If you are a true loner, would you really join a group? ....

[MsConduct]

I'm a loner and I sure wouldn't! Maybe this should be a forum and not a 'group'. Just MHO of course.

[DemExpat]

1. A group for loners sounds funny....

but personally I am member of a few groups where participation is on a free basis, or where my time expected is short and sweet...like my volunteer work at a library and with old folks.

I went on a group trip to Rome a couple of years ago and was really apprehensive if I would like the group happening for 10 days straight.
It turned out to be one of my most enjoyable and interesting vacations.....
As long as I have a room with the option to retire to it when I've had enough, I am absolutely fine. :-)

A group like this to talk about experiencing being a loner by choice, preference, or by fate (or all three) seems like a good idea to me.

It probably won't get the post count of some other groups here :wow:, but we'll see how it develops....or not...:-)

:hi:

DemEx

[MsConduct]

3. Thanks for you input. I'm a loner by choice. I have plenty of dear

old friends who understand this about me. The funny thing is, most of those friends are just the opposite, they can't stand being alone!

[Nadienne]

5. My friends, too, are just the opposite.

My boyfriend is the same way as me, to an extent. I need more alone time than he does. Alone time for him seems to include me. My alone time doesn't include him... Maybe it will, some day.

[MsConduct]

7. I guess that just proves that old adage...

that opposites attract. That is too funny that your boyfriend's
'alone' time includes you. I hope it works out you the way you want it to.

:-)

[DemExpat]

9. I think that my hubby has finally learned, after 20-plus years,

that my preference for being alone a great deal of my time is not because I can't stand him! :hug:

:D

DemEx

[MsConduct]

12. LOL At least he hung in long enough to realize it, huh?

I am a loner who married a loner. Needless to it didn't work out. I think the difference was, I'm a loner with friends he is just a loner, period. Both of my kids are loners, with friends.

[DemExpat]

8. My closest friends also understand and accept this about me.

In my family, my son is the only one like me - my daughter and husband always want people around - the more, the merrier...

:D

DemEx

[bemildred]

2. It's a relative thing.

Loner's don't hate company, but they are more likely to see it as
and interruption to what they are doing, whereas non-loners see company
as being what they are doing.

Having a loners group is nice. it makes it sound more normal to be
a loner, if you have a group for them. Like having a place for GLBT
people.

[MsConduct]

4. Good definition, good points, thanks! n/t

[DemExpat]

10. I really like the points you made as well here....

:thumbsup:

DemEx

[Lorien]

6. I think DU is a loners group

I mean, come on-how can someone with over 20,000 posts (as many regulars have here) have ANY kind of life in the "real" world?

[DemExpat]

11. Lol....

Moderating on DU can be used as an excuse for being a loner here...got to tend to duties, you know....:D

DemEx

[MsConduct]

13. I second that LOL. And you just may be right. n/t

[kaitykaity]

15. Love that cat.

My sentiments exactly.

:evilgrin:

[Freebird12004]

28. lol - my computer has become one of my best friends

I've met some really nice people on-line and I'm sure I would like some of them in person.

But I can count my real-life friends on one hand :eyes: with fingers left over.

[Skittles]

14. yes

a lot of us folk who don't get close to people in real life find comfort in online groups - there's that inherent distance we seem to need.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

16. GOOD point.

I am close to my family, and I have about three friends in real life. That's all I want. It's all I need.

I get a lot out of my online friendships - I maintain personal space and autonomy, but I still get to exchange ideas and warm feelings.

[Skittles]

19. yes

you'll hear stuff about online relationships being valueless and it is sheer nonsense - see, this IS human contact, you are corresponding WITH A HUMAN. It does serve a purpose, especially to those of us who are overwhelmed in real life by members of the human race. When my brother passed away three weeks ago, it was DUers who came to my rescue; in my darkest hour they were there for me and it was enough - I would have been overwhelmed by touchy-feely friends. Like you, I have few people I consider real friends and I like it that way; that's the way I am.

[DemExpat]

21. That is what I tell my family.....these are REAL PEOPLE

we are exchanging thoughts, ideas and feelings with.

It is a new and different form of communication, but it still is communication.

:hi:

DemEx

[Skittles]

23. two days before Thanksgiving

I received a horrific phone call from my mum, screaming she had found my brother dead in his house (he died from the effects of alcoholism). I had no one to call, all my friends were either out of town for the week or enroute from work in the metroplex. I posted a desperate plea on the DU and received over 100 responses in a very short time, eventually over 350 replies. Plus dozens of PMs offering condolences, assistance, advice. I read through that thread many times over the next few days for comfort. DU was there for me in my darkest hour and I will always be greatful.

[DemExpat]

24. Yes, I remember that thread.....

:hug:

My family laugh at me (sweetly) here on DU, but I really do have some form of contact here that I enjoy and that is satisfying to my soul.

My fmaily now is off to bed, so I'm back for a check at DU on Christmas Eve...

:hi:

DemEx

[Skittles]

25. you have a good one sweetie

:hi: bye

[MsConduct]

17. I've never thought of it that way. Maybe because I'm fairly new

to the 'board' life. I came here to see how the Lib's really think and to see if we all thought pretty much the same way. I found out that we do and we don't...LOL

[Skittles]

18. stick around, MsConduct

you will see DU can be very valuable to you

[MsConduct]

20. Thanks Skittles, I think I will...so far, so good. LOL n/t

[Fleurs du Mal]

22. "At a distance", sure

;-)

[NotNInch]

26. A Loner's Group Sound Kinda Safe and Non-Threatening.

No commitments, no strings attached. A refreshing change from all of the media hype to match-up and pair-up. There is so much more to human experience and interaction than matching and pairing up.

I noticed another post suggesting that we form a singles group. Not on your life. The thought just makes me tired, very tired.

I appreciated one of the posts I read that talked about volunteering and community involvement, but enjoying the pleasure of escaping to ones own space for peace, quiet, reflection, and replenishment.

The loner's group can reinforce our knowledge that we're ok in spite of the negative messages we receive from outside our cocoon.

I don't know about you, but I am staying in here where it's safe. Just peeking out to say Hi and . . . . what does MHO mean?

[MsConduct]

27. Welcome to DU NotNInch! You're right, a Loner's Group could

be safe and non-threatening. I never thought of it that way. Probably because I enjoy being a 'loner'. MHO=my humble opinion.

[GOPFighter]

29. I'm a loner because I'm selfish

I'm selfish of my time. Ever since I can remember, I've always wanted to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I don't mind being around people - as long as it's on my terms. I found that the more friends you have, the more obligations you end up with, and the less control you have of your life.

I guess thats the beauty of DU, I log in and post when I want to. I can log off and leave anytime I want.

I am not proud of myself for being so selfish, but that's the way I am.