So when did the term Stay At Home Mom become a slur?

[politicat]

I was reading a thread on another, fairly liberal board, and one of the posters took offense to someone else using the term SAH Mom to describe mothers with children out and about during working hours. Someone else took offense to the description of said mothers and got very huffy... but this person is an SAHM. Another SAHM backed the first one up, claiming that anyone who used the term who wasn't an SAHM was using it as a slur; that only SAHMs are allowed to use the term.

So... what am I missing here? Is this something I didn't get the memo on from Girl Talking 101? I thought the whole concept on being a SAHM was that it was something praiseworthy for those who want to live that life. (I don't, not wanting to be a mom at all.)

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

1. I thought the whole point

of the feminist movement was that we got to make choices. 30 years ago damned near all women were SAHM's. That was it. Now we've got women slamming other women for their choices. That's the memo I didn't get.

best

[politicat]

2. Yeah.

I really worry that we've forgotten what being a feminist really is about.

Sigh...

[shrike]

11. I think it's sad, myself

I have no kids, but it seems like women can be their own worst enemies: SAHMs slam the working moms, and working moms slam the SAHMs. Not in all cases, of course, but I've seen it happen.

[NashVegas]

3. Someone Must Have Been Having a Bad Day

I don't know what their problem with the phrase could possibly have been.

[LizMoonstar]

4. what are we supposed to call them then?

i'm confused.


not that that's anything new but.


for the record, no kidz here.

[EmmaP]

5. My take...

Not all find it to be derogatory. But for those who are offended when someone uses that term...they are only offended if the person using the term isn't one of them. At least that's been my experience.

[LizMoonstar]

6. so again, what term am i supposed to use to refer to them? nm

[EmmaP]

7. Did you ask them...

the ones who got all up in their nighties about it?

[LizMoonstar]

8. i don't know any, myself.

it wasn't me who ran into problems. i'm just asking for future reference. i don't like to indavertently offend - i prefer to choose when to offend deliberately ;P

[EmmaP]

9. Yeah

I can't think of any either. I'm guessing they would be just as offended, if not more so, if you referred to them as unemployed. :spray:

[politicat]

10. Actually... the last thing I wanted was to be the target of ire....

I know I shouldn't get my emotions out of whack by what obnoxious people say online, but you know, I have better things to worry about and if I get involved in one of those arguments, I'll end up mindfucking it to death. So better not to.

Besides, I'm not sure they could articulate their cheese-offed-ness.

[Ilsa]

12. I thought the whole point of SAHM was to not accuse us of not working.

I'm not offended at all. I'm a SAHM, I'm also a work at home mom. I run a very small business out of my living room. All of my work, whether as a nurse or mommy or housekeeper, has an economic value.

Some people are very sensitive.

[mzteris]

13. I tell people I'm a

SAHFM . . . stay-at-home-feminist-mom. . . that usually confuses 'em.

:rofl:

[Zookeeper]

14. That's great! Do you mind if I borrow that?

I'm a second wave Feminist who also has chosen to be a SAHM. MANY people have great difficulty wrapping their brains around that concept. And then there are the people I meet in social situations who sound SO disappointed and assume I must be incredibly boring. :eyes: