I've been fired by a therapist. It just keeps getting better and better.

[derbstyron]

WARNING: Sad, bitter rant.

Over the past two weeks:

I have struck out with therapist after therapist in trying
to find someone. Because of: no insurance, they don't accept
Medicaid, they don't treat anorexic males or they don't want
to interfere with my other therapist at the community center
who is useless, incompetent and insisted that I find someone
else to handle the eating disorder in the first place. She would
be happy to work on my aspects of "self-esteem." God knows "thats"
near the top of my list of problems right now. And she's at
the community center so she's free and whoever I get must also
have a sliding scale or it ain't going to happen.


I finally found a therapist who would take me and she called
me back and told me that after thinking about it she had decided
she wouldn't be the right person for me. She wasn't comfortable
with the difficulties that my problems presented.

I'm down to calling therapists and centers in other parts of the
state to try and get help. Do you know how discouraging
(and embarrassing) it is having to call therapist
after therapist and going through the same list of
symptoms over and over, only to be told they can't
help me for assorted reasons.



There are NO treatment facilities for eating disorders in the
entire NATION that accept Medicaid. And the only facility
that will accept me is one three hours away, Shands at Gainsville.
The hospital is excellent and well-regarded but they aren't equipped
or able to deal with eating disorders. They are a strict pysch
ward stabilization unit.

Basically, they would get me stabilized, and keep me from cutting
myself while I was there but once patched up it wouldn't do me much
good. It's not addressing the underlying issues only the symptoms.
I've been down this road, in psych wards, six or seven times in
the past. They just stitch me up and kick me back out.

Where does that leave me? At this point I'm just about ready to
chuck in the towel and give up. I'll eat enough to stay alive and
function, which I've been able to do for years, tell the
therapist what she wants to hear and agree with the shrink and
just take meds that don't work.

I just started to believe people when they told me that I could
have a better life and a relief of some of the symptoms.

Well, my friends, it looks like Derbstyron is about to become
an emotional turtle. Sticking out my head,
only when necessary and otherwise staying alone.
Been nice knowing you.

RANT OVER: we now return you to your regularly scheduled post
reading.

[EFerrari]

1. Knocking on shell - - - -

Derbstryon, have you looked into clinical trials? I'm pretty ignorant of the resources in your area, but if you are anywhere near a major university, sometimes you can get good, free or nearly free care that way.

When God was a child, I used to have a panic disorder. And went through the cycle you describe. (In those days, panic disorders didn't exist yet, so I was non grata everywhere.) I read something in the newspaper about a guy working in Boston, and I called him. I remembering thinking, "Great, now I'm one of those people who calls strangers they read in the newspaper!") But, he took my call and referred me to a friend of his working the same field at Stanford. And the Stanford guy helped me.

Looking back, I don't know if going there because it was free helped. I went to the guys working at the top of their field, by accident, but that's what it amounts to.

It's miserable banging your head against the mental health system. I'd turtle, too. And, have.

[derbstyron]

4. I tried our local university.

But they turned me down for therapeutic assistance.

With the meds, at least, I'm OK.
The community center where I am currently getting treatment,
crappy as it may be, signed me up for the drug assistance
programs so I'm getting all my meds for free.

Of course, most of them don't work but that's another story.

I'll survive. I've been fighting these combos of illnesses
for about 15 years now and I've spit venom, cried for hours,
screamed in pain and threatened to end it all.

But I'm still here, fighting, slugging away.

Besides, you remember who won the contest don't you?

You know, the one between the tortoise and the hare.

:popcorn:

[derbstyron]

2. Testing new smiley - ignore.

[EFerrari]

3. LOL! Hey, I want the rainy one. How do I steal it?

:rofl: