Anyone here caring for elderly parents?

[proReality]

Mine are currently living with me. One has the beginnings of dementia and the other is in the middle stage of Alzheimer's. Since neither of them can be left alone for more than a few minutes at a time, I can't leave the house to join a support group. It would be wonderful to have someone to compare notes with here.

[RazzleCat]

1. Hugs and support

I do not have your situation, however when my dad was terminal it was very difficult to find time for me with the daily visits and meds and clean ups etc. etc.. Have you looked into day care for your parents? I have read about programs specifically for persons in your situation, places where you can take your parents to and leave them for a few hours so you can get some me time. My SO's mom had to be placed in a home due to her dementia, she was no longer safe with out 24 hour care, and I do mean 24 hour as she has days of no recollection and would do things such as attempt to cook and catch objects on fire, drive, get lost and cause an accident, and of course the problems with personal hygiene. I know he is unhappy over the situation and both him and his sister do get out to see her at least once a month, but it was just not possible for either one of them to be around 24/7 to watch over her to avoid a serious accident. I can only give you hugs and wish you well with what has to be an extremely difficult situation your in.

[proReality]

2. Thanks for your support.

I have aides come in three times a week to help with bathing and could have respite, but my parents are both extremely private people and want no one around them but me and my husband. Neither of them feel comfortable with strangers coming into the house, and it's even more difficult for them to handle when they have to interact in public.

So, while they are both still somewhat aware of their surroundings, I feel I have to honor their wishes and let them have their privacy. Most of the time I'm very calm about this situation, but there are days when I find myself gritting my teeth and trying not to pull my hair out. Taking care of them is like raising my kids again, but this time with very large children who know I'm their child and feel they have to have the last word. It takes some fast talking, loads of patience and determination to get them to do what needs to be done. I'm getting through this by telling myself several times a day "I can do this. I can do this." So far I'm still sane...well, at least I'm no crazier than I was before they came to live with me. I think. <grin>

Thanks again for the support. And give your SO a hug from me, I know how heartbreaking it is to watch this horrid regression and know there is really nothing much that we can do.