What should I do? Please, help if you can.

[Quakerfriend]

I come to this forum quite often to read and learn from all of you.

My mother was diagnosed as being unipolar at the age of 76. And, my youngest sister committed suicide 10 yrs ago when she was just 33, after years of struggling with 'depression'. She was an extraordinarily beautiful person, inside and out, and so very loved. Everyone always enjoyed her company but, she just could not see it. From what I have learned from all of you, I now believe that she, in fact, suffered with bipolar II which was misdiagnosed as depression.

I come from a very large family, so I often read your posts hoping to expand my understanding of this disorder and other mental health issues- for myself, for my sisters and for my nieces and nephews. It has been most helpful to read your first hand experiences. I cannot thank you all enough for sharing.

I have recently become friendly with one of my boys teachers. We are the same age and have many interests in common. She is a very warm and caring person, very vibrant and fun to be with. When I first met her, she told me that she had been in a car accident and had suffered severe head trauma followed by brain surgery and a lengthy rehab, several yrs back. Shortly after the car accident she had been committed for psych help- diagnosed as acute bipolar ds as a result of the head injury suffered in the accident. She has never taken any meds and the doctors actually apologized to her because she never should have been admitted. She is refractory to all meds.

We talk on the phone almost daily. And, lately I noticed that she has seemed a bit manic, calling me up to see if I can come right over, telling me "I love you" etc.

Well, today I stopped by to see her and WOW. I spent 5 hrs with her and her husband at their house. She was in and out of laughing and crying, cursing and singing to loud music.
Constantly recounting abuses from her childhood (Her parents were very abusive emotionally). Fanatically referencing names and numbers and hypothesizing meaning to these random names, numbers and events. And, then more crying. At one point, she seemed to be gagging and had to run to the bathroom to throw up. At times she accused me of not really being her friend.
She sometimes yelled things, like "I love you JC!" She appeared to me to be pretty manic. Her husband told me that she had been like this for "the past two weeks".

I know that her D.O. had started her on Ativan 1 mg/day last week. This does not seem right to me. What do you all think?? Any ideas would be most appreciated. I so want to help her, if I can.

Thx!
;-)

[mopinko]

1. welcome to the forum

so glad to hear from a lurker.

afaik, which others may have a better handle on, brain injuries do not usually respond very well to medication. but i know that there are several that are prescribed, and may help. but i think that the typical psych drugs tend not to work so well. the anticonvulsants, which are often helpful to bps might work better. did she start the ativan after this started? or before? these drugs take a long time to grab hold, and not infrequently cause things to get worse.and really, it is a game of roulette. i know that there has been some research into using eeg's to help determine which drugs would work best, but think this is not really being used yet. it will certainly be a boon if it pans out. as it is, it is just guess and try it. and since they all tend to take time, it can really drag on. into years, even.
but- as much trouble as it might cause, this woman should not be in the classroom. that is part of a larger picture of her understanding that she is having problems, whatever the dx is. it is really hard for a brain that is not working right to understand that it is not working right. med compliance is also a part of that. it is like an escher staircase.
does she have a therapist? sounds like she really needs some professional help. you and hubby have your work cut out for you. this first step of getting started in treatment is, by far, the hardest part.
:hug: to all concerned. hope others will chime in with more experience.

[Quakerfriend]

2. Hey, mopinko! Thx for your response.

And, what an accurate analogy 'an escher staircase'!

Well, in my haste to post I forgot to mention some key aspects of what is going on for her.
Twenty yrs ago she and her wonderful husband adopted two beautiful girls and soon learned that their oldest (whom they adopted at age four from a Romanian orphanage) suffered from schizophrenia and RAD.

As you can imagine, they went thru many yrs of trials and tribulations loving and caring for this child. As she grew older they feared for their lives and often slept with their bedroom door locked. And, after she attacked her mother (my friend) and tried to push her down the stairs they sought a protective order from abuse from the police. They have not spoken to her since.

My friend told me that her doctor (a D.O.) diagnosed her with PTSD, from the combination of her abusive childhood and 'losing' her adoptive daughter.

I think she needs to see a psychiatrist. But, she really likes this D.O.
After spending some time with her I see that she is quite manic right now.
I really don't think she'd listen to a thing I would say to her right now.

I will let her know about the research being done with eeg's. This may help.

Thx again, mopinko!
:hug:

[mopinko]

3. where are you?

big city, small city? any big universities near you? a do is just not what she needs. it is enough of a shot in the dark to find the right meds. pcp's are not likely to have what it takes to get her functioning again. it can be a roller coaster. staying on, now that is another thing.
fingers crossed.

[Quakerfriend]

4. Unfortunately, her husband had to have her committed.

She is calling me and frantically leaving messages asking that I find her lawyer.

Right now, I think it's better that I don't answer the phone. :cry:

I know that she's now in a good hospital where she can get some help.

Please, pray for her that she can find some relief and a calm place. And, for her husband and daughter, too. Thx!

[EFerrari]

5. I would never leave anyone I know in the hands of hospital staff.

Ever.

fwiw

:hug:

[mopinko]

6. i know how you feel. i try not to, also.

but there are the realities of life, also. she sounds like she may be there for a while. can you stay with someone for days and weeks? i wouldn't be able to.
i had to have my daughter admitted at one time, and it would not really have helped things for me to be there. i was already exhausted. i really can't even imagine the onslaught of delusions that i would have been subject to. we visited her daily, which was tough, as she was an hour away. it was only for 10 days, plus a couple weeks in a day program. that turned life upside down. i could not have handled any more.
i hear you tho, beth. it is hard.

[EFerrari]

8. It's always a negotiation, that's for damn sure.

You learn what "the stress of a hospitalization" really means. I know.

[mopinko]

7. let us know how it goes.

hope that it turns out well for her. hope that you can let her hubby know that he is doing everything that he can, and not to feel guilty. poor dears, both. :hug:

[BeHereNow]

9. It's good that she is in the hospital. Mania can be dangerous.

My daughter had a manic episode this year before she was
diagnosed. It was terrifying to watch.
I was constantly afraid that she would end up dead
or seriously hurt.

During manic episodes, the BP individual has no
sense of danger and often engages in extremely
dangerous risk taking.

She is safer in the hospital if she is manic, which
for what you describe, sounds so.

I recently came across this author and web site-
I HIGHLY recommend it to any one affected
with BPD or those who love them.

http://www.electroboy.com

BHN