"Rent" - Did I overreact?

[DemKR]

I just got done watching the movie "Rent" with two of my ex-friends. Literally, twenty minutes ago. When the movie was over, they turned on me. I have never been personally affected by addiction or recovery, but this movie highlighted the issues. I am hoping some of you saw it.

These two people are theater majors so the 'acting' is more important to them than the issues. They were laughing when people were suffering from AIDS and addiction and dying because they were 'bad actors.'

Did I overreact when I chastised them and almost burst into tears? They thought I was a lunatic. I do not think there is anything funny about addiction. Now I just lost two of whom I thought were my friends.

Such a sad night. Please provide insight.

Thanks.

[NMDemDist2]

1. calling people on bigotry and ignorance is never wrong

:hug:

[idgiehkt]

2. wow

I hope you really didn't lose them as friends...it just sounds like a huge misunderstanding. You felt what you felt and you were deeply moved by that play and that is not wrong. They are theatre majors and look at things through a different perspective, that of critiquing craft, and that isn't innately wrong either. If they are truly your friends then you should be able to work things out and explain why you were so emotional about it, and they should understand. I don't think you should judge yourself for how you feel, or how you react if you were that overwhelmed by your emotions. Sometimes you can't control that stuff; I can't sometimes because I am a very emotional person, especially when I have pms...watch out. If you do any harm to someone, like hurting their feelings when you are emotional like that then you can make an amend but I don't think you should have to judge yourself or end the friendships. Of course if they end the friendships from their end with no understanding of your feelings that just shows they aren't really friends that are supportive of you.

[DemKR]

3. Thanks for the comments,

I still cannot sleep because of this. I never had an addiction problem (thank goodness), but it still hit me personally because it's an issue that my extended family has experienced. I acknowledged that because of their theater background they think of the acting, and because of my political background I think of the "issues" but it still didn't stop them from pretty much hating me because of it.

This was a great night and it turned way sour.

[idgiehkt]

4. I'm sorry you didn't get the validation

that you sought. That is pain on top of pain. I've not seen Rent but as someone who came out at 23 I can understand both the AIDS theme in the play as well as the part on addiction since I got sober at that age as well. This may sound silly, but one of the ways I knew my last relationship was not meant to be was when my ex-girlfriend tried to get romantic with me during the movie "Beloved" (Oprah Winfrey's movie). I cried throughout that whole movie, it had a devastating impact on me, and being with someone who was so unmoved by it really shook me..., it was just obvious we weren't communicating on the same level. I've had the experience several times in the last few months of crashing headlong into the brick wall of other people's limitations, and it can be a really jarring experience. Hope that the night goes better and you get some sleep. :hug:

[DemKR]

5. I' msure I will

when I finally get the nerve to go to sleep! which I believe will happen soon. Getting tired. I just wish there was a way to fix this. I'm a pretty lonely person.

[Kajsa]

6. Yes, I saw it several months ago.

I was an art major many years ago, but I changed it
to English since I could convey in writing what I couldn't
in drawing/painting. There are several people in my family,
my mom included, who were artists.

The point is, I fully understand the artistic mind critiquing
a poem, a painting or a performance.

I too, was very moved by the actors in 'Rent'.
If I was moved and could very much relate to the addiction until death
crisis, then the performances must have some merit!

a. The performances in 'Rent' were good.
It would be interesting to see how your "friends" pull them off.

b. They were convincing enough to move you towards compassion and sorrow.
Laughing at those emotions, under any circumstance is tactless and cold.

Personally, I don't think you lost much if these two "friends" don't have more
understanding for your feelings.

Hang in there.

:hug:

[DemKR]

7. Yes, I loved the movie

It was very powerful and moved me. I just wish that others would udnerstand how I could react to this. This wasn't a "technical" critique that I gave.