Have Never Posted Here Before, but...

[CitySky]

I'm having a hard time of it right now.

BP-II, and was doing "fine" without meds for over a year and a half - it seemed like just making sure I got enough sleep was the most important thing, and when I hit potential stressors I'd see my therapist. Was usually fine by the time I even got to her.

Well, long and the short of it, some one-after-the-other stressors August & September threw me out of whack. I was edgy, irritable - basically hypomanic and afraid I might be headed for a big crash. Having had about 5 major depressive episodes in my life so far (I'm 35), I KNEW I didn't want to go there again! So I went to a psychiatrist to begin the awful process, AGAIN, of trying to find a medication scheme that works for me.

Okay. So far so good. Friends and my BP-I auntie rallying, rah-rah-rah, we're so glad you're doing this! We're right behind you! Stick with it!

But I'm afraid the first medicine we're trying here is making me depressed. First it sapped all my energy. Now I'm just sad and haven't gotten any work done all day. Even my run this morning - couldn't bring myself to finish the 3 miles running. Was MISERABLE, and walking, the second half of my loop.

YES, I left a message for the doc's office and will tell him what's up tomorrow. But right now it's hard.

I'm used to being busy. When I can't get jack squat done, or even when i get a lot LESS done in a day than I'm used to, it frustrates me.

[hedgehog]

1. Hey - you know it's the illness, not you

and that's a major first step. Keep working at it. This is a sneaky problem that gets you when you're not looking. By being aware of what's going on, you've done the most important thing.

[CitySky]

2. thanks hh

Yesterday was MUCH better. Today I'm tired but not so sad, it seems okay. Haven't changed the meds.

[DemExpat]

3. All the best with this, CitySky....

Keep us posted if you feel like it.

:hug:

DemEx

[CitySky]

4. thanks

I'm more hopeful about the whole meds ordeal today. It was just taking my body some time to work through the side effects.

Even my auntie was so optimistic Sunday night, telling me not to worry about the full dose at bedtime. I fretted, "It stays in my body 24 hours. What if I feel like this at work?"

She responded, "well, then you can get up and drink a whole lot of coffee!"

:7 Okay, that may not be the best advice clinically but it made me laugh, 'cause my auntie knows me SO WELL. So I'm getting by!

And yes, maybe I will check in here a little more often. I have several friends and relatives with either Bipolar disorder, depression, or depression plus anxiety, so I've seen a lot, especially lately.

[DemExpat]

5. You are lucky in having what seems like supportive, loving relatives.

This is worth so much, I'm sure you know.

:hi:

DemEx

[hedgehog]

6. Hey - now you know for sure it's not you

We love getting together and playing Track That Gene!

[Larissa238]

7. I hope that you are feeling better now!

I am BP-1, and so I know how the medication game goes. Im still playing it. I hope that things are going better for you now :hug:

If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me for my info. I tend to be online a lot.

[EFerrari]

8. Hi there, CitySky

I'm glad you're posting.

I, too, had/have a hard time with an anti-dep that works for me. And, I think I remember that when I first went on one, it initially made me feel well enough to know how miserable I was! What's up with that?! :)

Hang in there and let us know how it's going if you want to.

:hi:
Beth