I just got out of the psych ward, ask me anything

[no name no slogan]

Hey DUers,

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been around here in the last few weeks. Well, long story short, I had another major depressive episode, one that not only put me into the hospital but also seems to have spelled the end of my marriage and caused the loss of my home, too. :(

Well, I'm out of the hospital, and back working part-days at work, too. I'm living with my mother in another town, 90 miles away from where my house is. I'm not doing very well, but I'm a lot better than I was a week ago.

No way out but forward go.

[DemExpat]

1. So sorry to hear about your troubles, Nnns......

compounded by losing your house and marriage....:cry:

Do you have good professional and personal support now to help see you through?

:hug:

DemEx

[Droopy]

2. I am very sorry to hear that, man

And I did notice that you were gone. I was just wondering the other day why you weren't here.

Hang in there. It sounds as if it is time for you to start anew. Try not to look back too much and dwell on the past. I know it's got to be very hard for you right now, but try to look at it as a new beginning.

I'm glad you are ok.

[mopinko]

3. so sorry

hope that you get some effective help.

[NMMNG]

4. Hi

I'm new here so I didn't know you were gone. Sorry to hear of your troubles, but I'm glad you're back :hug: !

[Droopy]

5. Was it a lock down unit?

All three of the times I've been in the hospital the psych wards were lock down units. I was allowed outside 3 times a day to smoke in the second one. But the first and the third ones they wouldn't let you off the ward.

[no name no slogan]

13. It was a lockdown unit

If we were not a danger to ourselves or others, we were allowed out once a day for a walk around the hospital grounds. Also, we could get passes for up to 8 hours away from the hospital if the Dr. thought we were good enough.

Otherwise, it was pretty boring overall. Nothing to do but wordfinds, crosswords and crappy daytime TV (Maury was a big favorite). Thankfully my roommate was pretty mellow and I was able to read/sleep most of the time while I got my physical situation sorted.

Something wierd happened last night though: one of the women in the ward made the top of the local news last night when she was charged with making terroristic threats (story here). I talked to her a couple of times in the hospital, and she was a real sweetheart, but very depressed and very troubled.

I hope that she can get some help finally-- I'd really hate to see her end up in prison, especially since she's so ill. :(

[Ladyhawk]

6. Sorry about that. I've been in the psych ward a few times,

but they always kick me out after a few days because funding for mental health sucks. It's just as well. Tuolumne General Hospital's top floor is a hellhole. I went to great lengths once to avoid getting sent there and guess where I ended up? :eyes:

I hope the place you stayed was better. I was housed with people who were incontinent and had no idea where the hell they were. There was this OCD lady who carried a bible around. She kept setting it down carefully on a towel and arranging things around it. Every so often she'd start praying. A lady who had no idea what was going on started following her around. They'd arrange the bible and a few items, pray, pick up the bible, go to another table, start the whole thing again. OCD lady insisted on braiding my hair...I was too afraid to tell her no. Meanwhile incontinent man roamed the halls groaning and filling his adult-sized diaper.

Don't get me wrong. I feel for these people. They were in the hellhole, too. We had no real care. Basically, they shoved food and pills at us, kept us locked up and that was it.

There were two psychiatrists in charge. One was a fundy asswipe. The other was so stupid, I wonder if he accepted a brain donation from George W. Bush. Fucking idiots. These two were the only form of "therapy" anyone received. Other than that, there was no help for anyone. It was a dead-end sort of place. :(

Hmmm, this ended up being a "psych wards suck" post. Sorry about that. :( :( :(

[shrike]

9. Mental health care in this country sucks, doesn't it?

The mentally ill have to be their own advocate at a time when they're in no shape to do so.

I remember when I went to my primary care physician (HMO, of course) to ask for an anti-depressant. He practically threw me out of his office. "I don't do mental problems," he kept saying. Never forget the look on the nurse's face; she was both horrified and embarrassed. Should have reported him, but at the time I was more concerned with myself.

[Ladyhawk]

12. I understand. A nurse I once encountered needed to be reported,

but I never felt well enough to go back and do it. Now that I'm feeling better, I've been thinking about filing a complaint. It's been over a year ago, but what she did...sweet Jesus, she shouldn't be allowed anywhere NEAR suffering people.

[no name no slogan]

14. I reported a psychiatrist once, and he was canned

...after my first "major" breakdown about eight years ago. I couldn't go to work, and I was in rough shape. I called his office, and he called back, was very rude and inconsiderate, and told me I should just double the current dosage of my meds, and I'd be fine.

He didn't even want me to visit the office! His staff was abrupt and non-supportive, and didn't even seem to give a damn that I was suffering. I reported him to the clinic he worked for, and I know that when I checked back a couple years later he was no longer there.

Thankfully I was able to find a new clinic and new Dr. and counsellor and was able to recover. After having to leave that clinic a few years back (change in healthplans), I'm now back at it, and under the care of my old Dr. and a new therapist. Thank Allah for the professionals who care about their work and their patients.

[Ladyhawk]

7. OK, this is the post where I tell you that I'm really sorry

about your situation. Sometimes you get so low you can't function. It isn't your fault, but you still get punished for it. :( Obviously the wife can't deal with it anymore. God...why is it when we need people the most, they almost invariably fail us? They can't handle it...why the hell not?

I've learned to pretend to be happy when I'm not in order to get by...that's pretty sad, but in order to keep from losing what support you have, sometimes you have to do just that.

Good luck. :(

[shrike]

8. Oh, man

I managed to stay out of the psych ward, thank God, during all my depressive episodes -- and God, I had a lot of them. Remembering how I felt at that time, experiencing the depression was undoubtedly worse than your marital break-up and the loss of your home.

Good luck to you and stay strong -- I know you will land on your feet.

[no name no slogan]

10. Thanks everybody for being there

Just thought I'd let you know how things are going:

I got out of the hospital two weeks ago. I spent a week at Regions Hospital in a special unit they have for depressives and bipolars. It was pretty quiet naturally, but it was a lockdown unit and I couldn't leave. I got a 2-hour pass to walk around the grounds one day with my mom, but that was it.

Thankfully, things are getting better. My new meds (Cymbalta) seem to be starting to work. I started back to work PT last week, and they're glad to have me back. I'm seeing my therapist once a week for the next month, and trying to get into a group therapy program, too (bloody paperwork).

I also had the first conversation w/ my (ex-)wife last night since I was hospitalized. She's very domineering and intimidating, and I stood my ground with her and let her know in no uncertain terms that I would not be bullied, and made to take things at her breakneck pace. Sure, it stressed me out and made me mad, but it felt like a great weight was lifted after we hung up. I truly felt empowered in my relationship with her, for the first time in years.

I've come to realize that everything is not my fault, that she made mistakes, too, and played a role in what happened. Although I take full responsibility for my actions, I also realize that she could have done many things differently, too, and fixed the problems before they came to a head.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you folks know that I'm okay, relatively speaking, and that I value and treasure each and every one of you.


:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :yourock: :yourock: :yourock:

[DemExpat]

11. Very glad to hear your update, nnns.....

Sounds so good to be getting some balance with meds, feeling appreciated at work, and feeling very much empowered in responding to your ex-wife's dominance.

All the best!

:hug: :loveya:

DemEx

[ernstbass]

15. I'm glad things are looking up a bit

Is it a relief to get that first phone call w/ ex out of the way? Sounds like you handled it well - I hope you can give yourself some credit for that. Please concentrate on being good to yourself. You deserve it. Hang in there!!

[Sgent]

16. WOW

Having been intimately familiar with some psych hospitals myself, I can certainly empathsize. That being said however, I don't remember having nearly the restrictions that ya'll did -- even on suicide watch.

In all three hospitals I've been inpatient, smoking wasn't an issue, with fairly liberal abilities to go outside to a gated area. Although we saw our psychiatrist 1/day (during the work week), we also recieved a lot of group therapy with psychologists and social workers/therapists. In addition, we had individual counseling 2/week, meetings with dietitions, etc.

All the hospitals I was in accepted Medicare & Medicaid as well -- no private only hospitals.