one year, ago yesterday, my son hung himself

[easttexaslefty]

And much to my amazement,I am still alive.In a moment of panic he made a rash decision. One that will haunt me all the days of my life.I think of him every second, every moment, every hour and everyday of my life.
Yesterday we did a balloon release. We had 50 balloons that we tied messages on to. We told him we loved him and missed him and that we hope he is at peace.The balloons floated off together, and we watched them until they were no longer in sight.I tried to remember his often joyful life and not the terrible end.I am lucky to have such a sweet, gentle soul as my son.I am grateful for the 33 years he was with me.
So much needs to be done, regarding suicide. It is much more common than people think, Do this grieving mother a favor and check out www.afsp.org . Learn the signs and what you can do. Contribute what you can to community walks, such as, OUT OF THE DARKNESS COMMUNITY WALKS www.outofthedarkness.org . Walk with us and give us your support.Please remember that suicide is not the answer and chose life.

[Droopy]

1. Thanks for posting here, etl

There are probably some people here who understand what your son was feeling; some who have felt that way in the past and probably some who feel that way now. It's important for all of us to see posts like yours, but especially important for those who are currently at the edge of the abyss, staring down, and contemplating the release, the end of all the pain.

Most people don't understand how someone could hurt so badly in their mind that they want to die. For everybody who does understand, it is our job to make others understand. When your brain is on fire or drowning, to go on living seems pointless. Every waking moment in pain.

I'm sorry about your son, etl. I hope you are able to find peace of mind. I know he'd want it for you.

[UndertheOcean]

2. sorry for your loss

:(

[otherlander]

3. I am so sorry, easttexaslefty.

:(

:hug:

And thank you for the links.

[mdmc]

4. I am very sorry for your loss

and will check out these links.