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[jadedconformist]

They say that your best creativity and inspiration for poetry, song writing, or simply writing come from those tragic, soul crushing moments in your life. Why then am I so speechless? Is it because I don't want to believe it? It is because if I don't hear myself say it, or see myself write it, then it probably isn't true? Do I not want to see it manifested in a more tangible form; revealed for myself to see when before it was simply lodged it in the farthest reaches within the coldest, most barren and secluded holdings within my soul?

Maybe it would appear to be more concrete if I saw it written down--like exhibit "A" for a jury of one. I don't want it to be real or true. I don't want to see it. There's no use, though. It's already written down. I didn't write it. You did. You've etched and branded it within me with such a fine sharp point that it could never be erased and I must read it and relive it everyday as I'm forced to carry it with me on my back wherever I go. You see, there's no better way to know how I feel than just to sit here and feel it.
I can't escape that. That's what I hate the most.