Flat Affect

[Kire]

I'm on Depakote and I've noticed that I just can't feel much anymore. NO extremes either way. I'm just indifferent about everything. I don't want to go out and talk to people, and when I'm in a conversation with someone, I just draw a blank after a minute. It's really scary because I need to get motivated to do things. I'm on disability and I don't want to stay on it, but it looks like I'm going to have to because I don't have any motivation to learn anything. I take an acting class because I thought it would help with social anxiety, but I find that I don't have a problem getting on stage. When I'm up there I just try to remember the lines and read them the same way over and over. I've been told I'm droll several times now. They all say it's charming and somebody compared me to Bob Newhart today, which is a compliment, but it came out of nowhere. I wasn't trying to be like Bob Newhart, anymore than I was trying to do anything but get through the assignment. I'm just trying to survive and do the best I can with what I have. I don't feel like I have any skills anymore.

Is it the Depakote? My doctor said that he wanted me to try a different mood stabilizer called Lamictil to improve my weight gain but this flat affect has just crossed my mind tonight after the acting class.

Has anybody experienced this kind of a side effect? Any advice? (Edit: not medical advice, more like advice on how to live with this condition)

[Tab]

1. This stuff messes with your brain chemistry

I'm not familiar with Depakote specifically but if you are getting this effect after taking Depakote, and you didn't have it before Depakote, then it's not hard to connect the dots. Talk to your doctor and tell them about it - everyone reacts differently.

The whole point of these medications are to improve your ability to deal with life. If it's creating new problems, and the cure is just as bad as the disease, just in different ways, then it's not really a help, is it? So, talk to your doc and see if they can find something else that can help you, but works with a different mechanism so it won't have quite that effect on you. Most doctors usually have a specific starting point, and they have to see how you react. If it works, great. If not, then you try something else. If you haven't been on stuff like this before, they don't know what will or won't work well for you, so you have to start somewhere and see how it goes. Report back and say "it took care of problem X, but now I have problem Y, and I can't really function that way, so is there anything else we can try?". It may take a few rounds of meds, but hopefully you'll get to something that works for you with minimal drawbacks.

[Deja Q]

2. Beware. Even if you see a difference, they may not listen...

A bad difference, that is. Or you have to press home a strong, concise, distinct argument as to why they need to change meds for you. Zoloft+Strattera nearly blew my heart (resting pulse over 100, I'd barely move and sweat to death; my pulse over 130... then comes running rate...) I'd been on it a week. They told me I'd have to be on "the medicine" for a month to notice positive effects. I kept pressing home because I am of sound mind (just as emotional as a manic barometer...).

It's a gamble, in more than just monetary respects. The brain controls all. The wrong drugs will kill you. Or, worse, cripple you mentally under the "perfect" circumstances. And, unlike illegal drugs, they don't give you free samples for you to properly get hooked on.

The whole point of these medications are to improve your ability to deal with life. If it's creating new problems, and the cure is just as bad as the disease, just in different ways, then it's not really a help, is it?

As you said, that's very true.

[knowbody0]

3. the condition you speak of describes how i felt for too long

flat lined..................................
so, i stopped my medications and have only now a perscription for "emergency" panick attacks. knowing they are available is good, and in 90 days i have only needed 7 of the little darlings.
i've had more than a few weeping spells, find myself hyper analytical of every one around me.

i realize i may be walking a dangerous path, but i was so tired of the non feeling.

good luck Kire, imagining you with Bob Newhart's skills gives me a smile