Elshiva, Schizoaffective disorder, Depression, Anxiety disorders

[elshiva]

checking in. How are you all? A friend suggested this group cos I having a lot of anxiety issues lately. Thanks for being here.
:hi:

[Droopy]

1. Hi, Elshiva

I have schizoaffective disorder, too. The mood disorder that I have associated with my psychosis is bipolar. I used to have a lot of anxiety (hell, anxiety off the charts) when I was experiencing my symptoms, but ever since the introduction of the anti-psychotic the anxiety has disappeared. I do have to take a mood stabilizer as well as an anti-depressant, though.

I'm surprised to see another person here with the schizoaffective diagnosis. It's a rather rare diagnosis. I have a thread here dedicated to my fellow schizophrenics. Why don't you check in there, too? Welcome to the group. I'm sure there are some people here who can relate to anixiety and maybe a few who will tell you what they do to overcome it.

[elshiva]

2. schizoaffectives are not usually schizophrenic as well, are they?

I am not a schizophrenic. What does schizoaffective and schizophrenic have in common?

[Droopy]

3. Schizoaffective means schizophrenia with a mood disorder.

[elshiva]

4. Really? But I don't have multiple personalities!

I have been looked over by several hospitals including the famous Sheppard Pratt Hospital in Baltimore and they did not say I had schizophrenia. The people I live with never commented on different personalities. I do a bit of joke in the DU Lounge about being Dick Cheney, but that is just like impersonations, not mental disorders...

[Droopy]

5. Schizophrenia is not about multiple personalites

Do you take an anti-psychotic? There is very little real evidence that people with multiple personalities really exist and it is distinct from schizophrenia. Schizophrenics may sometimes hear voices that aren't there or see things that aren't there. Hallucinations are the trademark symptom of schizophrenia. But other schizophrenic traits, and probably more common ones, are paranoia, delusional thought processes, and flattened emotional responses.

In my case I would hear voices, thought that people could read my mind, thought I was the second coming of Christ or the messiah, thought that I had supernatural powers, had very intense paranoia, thought that people on the radio and the tv were communicating directly to me some secret message, things like that.

[elshiva]

6. I don't take an anti-psychotic. But I have had the feeling

that everyone hates me because they know the stupid stuff I'd done. Usually feel that people look at me and instantly hate me.

[Droopy]

7. That's a delusional thought process and is paranoia

Nobody knows anything about you until you talk to them. They may assume a lot of things based on your appearance, but they really don't know anything about you. And from what I've seen from you here at DU I don't see how anybody could hate you.

People who get the schizoaffective diagnosis usually have to take an anti-psychotic and a mood stabilizer. But it could be that you can get along ok without the meds. There are different levels of intensity of schizophrenia. I once saw a film about schizophrenia where a woman who had it got along ok with minimal meds.

[elshiva]

8. But I feel that they really do even though I understand what you

are saying. It's like they see me and know what a failure I am.

I take seroquel, which is for anxiety.

[Droopy]

9. I'm sorry you are finding out this way

Seroquel is an anti-psychotic. On the manufacturer's web site they market it as a treatment for schizophrenia. Your doctor should have been much more forthcoming with that information. I'm sorry, elshiva.

[elshiva]

10. I didn't know that!

I only see my pyschiatrist like once every 3 months to get the dope and then only for 10 minutes or less.

[Droopy]

11. Yep, mine is the same way

I guess doctors can sometimes not want to give you all the information for fear of freaking you out. They originally told me that I was bipolar. One day I needed a receipt from my vist with my psychiatrist and on it it said that I was being treated for schizoaffective disorder. I looked that disorder up and found out what I really had. I confronted the doctor about it during my next visit and he went into a lame discussion of what schizoaffective disorder is. Like I didn't already know.

[elshiva]

12. I got told I was bipolar, too, but that is not the official diagnosis.

[Droopy]

13. Well it might be true that that is the mood disorder

that you have associated with the schizophrenia. Schizoaffectives come in two types. Depressive and bipolar. But if you've got the schizoaffective diagnosis you have more than just bipolar. Do you take a mood stabilizer like depakote or lithium?

[elshiva]

14. No just seroquel!

[Droopy]

15. I know another person who has been diagnosed

schizoaffective and only takes an anti-psychotic. Risperdal in her case. Some of the anti-psychotics are also good at alleviating depression. But they won't give you an anti-psychotic to treat just depression.

[elshiva]

16. True, true.

I was once on Paxil, Busbar(sp.)

[rockedthevoteinMA]

17. That's interesting Droopy, the second paragraph of what you stated

I am bipolar and have had that happen to me, when I am manic. In my case I would hear voices, thought that people could read my mind, thought I was the second coming of Christ or the messiah, thought that I had supernatural powers, had very intense paranoia,
They told me I also have Borderline personality disorder, and that some of the symptoms are a product of the combination of both illnesses. They have me taking seroquel, and they told me it was for anxiety too.

It's interesting (and somewhat sad) how doc's treat patients, and aren't forthcoming with what they believe the person's diagnosis is. I know it took three years for two different therapists to finally say that I was a Borderline. I never understood it. Every time I would land in the hospital, some aide would ask me if I had ever been diagnosed with it. I would get out and ask my therapist, and she would get all ambivalent.

[Droopy]

19. I guess diagnosing mental illness can be a tricky business

and there could be some other factors that go into the schizoaffective diagnosis. And it could also be that they don't want you to carry the label of schizophrenia. I've heard that people who are in a manic state can also have psychotic symptoms, but they are usually brief episodes compared to that of someone with schizophrenia. Someone who is schizophrenic will be psychotic for years without the proper treatment with only brief periods of lucidity.

But for some reason doctors seem loath to give certain labels. I was originally diagnosed as bipolar with an affective disorder. Also someone tried to label me depressed with psychotic features. In both instances they prescribed and would have prescribed similar meds to the ones that I'm taking now. I'm of the opinion that if you have a certain illness then they should call it what it really is instead of trying to pussy foot around the issue.

[rockedthevoteinMA]

24. Hi Elshiva. I'm sorry things are so crappy for you right now. I know

I go through the same thing, thinking everyone hates me, and I weird people out because I act so "strange". I have learned a bit about schizoaffective disorder in my mental health classes, but I don't think it necessarily means schizophrenic. Here's a definition I found:
Diagnostic Criteria

1. An uninterrupted period of illness during which, at some time, there is either (1) a Major Depressive Episode, (2) a Manic Episode, or (3) a Mixed Episode concurrent with symptoms that meet (4) Criterion A for Schizophrenia.
snip
1.

(4) Criterion A of Schizophrenia
* Two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated):
o delusions
o hallucinations
o disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence)
o grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior
o negative symptoms, i.e., affective flattening, alogia, or avolition
* Only one symptom is required if delusions are bizarre or hallucinations consist of a voice keeping up a running commentary on the person's behavior or thoughts, or two or more voices conversing with each other.
2. During the same period of illness, there have been delusions or hallucinations for at least 2 weeks in the absence of prominent mood symptoms.
3. Symptoms that meet criteria for a mood episode are present for a substantial portion of the total duration of the active and residual periods of the illness.
4. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.

Specify type:

* Bipolar Type: if the disturbance includes a Manic or a Mixed Episode (or a Manic or a Mixed Episode and Major Depressive Episodes)
* Depressive Type: if the disturbance only includes Major Depressive Episodes
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-ps05.html

So it sounds like you only have to meet two of the four criteria to be diagnosed with it.

I know my psychiatrists in the past have given me seroquel as a mood stabilizer, and only used that. He also perscribes it for anxiety for me (and that crap knocks me out and makes me pretty useless). It's very common these days for the psychiatrists to use these meds for off label use, even though they aren't supposed to do that. A big :hug: to you, and welcome to the group. You should talk with your psychiatrist about this stuff, he/she should be pretty receptive to having this conversation with you, if not, you always have the choice of finding someone who is. (don't forget that.)

[elshiva]

26. Thanks for your help!

I guess feeling that everyone hates me on sight is a delusion? Also very depressed and speech is very difficult and disorganized.

Thank you

[FuzzySlippers]

18. Hi Elshiva!

:hi: It makes me sad for you to think that everyone hates you.:-( I think you're a very warm, smart, funny person.:-) I have problems with anxiety and depression myself.

[elshiva]

20. Thank You!

Well everyone does hate me, but you aren't everyone, though ;)

[Rhiannon12866]

21. Nobody hates you, my friend. Just look at the replies you've received

I am the friend who suggested you post in this group and I probably should, myself, and would, if I had more time on-line. My friend, you have received nothing but support here, though, perhaps, a revelation about what your doctor has been prescribing. But you have to know that this isn't an exact science. They make educated guesses and some just have favorite meds. I learned something amazing from the last doctor I saw, who finally told me I was right about the doctor I saw the year I got out of school. I thought the med she prescribed made no sense for me. He had known her and he agreed, said that this was just what she always did. *sigh* So you need to learn more and question the doctor. Maybe you can learn more here. But you have to know that, anywhere on DU, you are smart and funny, and are among friends.
:grouphug:

[elshiva]

22. ahh! Thanks dear friend.

I am feeling better. You are wonderful :loveya: :pals: and so is DU.

:grouphug:

[Rhiannon12866]

23. I am just your friend, and will continue to support you.

And DU is the wonderful thing, bringing so many kindred spirits together. There are so many great people here and I have seen gestures of support and kindness that have taken my breath away, ever since I first joined. Just look at the support and kindness that Andy Stephenson has received. Totally amazing. I first ran into him, when I was first on DU, when he posted a thread, pouring his heart out, because he was devastated over a friend's suicide. The kindness and compassion he received overwhelmed me. I posted on his thread and have considered him a friend, ever since. And now he needs help, again, because he is ill, and DU has really come through for him. And DU will be there, for you, as well. I am not as familiar with this group as I'd like to be, but I think the fact that I received dozens of responses when I was so scared when my dog was sick is a pretty good indication of the depth of compassion on DU. I think you're in the right place. And you know that I care, my friend.
:pals:

[elshiva]

25. LOL. "just friends?" I wasn't trying to come on to you or anything

the :loveya: is just to say I love you as a friend. Yeah, I have been feeling sucidial lately, but it comes with the territory. Don't worry, it will pass...

[Rhiannon12866]

27. I understand. You're going through a rough patch.

But recognizing it is the best first step. And finding and posting in this group is a move forward. A trusted therapist is important, as is the support you're getting from your family, but friends can also help. And sometimes people who you aren't close to can provide some needed perspective. And you know that I am your friend, and am unlikely to take offense at anything you say. I hope I didn't give that impression. I have been flamed since I've posted in the toughest forum on DU, so I am not easily offended, I promise. I just want you to feel better. And suicide is not the answer. I understand the impulse, but think of all that you'd miss, and how many people would miss you, and that includes me.

Rhi :loveya:

[elshiva]

28. Thanks! ;) What is the toughest forum on DU?

Suicide comes with the territory, don't worry about it...

[Rhiannon12866]

29. Don't even talk about suicide.

When I was your age, I had two close friends commit suicide, both guys, actually. It was terrible for everyone concerned.;(

The toughest forum on DU is the I/P forum, "the grudge match in the basement," as one of the survivors, from there, calls it. I've seen people drop like flies, there. They even have stricter rules. But this was good training, for me, in not taking anything personally, and when I have more time, on-line, to keep up with the issues, since these people are good, I plan to return there. I think that this is an important issue in this world that we have to solve. Too bad that Bush* doesn't agree.:grr:

Just hang in there and take things one day at a time.:pals:

[elshiva]

30. Sorry about worrying you, but it just is how I feel.

I won't kill myself or anyone else.

I won't go near the I/P forum, too sensitive...

Thank you. :pals:

[Rhiannon12866]

31. I understand, I promise. But this is not something you should even

Consider. I know you've heard the tripe about how you are young and have your whole life ahead of you, but I swear it's not tripe. I think about David and Bill. What would they be doing now? What would they have accomplished? Maybe they wouldn't have changed the world, but I know that they would be much happier than at 24 and 26. *sigh* And I miss them, and their families were torn apart. Just my two cents.:shrug:

And I am not suggesting joining the I/P forum. You have to want to belong there, since it is even rougher than even GD, these days. It's not for you, I know, but I was just answering your question.:-)

And we still will always be friends.:hi:

[elshiva]

32. Not considering doing it, just thinking that my parents would be

better off financially without me.

You are a great friend. Thanks for your patience!

[Rhiannon12866]

33. My friend, your parents love you,

And I'm sure that finances are the least of their considerations, if given the choice! Yikes! I'm sure that, if they knew that you were even having such thoughts, it would horrify them! I knew both sets of parents of my two friends who made this choice, and they couldn't help blaming themselves. Even the parents of my other friend, who was killed in a car accident, at about the same age, felt a terrible lot of guilt, kept asking themselves what they could have done differently to have prevented this from happening. I will never forget the look on his father's face, when I met him at the wake. It ripped my heart out and I'm getting choked up just thinking about it, and this was back in the '80s.;(

[elshiva]

34. I am sorry that you lost those two friends. It's sad to say but

it seems we both are attracted (in the sense of being friends with) to people who are sucidial and/or related to people who commit suicide. There is a terrible sadness to parents. In the end, I would not kill myself becuase it would be letting them down.

I like you very much. I am sorry to worry you like this.