I feel that I am conditioned to feel anxiety in many situations

[Nikia]

I think the key to getting better is to condition myself the other way.
For example, when I was in high school I would get nervous before races. My step mother made me pancakes every race day. I never had pancakes any other time during that period. When I was in college, there were pancakes many days for breakfast. One day, during the week when there wasn't a race, I ate pancakes and felt nervous. I had to eat pancakes several times before I no longer felt nervous when I ate them. I also had the same problem when riding busses.
Since around 9/11 when I moved to the town I live in now and our the business I work for underwent some changes, I have gotten panic attacks. Even when I don't have panic, I often have anxiety. I barely ever feel relaxed.
I have heard that acclamating helps. I have become less nervous about driving that way. I seem to be nervous about going to crowded stores though no matter how many times I go and get severe anxiety every time. I also get anxiety every day at work the moment I get there even though I go every day during the week. Since it is close, I have driven there a couple times on the weekend and I feel nervous the closer I get to the building.
Any suggestions for conditioning myself to be relaxed instead of anxious.

[DemExpat]

1. I see anxiety disorder as conditioning....

of reactions of a sensitive nervous system.

I reached a rock-bottom low point at one time when I could have full blown panic attacks at ANY situation/thought/imagining, and then I knew I had to approach it from this angle.

The biggest help for me in learning to condition myself to be relaxed (relatively :evilgrin:)instead of anxious was indeed to expose myself to all of these situations - first with just carrying a tranquilizer with me in my pocket (and a little bottle of water!) to take "just in case", which I never did, as it was just for the utmost extreme fear of dying and I had the presence of mind to realize that I was NOT going to die....and learning to focus on my breathing calmly, taking a sip or two or water, inviting the panic in and not trying to wildly escape/deny it....etc.

Standing up to panic by actually inviting it in is an incredibly strong tool and worked like "magic" when I practiced it to the point where I really meant it! :-)
This state to me feels like a state of calm, strong surrender.....!

Also taking smaller steps at first - like going into large stores, busses, etc. in times when they are not so crowded - not throwing yourself into a packed area or vehicle - makes good conditioning sense IMO.
It also used to be helpful with me when I entered a busy shopping center or store to see where the exits were, where perhaps the restrooms were, and would have that in my head as a map for in case I needed escape - just knowing the route like a map helped me in the very early stages of practice.

I also take water with me to stressful situations now, and just a few sips is enough to help me stay calm and to counteract any beginning dry mouth sensations if I get them.

As soon as you experience how it feels to calm yourself down - again and again - this ushers in more scope to handle anxiety in more situations, in my experience, as it teaches you that you DO have the power to deal with it and to keep yourself "safe" from terror.....

This is all I can think of at this moment, Nikia, and wish you strength and calm during this period in your life.

One more aspect - do you like your job? Your social network? With me, anxiety was much more a problem when I was "stuck" in life situations that were not agreeable to me, and when I made more positive changes, anxiety lessened.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

DemEx

[Nikia]

2. Thanks for your support

And adding your suggestions and experience.
Yes, I do feel stuck at my job, which I don't like. I don't have as good of social network as I would like and really don't like the town that I live in. I have been working on changing that but anxiety holds me back (not doing well at interviews, being afraid to take a lower paying job, being afraid to move without a job).