I have a friend who has been newly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I keep trying to connect with her

[likesmountains 52]

for coffee or a visit but whenever we make plans she calls and tells me she doesn't feel good, is still in bed, and has taken a couple Lortabs. I feel like she is withering on the vine in front of my eyes. How can I help her? Thank you!

[2Design]

1. show up at her front door with goodies and drinks - n/t

[Warpy]

2. Excellent idea, but don't expect to be met with giggles

because she doesn't feel good and doesn't feel up to company.

Chronic pain and disability cause people to isolate themselves. That's what's happening to your friend.

Alcohol isn't a good idea if she's taking Lortab. I'd say show up with a joint, but that's illegal.

[likesmountains 52]

6. So, should I let her isolate herself or go over there and say "hey, get dressed..lets go get a

coffee and some fresh air on a park bench."? I just don't know if I should push her a bit or retreat.:dilemma:

[Warpy]

7. Why not just show up with food and eat it there?

She might not be up to going out. You could also find out what she's having a hard time doing around her place and give her some help.

Fibro wipes you out. Think about the last flu you had and think about what would happen if those body aches decided to become permanent. That's what fibro sufferers go through.

You can break into the isolation but don't make any demands on what little energy she has.

[likesmountains 52]

9. Thank you, I think I'm starting to "get it" now

[2Design]

8. bring stuff with you - isolating is a home thing - it is where you feel

safe - a cocoon - bring comfort food and a good movie - fun movie - chocolate - tacos - chicken - or something you know they like to eat - even when you isolate - you like someone caring - chicken soup - a coloring book or two and you both can color and talk about childhood memories of fun thing or not

[likesmountains 52]

10. Oh, I just love the coloring book idea...we're supposed to try getting together again tomorrow..

I'm going to do that..

[likesmountains 52]

5. Goodies...yes!

[mopinko]

3. maybe show up and offer to help her do some research

lortabs are not a good idea for long term treatment, imvho. there are meds now that are specifically approved for fibro and are helping many people.
are you in a small town, big city?

[likesmountains 52]

4. I guess kind of small...15,000 in town and about 35,000 in the county. But

we are the largest medical center in the area. She has a rheumatologist, physical therapist, psychiatrist, family practice MD..She has been trying a bunch of different medication combinations but not much progress. I don't know much about Fibromyalgia but I know that staying in bed day after day does not help anyone actually feel better...should I encourage her to get up and out? She does spend a lot of time on the computer..

[mopinko]

11. you can encourage her, but

exercise intolerance is a big part of fibro, and probably one of the biggest obstacles to having a decent life. so, encourage her to do something small, like take a walk around the block. getting out of the house feels good. but don't get too upset if she can't do it, or doesn't want to.

after almost 5 years of being treated with this and that, i am finally getting a sleep study. even knowing that i have fibro, the sleep doc is sure that i have something, apnea or something, that is fixable that is wrong with my sleep. try to get your friend a sleep study. sit and watch her sleep, even. seriously. is she snoring? is her breathing stopping and starting? are her legs twitching? this shit can be devastating, and can be fixed. my study is next thursday. you can rest assured that i will post the results. i find this whole subject fascinating.

[Louisiana1976]

12. I've been diagnosed with fibro and about 2 months ago had a

sleep study. After that I found out I've severe sleep apnea and now I sleep using a CPAP mask. My rheumatologist says sleeping better with the mask will help the fibro, but I haven't noticed any difference yet.

[mopinko]

13. update

my sleep study did show apnea, although not severe. the thing is, it is worse during rem sleep. that does not surprise me. i was sure they were going to find something that was interfering. i have been waking in the middle of dreams quite a bit lately.
so, thursday i go back to get set up with a cpap. can't wait. even if i keep the pain but lose the fog, i will be happy.

[likesmountains 52]

14. Glad you got some good news.

[ChicagoSuz219]

15. Call her at 4:00pm...

Late afternoons, early evenings usually work best for me. Ask her if she needs to run errands, wants to go for a quick bite, needs help picking up the house, with laundry, etc. Tell her you miss her.
If she still doesn't want to get together, call me... I need all those things... LOL