My husband just left.

[inanna]

I'm pretty much in shock. Not as angry as I thought I'd be, or as upset. But I'm sure that will come in time.

Just trying to absorb everything. I have to move back to my hometown. That'll be happening within a week. My daughter is devastated. I'm more concerned about her than myself right now.

Just needed to vent.

[mrgorth]

1. Very sorry to hear that

Care to expound? How far away is your hometown? How old is your daughter?

[inanna]

2. Thanks for your reply.

I don't live that far away from my hometown, about six hours. Actually, I guess there's a silver lining in this because we are a military family that previously lived three provinces away, and we relocated to our home province a year ago. Makes things a little easier I guess. Less $$ involved in moving.

My daughter is fourteen, soon to be fifteen. She's finding this incredibly difficult.

[porphyrian]

3. Sorry, and good luck.

Try to get situated before the shock wears off, it helps some. Surround yourself with people who care about you. Take care of yourself and your daughter.

[inanna]

4. This is *exactly* what I am trying to do!

I'm trying to get out of here (and back home) in a matter of DAYS. I just cannot stand being in this house any longer. Things are getting done though. I'm more or less just waiting for the cash and the U-Haul.

[chimpymustgo]

5. Good luck. This will be a time of great learning.

Learning how to do the things "he" used to take care of. Learning how to be alone. Learning who your friends are.
Learning who you are.

I hope you come out of this better, stronger, and much much happier.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

6. i'm sorry to hear about this.

i had a similar thing happen to me in early December, didn't really feel it until Christmas night. then it hit hard. do surround yourself with friends, and make sure to keep communication open with your daughter as she goes thru the phases of grief.

[inanna]

7. Update

Well, I am now back home with my family in my hometown staying at my father's house until mid-february, when I move into an apartment with my daughter.

The emotions seem to come in waves. One moment I'm functioning okay, the next moment I feel like screeching. I've known heartbreak before, but that was prior to my daughter being born. It is hard sometimes to be strong the way I need to be for her.

The other thing is that I can't sleep and I am eating very little. I've been forgetting to eat a lot, and then when I do I get nauseous.

I have had very little contact with my ex. Only two short phonecalls to discuss "business." I haven't SEEN him since he left.

It is very draining trying to explain the situation to all the relatives too. That is when the tears well up in my eyes and my voice starts to crack.

This all feels so strange....

[mrgorth]

8. I know exactly how you feel

These are the worst feelings I've ever had.

[villager]

10. yes, it comes in waves...

I thought of it as going in and out of orbits of grief, after my Ex bailed on our marriage...

And it was weird to explain it to people -- like announcing a death, really (which, in a certain sense, it was)

But you do actually get through it and there is another side. People said this to me over and over, and they were right...

Does it get "all better?" Well, had a quasi-heated conversation with the Ex about where we're sending our oldest to "middle school" -- but then again, it was less heated than the "conversations" we had while living under the same roof...

[leftofthedial]

9. good luck. I'm sorry for what you're going through

family can be a major help for you. take care of your daughter.

[arewenotdemo]

11. Don't forget to take good care of yourself, too.

[inanna]

12. Checking back in again!

Thanks guys for all the kind words. Well it has been four months now....wow has my life changed. Barely ever hear from my husband anymore, and when I do he is very cold and distant. We communicate (if you can call it that) through email only.

At first I was a friggin' basket case. I couldn't get it together, although that has changed now. I am doing much better. My doc told me I'd be over the "worst" of it in three to four months and he was right.

Now my focus is on rebuilding my life. Went back to work after years of being a stay-at-home-mom. And you know, I'm really enjoying it!

I'm in a new apartment and back in my hometown after years of being away. At first, I just could not appreciate the importance of that, but now I am really starting to see how great it is to be back home with my relatives and in familiar surroundings.

Just wanted to say thanks for the concern and support.

I hope others going through this dreadful experience will take a little comfort in knowing that with a little time things *will* get better. You can tell you are healing when you look back on how you felt at first and how you feel NOW. That is how you know you are getting better.

[mrgorth]

13. Good work

and God bless.

[faithnotgreed]

14. hey thats great

im happy for you and your daughter (hope she is doing well)

it really is a roller coaster but considering how devastating it CAN be you have a lot to be proud of
all best wishes to you and your family