Let's say that you are dating someone and you are also being treated for mental illness

[Droopy]

At what point in the relationship would you reveal that you have a mental illness? Would it be a deal breaker for you if someone you were dating turned out to have a mental illness?

I have a severe mental illness, but I have been successfully treated for nearly five years. If you met me you probably wouldn't know that I have a mental illness unless I told you. I have tried a dating service that caters to mentally ill people, and I've met some nice women there, but nobody close to where I live.

I understand this is something a potential mate would need to know and I would not attempt to hide my illness. It's just a question of how soon I should make her aware of it.

[EFerrari]

1. I think somewhere between being friends and being lovers.

A friend you can share this with. A lover may feel hijacked?

That's a really good question.

[qb]

2. I would wait until she feels comfortable enough to share some of her vulnerabilities.

There's nothing wrong with keeping your mental illness private until she knows you well enough to give the matter some thought rather than make a snap judgment.

[Forkboy]

3. I'm into telling people straight out from the get go, even though it's the proverbial kiss of death.

People hear "bipolar" and think, "Oh, potential killing spree!".

I recently had someone I care deeply about tell me it would have been an issue for her had we gotten together. And this was a person I consider to be the most understanding person I've ever known. So I have little faith in anyone tolerating it at this point, and I'm not sure I can blame them anymore. I AM a headcase. :)

But I do think being open and honest upfront is the way to go, regardless of the outcome (and regardless of the issue, for that matter). It is a lot to deal with as a partner, and they need to know from the start what they may have to deal with, imo.

Of course, over the last few months I've been wrong about EVERYTHING relationship wise, so take this with a grain of salt.

[mopinko]

4. well it beats passing on your denial.

not sure what the answer is, but even if you wait a while to tell, it beats doing what my daughter is doing- she is in complete denial, living with her boyfriend, and fantasizing about a happily ever after that neither of them are real, real likely to ever see.
like beth says- between friends and lovers. when she starts to wonder why you are taking your time getting in her pants, tell her.