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[jadedconformist]

They say that your best creativity and inspiration for poetry, song writing, or simply writing come from those tragic, soul crushing moments in your life. Why then am I so speechless? Is it because I don't want to believe it? It is because if I don't hear myself say it, or see myself write it, then it probably isn't true? Do I not want to see it manifested in a more tangible form; revealed for myself to see when before it was simply lodged it in the farthest reaches within the coldest; most barren and secluded holdings within my soul?

Maybe it would appear to be more concrete if I saw it written down--like exhibit "A" for a jury of one. I don't want it to be real or true. I don't want to see it. There's no use, though. It's already written down. I didn't write it. You did. You've etched and branded it within me with such a fine sharp point that it could never be erased and I must read it and relive it everyday as I'm forced to carry it with me on my back wherever I go. You see, there's no better way to know how I feel than just to sit here and feel it.
I can't escape that. That's what I hate the most.