Odd situation ... input welcome

[Myrina]

... I'm being treated for depression and have had what I guess one would call 'mildly suicidal' thoughts last fall/winter.

I've gotten on meds, changed jobs and am seeing a therapist - for which I am grateful - and just heard that a former co-worker,
about 10 years younger than me and with a history of emotional and health-related problems, committed suicide this morning.

Has this happened to anyone else?

I'm deeply saddened, my heart goes out to his 2 young children, and in some ways I feel a little guilty because "there but for the grace of God go I" ... or "... if I can work it through, anyone can, I wish he could have known that" ...

Do these feelings/reactions make sense to anyone? :( I just don't know what to think/how to feel right now.

[elleng]

1. I suffer from depression, and take meds.

Whats yours is yours, what was his was his.

Please take care of yourself, and be happy you've got a therapist you like.

:)

[mopinko]

2. a suicide close to you will shake you up no matter your situation.

an acquaintance of mine died suddenly, and when i heard about it i was stunned. all that it said in the notice on his webpage was that he had died suddenly. i had to call the family, as we had some unfinished business. when the father in law described the funeral, how everyone in town had come out, and how much they all reached out to the family, i knew right away that he had committed suicide. everyone feels guilty. everyone wonders. everyone wants to understand. it's the nature of the beast.

[Tobin S.]

3. It can be worse, Myrina

That's one thing I learned about my decade in hell. It can always get worse. Just when you think you've seen it all and things can't possibly get any more painful- they do.

Fortunately for me and you, and a lot of people, we know things can also get better.

[david13]

4. Yes.

I know the situation. I have been thinking lately about one, ten years ago, who jumped off a high cliff.
He had only minor problems compared to me, but I guess he saw it as the end of his world.
There is a tendency to imitate that behavior. But on the other hand we must learn, or try to learn from it.
To keep on trying, to accept less, to accommodate, to think of solutions, etc.
I say that for you, but I also have to say it for myself. Yesterday I was at what I might call suicide island, small island with extremely high cliffs. It seems like gravity just wants to pull the human body off the cliff. But I wanted to get close to the edge to see the view.
I understand that if I did fall off, or jump off the cliff, they would send a bill for the helicopter for corpse pick up to my relatives.
That would be $25,000 or more, so I would really be adding insult to injury there.
So anyway, don't imitate the behavior, but try to learn and grow from the lesson of it.
dc

[mdmc]

5. I remember at the height of my depression, a hs buddy killed himself

As near as I can tell, he seemed not to like the fact that his wife made more money then him. His wife may have been complaining that he drank too much. But that seemed to be the extent of his problems.
I was living in this absolute hell, and he had it good and killed himself.
I guess things were too bad for him to go on.
Things definitely got better for me.