A question about Travel Mercies

[HERVEPA]

Thanks for any help.

I am dating a woman who offered me travel mercies as the subject line of of an e-mail when I was going on a trip.

I am an atheist, and we have talked about religion some, but "Travel Mercies seems a little religious for my taste.

Can anyone offer her/his opinion on this?

Thanks

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Seems like she cares about you and wants you to be safe.

I'd take it that way.

[HERVEPA]

2. Thanks Rabrrrrrr, but

yes, I know she cares about me, and wants me to be safe, but invoking some type of superior being wishes for me as the subject line of an e-mail when she knows I am totally an atheist feels a little uncomfortable, if you can understand that.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. If it creeps you out that much, then you need to stop seeing her. Or else converse with her.

This is not to say that you are wrong - your feelings are what they are, and your beliefs are what they are.

It is only to say that if you are creeped out by her offering "blessing" to you in a sign off, and "travel mercies" when you go somewhere, you will have problems in the future. As your relationship deepens, more of her religious belief will come out and more of your atheist belief will come out, eventually leading to destruction. Better to end it now, before your relationships utterly explodes while you plan the location and vows and nature of your wedding.

Or, learn to accept that she is who she is and accept her blessings and travel mercies for what they are, just as she (I assume) accepts that you don't offer her blessings or travel mercies.

OR, best solution: have a conversation. Let her know that you cannot tolerate her offering of religious anythings in your presence. If she's willing to do that (and she may very well be, not all religious people are unreasonable), you can also have a good relationship, so long as you are willing to let her be who she is, and she's willing to let you be who you are. You will also need to talk about raising children.


More than anything, what you need is a conversation with her to talk about this stuff - making assumptions, and not saying anything will never work. Healthy relationships begin with honest communication, especially about feelings.

You never know until you ask her.

[theredpen]

3. Read my answer here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7473877&mesg_id=7474268