any hints on how to stop

[mzteris]

obsessing?

My "usual MO" when it becomes a problem - has generally been to just find something else - or new - to "obsess" about. And hat really doesn't work all that well in the long run, doncha know.

The meds have helped A LOT!! but I'v got this one - thing - I'm obsessing over and I really need to stop before I embarass myself. :(

[no name no slogan]

1. Distraction

Go do something else that's not related to what you are obsessing about. Go for a walk, watch TV, read a book, call a friend. If there's one thing I've remembered from my various treatments over the past year, this has been IT.

[SPKrazy]

2. I have a hard time with that one too

mzteris

I obsess

I'm on new meds

I feel better

but i still obsess

so i don't have an answer, but i empathize with you a lot

[hedgehog]

3. Maybe ask your doc about the new meds. If they helped at the current dose,

maybe you could up the dose or take them at a different time of day.

[qb]

4. I have been doing REBT with a therapist... it has helped me.

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy by Albert Ellis. Look him up at the library. You can do it on your own, but it helps to have someone guide you. I have been obsessing over a guy I've been dating who has been increasingly unavailable, but won't say what's on his mind. I identify the "irrational beliefs" that lead to my obsessing (like "he has to like me", "I have to be in a relationship to be happy", "I can't stand the uncertainty", etc.) and then dispute these beliefs, because he doesn't have to like me, I can find ways to be happy, and I can stand it (I just don't like it). Finally I identify healthy negative emotions to replace the obsessing, like concern, disappointment, frustration. These aren't pleasant emotions, but I can cope with them. It takes a lot of repetition, but I honestly feel much better.

[mzteris]

5. you sound like me . .

sort of.

The guy I'm obsessing over seems to actually like me. If I were younger, or he older, I'd believe that he really does. It's an impossible situation, of course.

I interpret EVERYTHING. Every little detail. Dissect, relive, project, replay, analyze.

Pathetic, ain't I?

Wanna know the real kicker, though? I'm getting "blamed" for being involved with him. It's so ironic - I'm catching so much flack. I vehemently deny it. Which is true - I'm not; though some part of me would like to be.

The rational part of me knows it's totally impossible - and improbable - but I can't seem to let it go.

Thanks for the book reference. I'll look into it and mention it to my therapist, too.

[qb]

6. Not pathetic... it's what an intelligent person does with incomplete information.

If you care about someone you can't get close to, it's natural to want to analyze every clue to try and figure out what's really going on. I am gradually getting more comfortable with not knowing what's on his mind.

I am sorry you have to deal with such judgmental (and ill-informed) people. Another thing that has helped me find peace is convincing myself that I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK!!! But this is hard do do when it goes contrary to your emotions.

I hope you find peace.