Should I come out about my sexual abuse?

[Digit]

I told my mother shortly before she passed. I could see the pain in her eyes as I told her. She had trusted these people.

I even tried to tell the mother of the abuser while in my 20's, but when I visited her home, found she had passed away. She was my babysitter and the perpetrator was one of her sons.

I am 55 now, and it still seems to have an impact on my life.

I was only about 7-8 years old.

[mopinko]

1. how old was the perp?

do you have any reason to believe that this person is still doing such things?

[knowbody0]

2. I faced by abuser much later in life.

Nothing but denial from him. He married an ex-nun, had two children, is a successful professional something or other. The thing is, I know he knows what he did to me. He knows I know he knows. Mayhaps this is where I adopted my user name.

Good luck to you. After a couple of years of therapy I have learned these experiences are in my cells as pain and are a part of who I am and from where I make choices in my life.

Hugs and love for you on your journey.

I am Kate

[CoffeeCat]

5. Hi Kate...

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about the sexual abuse that you experienced as a child. You
were an innocent child and you did not deserve to be abused.

I think you are courageous for telling your mother and also for attempting to tell the mother of the
perpetrator. Those are huge, brave steps to take! Many times we (I was sexually abused too) are
too traumatized to tell and we remain silent. Silence only aids the perpetrators.

I'm sure it hurt your mother to hear that you suffered, but you needed to share this with her. She
feels your pain, and I hope that has helped in your healing journey.

I was also met with complete denial when I confronted my perp. Actually, it was more than denial, it
was an academy-award-winning performance. I've known many survivors who have confronted, and I have
yet to hear that one person received an apology. I just wanted you to know that I understand the pain
of an abuser not acknowledging reality. You're not alone.

I wish you the best as you heal and journey through life. :)

[EFerrari]

3. It's hard to tell our truth in a safe place sometimes.

I hope you find one, Digit.

:hug:
:grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

4. I don't know the answer

I had a scoutmaster when I was 12 who was a sick person. He did things in front of us, like masturbate, he talked about it and sex constantly. He fondled at least one kid. Why didn't we tell? I know that I didn't and sometimes I feel so terribly guilty about it. I lived in Utah, and was a non mormon. this scout troop was the only non mormon scout troop where i lived. my parents wouldn't let me go to mormon scout troops so if i couldn't go here, then there was no scouts. that's the only thing i can come up with.

i know this isn't so much direct abuse, but it has had a tremendous impact on my life. it created a sexualized atmosphere that led me to have problems with sexual compulsivity, and it is related to depression and anxiety in my life. there were so many other factors that went along with it.

I'm sorry that you had what happened to you happen. I don't know what to tell you. :pals:

[Nimrod2005]

6. Yes you should come out, Pleae do, it is part of the healing process

:hug: