"How badly have you been hurt by men redqueen?

[redqueen]

Cause really that is what this is all about, isnt it?"

I can't explain how much getting that response here hurt... for many reasons.

Firstly, because they don't even care. They're just trying to score a point in a discussion... but specifically an unfounded point, so it's just stupid. But it's also so very hurtful.

Please, if you read this, don't ever ask that kind of question of anyone for that reason. It forces the target of it to remember very painful things. Or it might not, but it could. For some, the 'pain' is from things like having been dumped or lied to by a former partner. :eyes:

Anyway... if you're asking it because you sincerely care, and want to help... that's one thing.

But this... this is just wrong.

[mopinko]

1. got a link to that, sweetie?

i'll go kick their ass.

:hug: try to remember that the internets are a magnet for people with a lot of issues. someone who says that likely has a bag of shit they are carrying around that they are deflecting on you. the appropriate reaction is pity. can't get there without the asbestos underwear, but....

sometimes this place makes us all a little nuts. my ignore lists just keeps on growing.

[Forkboy]

2. While I think there's truth to the idea that past hurts influence us down the line...

..it's a pretty low tactic to use against someone in a debate. I know mine are affecting me a great deal still, and they're one of the main reasons I avoid any emotional investment with other people now. But, having said that, my past emotional pain doesn't make me respect women any less. Shit happens.

It also makes one wonder who hurt the person who said that to you, and is it affecting THEIR actions and thoughts. I wonder if that person realizes how easily that question can be turned around.

Sorry you got to deal with that shit. :hug:

[david13]

3. Sometimes it also is just misinterpretation of the words, and

how people use words and sentences to mean different things. This also may be, "look for the simplest answer", which may or may not be right.
It reminds me of a friend I used to have, with very good intentions, but whenever I mentioned bad business and all, he would cluck "ach, you ought to advertise in the L A Times".
It used to rankle the daylights out of me as that would be totally useless.
But his intentions were good. He was one of the truly loyal friends I ever had. But the way he would word things could drive me up a wall.
For the forums you have to have a thick skin. You will get a lot of good responses, but also some way off the mark. And just some dirty profanity (particularly here on DU).
Separate the chaff from the wheat.
It is almost like a freudian prejudice. Oh, it all relates back to sex! No it does not, the human is far far more complex than that.
So keep the faith. Faith in yourself.
dc

[EFerrari]

4. Yes, that is just wrong.

:hug:

[Odin2005]

5. Too many people are simply jerks.

:hug: