Should we have a thread for Irish jokes...

[Longgrain]

clean ones if you know any, or sort of clean anyways...;-) (we don't want a Lounge style visit from Skinner now do we?)

Since us Irish know how to laugh with ourselfs...

Here's one James Joyce used to like to tell...

What's the shortest way to get from one end of Dublin to the other with out passing a pub?


Ya stop at every one!:7

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

1. Definitely, here's one I got from my cousin last weeK:

Mrs. O’Brien comes to visit her son Seamus for 3 days in Dublin where he is studying.

She finds out that her son lives with Vikki, a girl room mate. Mrs. O’Brien couldn't help but notice how pretty Seamus’ room-mate was.

She suspects of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Reading his Mum's thoughts, Seamus volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Vikki and I are just room-mates."

About a week later, Vikki came to Seamus saying "Ever since your mother left, I've not been able to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mam,

I'am not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house
And I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains
That it has been missing ever since you left.

Love,
Seamus

Several days later, Seamus received an email from his mum which read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Vikki
And I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed
She would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love Mam

Lesson of the day........
Don't Lie to Your Mother...especially if she is Irish.

:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[DemBones DemBones]

2. Ah, now, when I heard that one, it

was a bishop and his housekeeper who were missing the sugar bowl, and the third party (who visited and was asked about the sugar bowl) was a priest. It seems the bishop had been giving the priest a lot of grief about a lady friend he was said to have so the priest went to visit the bishop. . .

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

3. Here's another one for your pleasure. I got this one from my niece

in Ireland. She's not from Dublin but goes to university there:

A Southside Dubliner parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off.

More than a little distraught, the Southsider grabs his mobile and calls the Gardai. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the guard has a chance to ask any questions, the Southsider starts screaming hysterically:

"My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!"

After the Southsider finally finishes his rant, the guard shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Southsider's are," he says”. "You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life."

”How can you say such a thing at a time like this?", snaps the Southsider.

The guard replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you."

The Southsider looks down in absolute horror.........

"F?#KING HELL!!!!!!" he screams........ " My Rolex !!!!..."

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: