don't really know if i wanna talk about this

[bertha katzenengel]

not giving detail. suffice to say that i have this trigger. i go absolutely uncontrollably hysterical. i am out of control. i don't hurt anyone. i don't hurt myself. but if you saw me screaming, crying, and thrashing, you would be scared.

i had many years of therapy with a woman who saved my life. she put the pieces back together. first she made it safe to hurt, then she took me into the hurt. but a couple of years ago more work came up. now i'm nearly 3000 miles away from her. i have another therapist but it's a different relationship. it's not working as well for me, but i can see that it will work.

meanwhile i'm now seeing a new psychiatrist, the most thorough and professional one i've known. the tweaking has begun with my fifth medication. i mean, the fifth one - that i take with my other four. shit.

last night i hit the trigger again. i'm sick of it.

ps to judging freepers: go look in your own families, if you have the stones.

[fizzgig]

1. i hope your healing continues, bertha

a :hug: for you

is there anyway you can avoid this trigger or is it more of an internal thing?

peace to you

[bertha katzenengel]

2. i can't avoid it

to avoid it i'd have to stop driving.

thank you :hug:

[hunter]

3. Hugs.

:hug: