It's no wonder I'm alone

[TrogL]

I joined a choir (for among other reasons) to meet new people. At yesterday's rehearsal, pretty much everybody was chatting with somebody else. I was curled up in a corner reading a book.

The mere hought of sitting at a table with a couple of women just about triggered a panic attack.

[mcscajun]

1. Next time, leave the book at home, and Force yourself

to introduce yourself to someone...doesn't have to be a woman.

Good luck. :)

[hippiechick]

2. I do the same thing, reflexively.

If it's something you're trying to overcome, then it will take time and a concerted effort to leave the crutches at home and force yourself to mingle.

If you're ok with it (being in the loner's forum after all), then you'll come to point where you'll probably have to reconcile your loneliness with the fact that you're a loner (I know that doesn't make sense, but it's where I'm at, at present. Lonely as hell, but don't like or encourage interaction with other people. It's a painful Catch 22) and make a decision.


:hi: Good luck !!!

[kitkatrose]

3. I don't know. I always thought that

being a loner meant that you were content being by yourself. Not that you don't occassionally feel lonely, but overall it's not a bothersome thing. Because, that's how I am (except for the sporadic twinge); I get my daily quota of other-people time by going to class, walking around the city, things like that. Maybe it's a thing of youth (I'm 20)? :shrug:

[Hello_Kitty]

4. Well, yes and no

I attribute my loner-ness not so much to a lack of desire for company, but more to the difficulty of finding the right kind of company. I'd love nothing more than to have a close circle of like-minded friends with whom to enjoy good conversations and fun outings. However, I'm just not comfortable around most people, finding them boring, insipid, and shallow. I know that sounds harsh but let's face it, it's true. I am fortunate to have a best friend who is like a sister to me.

Thus, I've adapted to it by becoming adept entertaining myself and I was already a self-contained full-blown loner by the time I was your age.

So while I am generally content to be by myself, I do long for interaction at times. Just not the kind that saps my energy. Sadly, being alone is usually the lesser of the two evils.

[kitkatrose]

5. We seem to be similar.

My opinion of people my age, at least, since that's who I'm around most of the time, isn't very high. So far, I don't have that one friend, but I have my mother who is like an older version of me and a boyfriend who understands my little quirks. If I didn't have her, I'd be half crazy by now.


So while I am generally content to be by myself, I do long for interaction at times. Just not the kind that saps my energy. Sadly, being alone is usually the lesser of the two evils.

Truer words were never spoken. I do find that my need for interaction from like minded individuals has decreased from high school, thankfully.