my son attempted suicide today

[shanti]

he's my third son (J), and he's mentally ill. i just got a call from one of my other sons (A) (i'm 500 miles away) who was visiting J and father (they live together). A came back to their apartment and found J lying in the bathtub covered in blood and a razor blade in his hand, but conscious. J had cut his throat, but it appears that they were superficial cuts. this is not the first time J has done this. J told him he just 'wanted to die'. he's also said he wanted to throw himself over a freeway overpass.

so i called around and found the hospital J was sent to in orange county. he's stable and will be given a consult by the psych dr. i don't know what to do.......:cry: i'm also hurting for my son A who walked in on this. A is a sensitive, quiet soul who i'm sure was deeply affected by viewing this. it's not the first drama that J has put him thru either...

we won't even begin to discuss my oldest son N, who has become detached and emotionally numb because of so much.....stuff.

A said that he only asked for his cigarettes, which he didn't give him (he chain smokes and is also an alcoholic. my ex has been thru so much drama with J, it has affected his own health. the authorities will not help. they put a 72 hour hold on him and let him go before, i don't see that they'll do anything different now. he needs to be in a locked facility, but how does one make that happen??

i'm sorry, i just had to vent.....:cry:

[EFerrari]

1. I am so sorry. So very sorry.

I hope everyone is safe for now.

:hug:

[shanti]

3. thank you

:hug:

[varkam]

2. I'm not familiar with the laws there

But as far as I know here, if someone presents a danger to themselves or anyone else they can be involuntarily committed to an in-patient mental health facility with the consent of either the treating physician/psychiatrist/psychologist or the next of kin. While that can be a painful thing to think about doing, you should realize that in situations where someone has attempted suicide it is always better to be safe than sorry.

There is a bright side to this, at least from what you've said. The bright side is that your son is still alive and that the people who care about him and love him know that they have to take action to help. I wish you the best of luck :pals:

[shanti]

4. i appreciate that info

and will share it with A, my other son. and yes, we do love and care about him, and just want him to be safe. thank you for your concern :hug:

[kineneb]

9. code 5150

here is the CA code you need to use...

WELFARE AND INSTITUTIONS CODE
SECTION 5150-5157

5150. When any person, as a result of mental disorder, is a danger
to others, or to himself or herself, or gravely disabled, a peace
officer, member of the attending staff, as defined by regulation, of
an evaluation facility designated by the county, designated members
of a mobile crisis team provided by Section 5651.7, or other
professional person designated by the county may, upon probable
cause, take, or cause to be taken, the person into custody and place
him or her in a facility designated by the county and approved by the
State Department of Mental Health as a facility for 72-hour
treatment and evaluation.


http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=wic&group=05001-06000&file=5150-5157

[EFerrari]

13. It's really hard to 5150 people -- or, at least it is in our county.

That's probably as it should be but when Doug was obviously ill, I couldn't even get imMobile Psych Services to come to evaluate him. Sheesh.

[gemdem]

5. I don't know what to say

except that I'm sorry.

:hug:

[EFerrari]

6. shanti, how is everybody? Give us an update when you can.

We get through these moments.

:hug:

:grouphug:

[Tab]

7. This is the right place

No need to apologize for venting.

I'm also sorry you (and he and everyone) have to go through this.

Whether a serious attempt or just a "cry for help", it's painful to watch someone go through it and feel so powerless about it. You be there for him, and we'll be there for you.

I wish you the best.

- Tab

[mopinko]

8. is j taking meds/getting treatment?

how old is he? so sorry you are going through this. mentally ill kids are a special hell.
my middle kid is bi-polar, and it has just been a ripple of pain and bs through the whole family. the one just older, like a, is sensitive and has been warped by it all. i live in fear of walking into something like that someday. she is settling down and doing better lately. but who knows. and the 2 youngest are finally starting to figure out that their mother is not quite the ogre their sister told them about. she's just a little run down from it all.
take care of yourself. hope that you have love and support around you.

[shanti]

10. thank you for your concern

:hug: he's already been prescribed meds (dunno which ones), but he won't take them because he says it "makes him sleepy". and he's almost 26, a grown man.

[shanti]

11. *UPDATE*

got this info from one of my other sons. J was seen by a psych the evening of the attempt. they asked him if he was going to try it again, and he said NO. my other son said that he showed up at the apartment at 4am, partially bandaged, and wearing a rubber exam glove on one hand. :( we don't know if he just walked out or if he was released. a discussion with a nurse at the hospital the next morning (after he had suppposedly been discharged to a psych facility the nite before) was not very helpful. she said that since he is an adult he can do what he wants. if he is deemed not to be a danger, they let him go. after J came back to the apartment, he smoked a ciggy, had a beer and went to sleep like nothing had happened. before he went to sleep, he mentioned that he was going to "do it right" next time.

i won't even go into the attitudes of the police officers when they picked him up...

the whole family is a mess because of this. :cry: he cries out for help, but he won't take the help.

[EFerrari]

12. This sounds very dangerous to me. You might want to talk to

the good people at www.psychlaws.org (i think it's "laws" not "law")

They can tell you what your options are -- they can tell you if Laura's Law has been implemented where you live. John Ross was my contact there.

[shanti]

14. sfxpat

thank you for the direction. i will call them today and see what they say.

peace

[EFerrari]

15. Good luck!

:hug:

[DemExpat]

16. This sounds so painful, shanti.....and very dangerous.

Would it help at all do you think if you went to him personally to confront him with your loving concern and firm direction to get help?

Would he take more direction from you at this time?

I have 2 adult children, but this behavior is more like mine with my parents in the past. :cry:

:hug:

DemEx

[Deja Q]

17. He reminds me of me. Literally.

I've read about several methods.

Attempted several times.

Thought of doing it several times more. Including jumping over a freeway pass or lying on railroad tracks.

Razor blades. (for suicide attempt when 'cutting' was no longer effective.)

Drug overdosage.

Flying to Switzerland...

If it wasn't for an unanticipated drug interaction that got me into an uncontrollable fit of crying, the latest attempt WOULD have been successful. (PM for details, but it's stuff you do not want ANYBODY to know because the method is painless and it was solely because of drug interaction (an anti-anxiety plus anti-convulsant) that kicked in and changed my mind from determined to feeble.

And I have been called 'nice', 'sweet', 'quiet', 'sensitive', 'soulful', and everything else.

I volunteered to go to hospital the last time (I was gone for 5 days, and nobody on DU noticed which was somewhat saddening.)

If you have proof that guy is intent on killing himself and can prove his other attempts (word of mouth is not necessarily proof, even if the person admits it of his own, sober accord), you might be able to get him locked up.

But keep this in mind and this DID help me in the hospital: I got bored, even more lonely, tired, and missing my possessions (I've got nothing else...). Never mind wanting to get back to work so I could continue paying back the remaining debt. I'd do ANYTHING to get out of that place. And I went in via my own accord. If he's forced in, he might be there for a period a lot longer than even you might want to be considering. And that'll put him in a position far worse than death. He won't be happy. You won't be happy. Nobody's gonna be happy.

It's a shame our society takes away certain freedoms in the name of cherishing life. Meanwhile, the bastards who make us the emotionally feeble are still given carte blanche. Why can't those fuckers be locked up instead? All they do is hurt lives. I want to live and conform and I'm denied the opportunity all the time.