Husband is being served tonight

[SCDem]

I'm shaking in my boots thinking of what or how he is going to react. I tried to work with him and my attorney and I wrote out a very reasonable seperation agreement but my husband refused it saying that he didn't want to agree with it as example he wouldn't agree to letting me know in May as to which two weeks he wanted him in the summer because he might pick a week and it might be raining. So he wants me to guarantee good weather on his visitations or else they don't count?!?!?! Arrghhhh!

Anyways I'm really scared and hope he does not do anything drastic. I think he is finally seeing an attorney today (he doesn't know this is coming but it would work out good if he did stick with his appointment today so that on Monday he could call his attorney and so he wouldn't go bizerk).

It's my scheduled weekend and so I plan to be out and about trying to keep us busy this weekend so that just in case he does go bizerk we will be out of harms way.

Have any of you been in similar situations?

[hermetic]

1. How awful for you

Do you have a brother or uncle or even friends who could be with you throughout the weekend so that you don't have to be alone?
I do really wish you the best of luck.

[SCDem]

2. I survived the weekend but

had to deal with constant harassing phone calls yesterday and last night he came over to my house and threatened to sleep in his car in front of my house if I would not answer the door. I will be calling the cops if this happens again. And thank god he finally retained an attorney (3 months into this thing)so I can tell my attorney to call his attorney to tell him about this behavior and how it is unacceptable.

Scary stuff but I'm trying to keep in good spirits and limit my contact with him as much as possible which sometimes is absolutely impossible :(

[mrgorth]

3. SC,

Is he dragging his feet this whole time because he wants to work things out?

[SCDem]

4. Yes

but he doesn't understand. I can forgive him but things can not be a blank slate. For 4 years I put up with the most horrible crap there was but now that I am standing up for myself I am the bad guy. In all the "love" letters that he has sent me since we split he shows his continued behavior and playing victim.

[mrgorth]

5. Are there kids involved?

[SCDem]

6. Yes

one

[mrgorth]

7. Stupid question:

Have you tried counseling?

[SCDem]

8. Yes

It just will not work. He has manipulated me forever and I will not allow it anymore.

I say the best is to have as little contact for quite a while so that when we do need to have contact dealing with our child it will not be so stressful.

Calling me 7 times a day and threatening to sleep outside of my house is not healthy for anyone including my husband.

[mrgorth]

9. I take it you're already seperated then?

[Liberal Lassie]

10. I remember that creepy pit of the stomach feeling and don't want to go back there

BUT, I want out of my own marriage so bad it is literally killing me. I will sometime have to face that evening again too. Just imagine that you have a steel rod from your butt to the top of your head and that backbone will see you through it. I have needed that steel rod to deal with the abuse lately. I sure wish I could figure out this marriage stuff and get it right for once. I had one who was career military and I was eternally ALONE. I had another one who wouldn't work and now I have an abuser. What the hell? I guess I might as well just give up and learn to live alone. Shit.