Part of being depressed for me is very low self esteem

[terrya]

But it's a Catch-22. If I feel like I'm worthless, than how can I boost my self-worth?

[bling bling]

1. Do you have a counselor?

If not, a counselor could maybe help you to discover how your negative thoughts about yourself impact your self-esteem and contribute to depression.

Or, if that's not possible, I had a psychology teacher once who swore that David Burns was a fantastic reference for people with Depression. One of his books relating to self esteem and depression, 10 Days to Self Esteem, looks like it was positively reviewed (I just checked it out on Amazon reviews).

But from what I've learned, the thing with cognitive behavioral therapy from a book is that you have to be committed to trying and actually doing the exercises from the book.

[blondie58]

2. aw, (((Terrya))) here is a hug, because you deserve it

That is tough- and oftentimes, it is because of our past that we feel the way we do.

What I would prescribe for you - not being a doctor, but a concerned fellow human!- is to do some daily affirmations. Try this site, for example-

http://www.orindaben.com/db/dbaffirm/affirmations.php

Really, after awhile, you will start to believe it. Just to poke fun at it, but Stuart of SNL fame was right in that aspect.

Good luck with your dilemma.

[terrya]

3. Thanks

Thanks so much for the hug.

:hug:

I'll do those affirmations. I can't keep beating myself up anymore.

[DemExpat]

4. Affirmations can help. One powerful technique is to look yourself

in the eyes in the mirror and tell yourself - sincerely - what you appreciate about yourself.

This is a VERY uncomfortable exercise to do - I have never done it longer than 5-6 days in sequence, but I can imagine it being very powerful. It is so much easier to give love and appreciation to good friends and family!

You know, I have lived most of my life with long periods of very low self-esteem, and whenever those thoughts return into my daily life, I just acknowledge them and then Let Them Go. I don't dwell on them at all anymore, and don't give them any attention or power. It feels like "Oh, there you are again,...hi...." but don't go into a conversation with it anymore agreeing with it or adding extra negatives like I used to. I don't let it get me into vicious circle anymore.

This is what I feel is managing some aspects of mental health problems - not fighting them or using alcohol or leisure drugs to escape them - but matter of factly acknowledging the thoughts or feelings and then going on to other things. Not letting them grab hold, but not running from them either.
With practice this gets easier each time, and I feel prevents more serious downward spirals.

This has worked for me well now for decades, and the low periods are fewer and farther between!

:hug:

DemEx

[terrya]

5. Thank you.

I'm at this point where I feel completely worthless. I'm scared because I've been thinking about death quite a bit...but I know I'd never attempt suicide because I know how selfish and how hurtful it would be to my family, my friends, my partner. I can't do that to them.

I need to do what you suggested...look in the mirror and tell myself how much I appreciate myself.

In the past...I did use alcohol and drugs to escape my depression. I abused alcohol in particular. I thought that if I got drunk enough, things would be better. But then the alcoholic haze disappears, the hangover is there...and life is just as it was before.

I appreciate the responses to my post. I know counselling is important...in fact, I saw an ad in a local paper for a study on depression...I have called and asked about being a participant in the study. I know it would help me.

Thank you for your insights.

:hug:

[EFerrari]

6. What DemEx said. Say it out loud so it will go into your ears and

then to your brain.

DemEx is right on.

:hug: to you, terrya.

[blondie58]

7. and make it a point

to do something for YOURSELF- every day. It can be as simple as taking a little extra time to look at a flower, taking a bubble bath, reading a special poem or quote, or having a s'more- childhood memories, you know!

I do some volunteer work at a local cat shelter and as it is close to my routes while I am working, I go in for a "cat fix"- LOL- not like I don't have enough animals at home! There is something about petting an animal and having it sit in your lap that is so soothing to your soul, not to mention the feeling of complete love that you receive from an animal.

And speaking of soothing for your soul, it is helpful for me to spend some time in nature each day. I love being outside in my garden, or by the river or in the mountains. It leaves me with such a peaceful feeling and I feel like everything is right in my world.

As we all struggle with feeling good about ourselves and feeling positive in this life we leave, I would like to share with you a couple of favorite web sites. It is so helpful for me to visit them frequently; it renews my spirit.

this one is really cool- check out some of their essays and stories.
http://www.inspirationpeak.com/


I have a passion for quotes. There are so many eloquent ones out there that speak volumes.http://www.thinkexist.com/

[DemExpat]

8. I really like that first site, blondie

thanks for sharing that here!

:hi:

DemEx

[blondie58]

9. isn't it cool, Dem Expat?!

I think that we all struggle from the pressures of everyday life and I stumbled upon this during a low point in mine and now visit it frequently.

Staying positive is difficult and this site really helps to keep yourself up.

And here is a wave right back atcha!

:hi: