Well, my alcoholic GF pre-empted me

[Robb]

...so to speak.

She's essentially chosen drinking over me.

Quick background: new job, jet-setty, much partying, had already had disastrous results here. So far she's only drinking after the jobs are finished, but I know that won't last, or do any good as a plan.

She said she doesn't want to be accountable to anyone. Her daughter is now grown, and for the first time feels like she can go out and "have fun" without consequences... except for me. She feels guilty, and says she doesn't want to. She says I'm restricting her, which I did -- with the drinking, of course, nothing else. But I'm getting cut out of the picture.

Two years of heartache and scooping her up, with a lot of greatness in between horrible drunken episodes. I'm probably fooling myself in thinking that they were getting fewer and farther between... but now she just wants to go, and says she's made up her mind.

She's also decided on some character flaws of mine, and has convinced herself she's becoming too busy to be in a relationship with anyone. But I know the main deal. She even said she suspected I was getting close to telling her she would be gone the next time it happened. So she pre-empted that.

She said she hates coming home because of the guilt, and knows she's making me miserable, and doesn't want me to be miserable, that there's someone out there that can be the partner I need. And I'm sure she's right, I'm already getting friends telling me I should actually thank my lucky stars she's moving on. But of course that doesn't make it all hurt any less. :(

[NMDemDist2]

1. Robb, I'm sorry

:hug:

I know it hurts.

:hug:

perhaps some visits to Alanon would help, at least they are people there who understand what it's like that you can talk to about it

:hug:

[demosincebirth]

2. It could be a blessing in disguise for you.

Try and get on with your life and hope for the best for her.