I just need to say this here: stuff like what happened at VA Tech today

[KitchenWitch]

really fucks with my head.

:cry:

I know I need to do some steps on it, but man, I feel it all very intensely.

[NMDemDist2]

1. oh KW

your emotions are probably pretty close to the surface anyway with the news from your hubby

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

2. You are probably right!

I am really striving to be gentle with myself around all of this.

I have also been sick with pneumonia (was sick the entire time I was in Minnesota last week). So I am pretty tired.

I had to call the leader of my daughter's Daisy Scout troop today to tell her there was no way I could hold a meeting in my house this week (we had scheduled a meeting here a few weeks ago) because I am recuperating. I hated to do it, but damn, I really cannot sacrifice my health and welfare to hold the meeting this week (I have to clean the house - my husband is not the best at keeping things tidy and I just do not have the energy to do it right now).

[NMDemDist2]

3. you can give yourself permission to say No today

and you can give yourself permission to take care of yourself today.

:hug:

I wish there was more I could do than just give you cyber hugs, but know they are straight from my heart to yours

:pals:

Give me a call if I can do anything (even if it's only listen)

[FloridaJudy]

4. I feel awful about what happened in VA, too

But I know if I take a drink, I'll only feel better for a short while. Then I'll be puking...

And tomorrow when I wake up I'll be depressed and hung-over.

Didn't stop me from going through half a pint of Ben&Jerry's, though.

[Justpat]

5. This kind of event brings out all the "what's the use" feelings.

We are to guard against them as they are triggers for our actions.

We can express our horror at incomprehensible events without
drinking/using now.


Being sober doesn't mean you are empty and without feelings.
A sober person has access to a full range of emotions.
But we not longer use them to feed our addictions.


Major hug. :hug:

[wildeyed]

6. I know, I know.

After the 04 election, I really thought I was going to break down. I didn't want to drink, just wanted to make the feelings stop so I substituted obsessive cooking, posting on DU and exercise to try to stuff the feelings. Not good, but better than abusing alcohol.

The irony, the longer I am sober, the more intensely I feel. My life is no longer chaotic and depressing, so I guess I have more energy to be compassionate.

I really do believe that the willingness of one person to feel another's pain helps the person who is suffering. When I was just a little over one year sober, I had a very difficult personal situation come up. I was sharing about it elliptically in a large after work meeting that I didn't normally attend. When I glanced up as I was sharing, I saw a women I had never seen before and she was crying, too. That moment helped me so much, to know that a perfect stranger was willing to take on a just a little of my pain.

It speaks well of you that you are willing to feel these feelings and take on just a little of the world's pain. :hug:

[Kajsa]

7. Oh, KW and all of you, here,

Now I'm getting a much better idea of how and why
this has blown me out of the water.

That's besides the obvious shock and grief of this horrible tragedy.

Yeah, we do feel things more intensely.

I'm super sensitive, right now.

Like Old Broad and others stated,
that's OK- we just don't have to drink over it.

Kw, i don't know what happened with your hubby,
but I'm sorry you're going through it.

:hug:

[idgiehkt]

8. right now it is hitting me

Because they are talking about him having been called autistic as a child. So many of these labels they are bandying about cut very close to home, the "loner" with the "make-believe" world (common characteristics of high functioning autistics). Now they are analyzing his writings and saying he might have been sexually abused. Sigh. I think this was a preventable tragedy and that is what is most upsetting to me. I just am really feeling a lot of resistance toward hearing this stuff about this. I don't want to say much more, I just wish that they would be a little bit more careful about the labels they throw around.

[NMDemDist2]

9. ...

:hug: