New elements added to the Periodic Table

[UrbScotty]

Limbaughium - Lb
The heaviest known element. It possesses an ever-expanding mass. Very white. Acidic. Emits heat but no light. Instantly polarizes all elements that come in contact with it. Repels protons and electrons; attracts only morons.

Billclintium - Bc
With a slick appearance and slimy texture, this element undergoes a series of interesting changes when in hot water.

Canadium - Eh
Similar to Americium, but a little denser. Much more rigid. Often called Boron.

Innofensium - Pc
Precisely equal numbers of electrons, protons, neutrons, leptons, quarks. Completely inert, utterly useless, but smells like a rose.

Newtium - Nw
Extreme irritant. Carries a strong negative charge. Does not possess magnetic properties. Can be purchased cheaply.

Quaylium - Vp
Einsteinium it ain't.

Budweisium - Ps
Has no taste or smell; is often indistinguishable from water.

Cabmium - Cb
Found in abundance, except when needed. Exists in two states, in motion and at rest. When in motion, it cannot be stopped, no matter what you do. Cabmium has a charge associated with it. The charge is variable, and scientists have not determined the formula for calculating it.

Politicium - Po
Contains a great deal of gas. Similar to radon in that it can reach lethal concentrations in the House.

Congress - Cg
Atomic number 535. Can never be found in a solution.

Snot Sn
Bonds forever with corduroy.