Daughter just diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder...help needed, please.

[BeHereNow]

I've been on a helluva ride with my 21 year old daughter this year guys.
FINALLY, we saw a doctor today who explained what's been going on.

From what I have researched about BPD tonight, it would appear that
she has just gone through her first episode.
Starting sometime last fall with a several month long depression,
a short period of plateau, and most recently the most frightening
manic behavior I have ever seen.

EXTREMELY high risk behaviors accompanied by rapid,
blurting speech patterns that indicate feelings of
invincibility and well, grandiosity.
She also becomes VERY aggitated and explosive if
interrupted or an attempt to reason with her is made.
(The doctor told me I was wasting my time trying to
reason with her when she is manic due to the euphoria she felt)
I thought we were going to get thrown out of a
store on Saturday, she was acting so wildly.
I whispered to her that she needed to calm down
and she whipped around and said in the
staccato speech pattern, "BUT I'M HAPPYYYYYY. Dammit!!!"

The deression scared me pretty bad, but I think
the mania actually scares me worse.
I fear for her physical safety.
From what I can tell, she has a tendency to really
piss some people off, especially if she drinks alcohol.

Thye doctor said it is typical for BPD people to self
medicate with substances,

We are going to be advised on a mood stablizer medication
tomorrow.

I am relieved to finally know what the hell has
been happening over last 9 months, but also scared.

I would appreciate any fellow DUers with experience
in BPD, either personally or with a loved one, to share
and advise.
(On edit: In particular your experience with
the various mood stablizers prescribed for controlling the highs and
lows.)
I'm so exhausted... from dealing with it for so long.
I could use some advice.

Thanks in advance.
BHN

[madrchsod]

1. see you in the morning i`ll bookmark

[BeHereNow]

2. THANKS! I've gotten some amazing PMs the last twenty minutes.

DUers are the best.
BHN:grouphug:

[Wilms]

3. Consider acupuncture. n/t

[BeHereNow]

4. I'll look into it-

We are looking at everything!
BHN

[99th_Monkey]

5. I have a 24 y.o. son who's stabilized *knock on wood* after 3-4 years of BPD

There is much to say, much at stake, etc. ... which I suspect you already understand.

I'll DU-message/email you soon, ok?

Til then, hang in there. ~Impeachment_Monkey

[BeHereNow]

10. Thanks- I left you a message on your machine this morning.

You are too kind.
The Icarus Project web site was most
helpful to read.
BHN

[zazen]

6. watch out for antidepressants and stimulants of any kind

So sorry you're going through this. As others have said, this is no substitute for medical advice, although truth to tell I've seen some pretty awful advice from psychiatrists through the years as well.

We've got some variant of bipolar II in our family, and some of us are sensitive to even caffeine or sudafed to set it off. Tricyclics and ritalin are real no-nos. Typically, antidepressants shouldn't be given in bpd without a mood stabilizer. The jury's out on that, IMO.

Sometimes atypical depression ("women's" depression) can look like rapid cycling bipolar, but your daughter sounds like she's in a pretty full blown manic phase without the mood reactivity of atypical depression. I just say that because the meds can be pretty different. They're finding that the old MAO inhibitors are actually pretty good for atypical depression, because everything else usually fails. They come in patches now and don't have all the nasty interactions. And as someone else wrote, Paxil has a slew of nasty stories around it, and I personally signed onto their class action lawsuit (it made me do some really crazy things too. Worst experience with a prescription drug ever, except for Scope while I was in labor.)

Google www.bipolarworld.net. That's a fabulous site by a doctor with all of the latest research. You'll find EVERYTHING there, and very up to date.

My best wishes to you.

[BeHereNow]

12. Manic is putting it mildy- she's nuts. Completely nuts.

She did some things about a week ago that sent chills down my spine.
Completely insane- we are talking getting arrested type things.
This from a kid who was the sweetest thing on the planet
a few years ago. I don't recognize this person sometimes.
She says really terrible things to me when she is like this.

The doc said that was most likely the peak of this particular
manic period and that she would now be on her way down.

She is still manic, but nothing compared to "THAT day" last week.

I am truly grateful that I have you guys right now.

BHN

[mdmc]

7. first off, it looks like you got a good Dr. and made a good diagnosis

(sometime bi-polar is mistaken for depression).
I find that bi-polar folks often don't work well with SSRI medication (not a fact, just my experience). Look into Abilify.

Second, they are doing neat shit with acupuncture and electric stimulation (this is cutting edge, not the old school shock the shit out of them from "A Beautiful Mind"). I'll look into this for you and reply again.

Third. You guys can deal with this. You can both lead very rewarding and satisfying lives. Through symptom management and skill development your girl can get the best of this disease.

Fourth. Keep checking in here (DU's MH group). Someday, you will be helping someone else here through this.

Fifth. :grouphug: I read your posts all the time (both here, and as NowBeHere). I'm a fan and will gladly help and support you and yours anyway I can. I don't have much to say or offer, but I'm sayin it and offering it just the same.

Peace and low stress.

[BeHereNow]

9. Thanks for a beautiful post- "You guys can deal with this." Pass the tissue please.

That made me cry because months and months of
trying to make it better, and I couldn't, really has made me feel helpless.

I do feel hope and renewed strength now that someone
has identified the problem and directed us toward a solution.

I'm scared of the medications; ADR and all, but we
HAVE to do something! Life has become unbearable.
The constant worry and chaos.

Once again, the most wonderful people have
appeared with hearts open in great kindness and support
at yet another difficult time in my life.

You guys have walked me through two deaths and now this.

I swear, I don't know what I would do
with out you guys.

BHN/NBH

[Holly_Hobby]

8. My mom has been bipolar most of her adult life, she's 73 now

She wouldn't stay on meds for very long. Back then, it was called manic/depressive.

She had a manic episode last fall, where she was mean and paranoid. She checked herself in to the geriatric mental ward. She was put on Depakote and Risperidal. She's now nearly unable to care for herself. She's developed drug-induced Parkinson's, which is looking like it's going to be permanent, no matter the drug levels.

She's always had a problem with money. My dad worked 2 jobs to pay the bills. After he died, she went through nearly a million dollars in cash and property in 5 years. She lives on $1,152 in SS now, living in HUD housing.

My mom also has the personality disorder narcissism. She's very difficult and fights everyone about everything. It's like trying to reason with someone who's drunk.

If there's anything I can help with, feel free to PM me. I've lived with a bipolar mother for 52 years.

[BeHereNow]

11. I'm sorry; I know what you mean about trying to reason with her...

The past few days my head has been "bitten off" so many times
its a wonder I can still think.

I just try to tip toe around her when it is like that.
It does me no good to say anything in response.

BHN

[Holly_Hobby]

14. If I have one piece of advice,

it's if your daughter shows ANY neurological signs from her meds, call her psychiatrist immediately - even after hours or on weekends or holidays. The sooner they stop or reduce the drug, the better chance she'll have for a neurological recovery. If you wait too long, the tremors, drooling and slow, shuffling walk becomes permanent.

[Quakerfriend]

15. Dear BeHereNow, we are all here for you dear

:hug:

My mother was dx'd as being unipolar @ age 76. The doctors told us she had most likely been bipolar since her teenage years.

As you can imagine, we all lived with the same feelings you express- feeling like you can't say anything and, never feeling that you can have a discussion and actually come to a resolution. We do understand dear.

I have recently read that many have been helped with a treatment called alpha stim. I'm sorry my mom did not live long enough to possibly benefit from such a treatment. But, just wanted to share this with you. I hope you find some balance soon.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=276x1649

[BeHereNow]

17. Thank you Quakerfriend. The support from everyone has helped me so much.

I am sorry you lived that way. It's so very hard, especially when
it comes from someone you love so deeply.

I feel like I have lost my child.
I don't recognize her; now and then I catch a glimpse
of who she really is, but then the other person, the stranger
appears again, and it hurts so much to know my daughter
is locked in there somewhere and I can't free her.

Again, I would feel so alone if it were not for all the
love and support from you people.

Reminds me of the story of the wounded healer-
Only people who have lived this can help heal this
and for that, I am so grateful for each and every DUer
who has reached out to offer understanding.

BHN

[City of Mills]

13. It's a wild ride

I just saddled up...my wife was just diagnosed a couple of months ago. We've been separated awhile now ( > year )though neither of us has moved on. I'm in a particular state of hell because I don't know how much of a factor the undiagnosed BPD was on the collapse of our marriage. I'm not willing to blame the failed marriage entirely on the BPD so it's been brutal trying to sort through this. One of the medications they put her on (Lamictal) she had a severe reaction to and they had to take her off of it. The kicker is she felt it was doing her good. Good luck BHN, I can relate to the fatigue regarding the manic episodes. At least now I know there's some rational explanation.

[mopinko]

16. so, she is not still in chicago?

sounds like she is back home with you. hang on to your hat, honey. this is a river of murk and muck.
be patient with the meds. one thing that got my kid in trouble was constantly upping the dose, when you really need to crank it up slowly. they will insist on cranking it up until they get some reaction. they do not like to give up on a med till they are sure it isn't gonna work. but many take weeks to have any effect. i know you feel very much in crisis mode, but it will be slow going.
here is my imitation of a broken record- sleep is the foundation of mood. if she is having trouble sleeping, make sure she gets something for that. afaik, there are not too many interactions with ambien, etc, and other drugs that will likely be tried. good sleep can make things better in a few days. bad sleep can make things terrible all on its own.
ditto other comments about antidepressants and young bpd's. mood stabilizers are a must. the best people that we saw started with depakote, period. a good cold water fish oil has been shown to help period, and help with effectiveness of meds.
getting her to take her meds, and admit that they work when they do, will be the hardest part. it is a bad clash for the adolescent invincible delusion.

feel free to pm me. so been there done that. happy to commiserate.

[BeHereNow]

18. Hi dearest Mopinko...

I brought her home at the end of last October.
There was no choice but to do so.
She was in a DEEP depression at that point.

Unfortunately, the worst part of it is I can't moniter and care for her
in the ways you suggest. She moved out of our house and I am at the
mercy of her manic phase at this point. Sometimes I can reach her on her
cell phone, and sometimes I just have to wonder if she is okay.

So far, she has stayed in communication, but I am fearful if we do not
reach some stability in her mood, she will take off.

She keeps talking about all these plans she has and is manic enough to
just act on them. She blew through $400.00 dollars in two days though,
so at least I know she doesn't have any money to buy a ticket
to who knows where. I think I am going have to freeze her
bank account and just give her small amounts of cash here and there.
Buy her groceries and deliver them so I know she is eating.

She received a prescription tonight and I told her I would
fill it and bring it to the house she was staying at so she could start
tonight. I came home, fed the fur people and called her
to tell her I was coming with the medication.

She informed me that she had been drinking and would
start tomorrow.

She hangs up on me before I can finish trying to arrange
a time tomorrow with her... it is always chaotic trying to
talk with her about anything.

So it goes and yes, it is murk and muck and has been since
September.

BHN

[mopinko]

19. can you afford a lawyer?

you need to get guardianship for her if you can. and make sure that you are protected, as well.
i guess it was a blessing that our battles began while mine was still a minor. even then it was tough. at 15, docs insisted on her confidentiality. i remember a near shouting match with the nurse in the waiting room of the pediatrician's office over results of a med level test. i was leaving town, leaving her with friends, and was not leaving until they told me if she was medicated or not. they were dear friends of both of us, i just wanted them to know what they were getting in to. oy.
but it will be extremely difficult for you to help her if you cannot get some authority. especially to talk to doctors.
even if she was living with you it would be hard. but boy, trying to keep an eye on this from a distance is really gonna suck. i know that whole cell phone story too well. mine ran up some HUGE bills on hers, but we just couldn't take it away. it was all we had to keep track of her. it is a real mark of her maturity at this point that she no longer has a voice mail message like some she had back then. like the one of her singing a little ditty that started out- fuck, fuck, fuck, a duck.
take care, sweetie. call if you need me.

[EFerrari]

20. What mo said.

Also, I was at the wrong end of my family member's psychosis until I learned a lot about what his meds did, how long they took to kick in, what the side effects were, when I could reasonably know they were wrong and so on. It didn't work at all for me to leave medicine to the medical community. In fact, the whole time I did that, our lives were completely out of control.

If you need anything, PM me.

:hug:

[mopinko]

21. all my experiences, all of them, every one of them,

tell my that you just can't leave it up to the professionals. they are not in it. you are.