applegrove
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Fri Dec-30-05 04:54 PM
Original message |
|
Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following: > Thank you for calling heaven.
--> For English press 1 --> For Spanish press 2
--> For French press 3 --> For all other languages, press 4
Please select one of the following options:
--> Press 1 for requests
--> Press 2 for thanks - giving
--> Press 3 for complaints
--> Press 4 for all others
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
--> God, press 1 --> Jesus, press 2 --> Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3:16.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please
wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and
call again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your
local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.
|
Lydia Leftcoast
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Dec-31-05 12:10 AM
Response to Original message |
| 1. "I'm sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners..." |
RevCheesehead
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Dec-31-05 12:14 AM
Response to Original message |
| 2. How come I have to work extra hours? |
|
I mean, God's management... the lowly peon such as me should not have to do the grunt work, just because God wants some time off. It's not like s/he has to go watch Jesus play soccer or anything...
(If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.)
|
elshiva
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Dec-31-05 01:33 AM
Response to Original message |
applegrove
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Dec-31-05 02:39 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
| 4. Thanks. A Xtian friend sent it. I think it is cute too! |
elshiva
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Dec-31-05 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
applegrove
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Jan-02-06 12:44 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
| 6. Happy New Year to you too! |
DU
AdBot (1000+ posts) |
Sun Nov 16th 2025, 10:09 AM
Response to Original message |