It was friday morning, the check was deposited

[Roon]

but the liquor store was still closed. It's doesn't open until 9 so I went to the bar next door and had a couple of pitchers of beer. The liquor finally opened , I bought two boxes of wine and the next week became a blur. Apparently that first night i started throwing up massive amounts of blood and made a huge stinking mess. The next day I was still throwing up blood and started shitting blood and convulsing. My roommate got scared and called my Grandmother who in turn called 9-11. They hauled my ass to the hospital. I was in ICU for five days, have ulcers on my esophagus, a bleeding hole in my tummy,Pneumonia,and now I have diabetes.

They hade me tied down to the bed with a catheter and gave me a shot of Ativan every hour until I was well enough to be taken out of the restraints. I was told by a couple of nurses and doctors that I almost died, I am glad I didn't. I am home now, trying not to drink again. Funny after all that I just went through that I have to try.

[dsc]

1. I hope you are OK

I have been sober for seven and a half years and haven't missed booze for quite some time. But I must say I very much remember what it was like when I first quit. I literally dreamed I drank. You need to take care of yourself.

[Roon]

3. I know

I have HIV and that doesn't help much at all. I just need to stop and get a hobby.

[dsc]

5. both addiction and hiv have taken way too many of us

you are worth it man. Just keep on keeping on.

[Roon]

7. Thanks Dsc

One of my ex-boyfriends was found in a house with three cases of empty vodka, and two cases of full vodka. He had HIV, hep C, got fag bashed and got his liver bruised from being kicked and he kept on drinking until he died. He was only 36.

[varkam]

2. If I hit bottom on Tuesday

I'd of forgotten all about it come the weekend. Selective memory is a big thing with us addicts. We remember how good it was, but we forget the tears and the blood and the squad cars.

I'm glad to hear that you made it through what you did, friend. You might not be so lucky next time, and I know you know that. It doesn't matter what you did yesterday, as today can be anything you want it to be.

Take care :pals:

[Roon]

4. Thanks for the kind words, Varkam eom

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

6. esophacal bleeding or strokes is what kills most of us drunks

glad you dodged this bullet, but seriously if you're still thinking about drinking you need to get some more help of some kind ASAP

the first few weeks are the hardest so hang in there and get counseling or something to help get you the support you need

:hug:

glad you're still with us! please keep it that way, OK?

[Roon]

8. I am calling my shrink first thing Monday morning

The only problem is she is very anti-ant abuse and won't prescribe it. She wants me to go to group but group sucks for me because I am hearing impaired and can't hear what the others are saying.

[NMDemDist2]

9. grab a couple books then, maybe these?

[Roon]

10. Thanks!! I'll look into them! eom

[MediumBrownDog]

11. Allen Carr

Gotta say it. Changed my life. He puts it out there that any time --- EVEN ONE DRINK --- you're sliding down the slippery slope to death. Period. The man does not pull punches. There are many on this site that have had their lives saved by AA. I recommend that highly as well. But if you're not a "people person," this is a must have book. Go buy his book and the AA bible and keep them on your nightstand. That's how I did it. That and AZDem. She talked me off the roof. :)

Be well.

Much love.

MBD

[NMDemDist2]

12. I think you put this in the wrong spot MBD

but thanks, you're making me blush :blush:

so glad you popped in and are doing well! :hug:

[grasswire]

17. what's the bottom line on that EZ book, Az?

I assume you've read it.

[NMDemDist2]

18. I haven't, but folks who seem to have trouble with AA have reported

good results

I'm no AA nazi, whatever works is a good thing

:shrug:

edit to add, as far as I can figure, it's a cognitive therapy approach

[dsc]

13. Have you ever tried online groups

I know they are by no means a perfect substitute but they can work in a pinch. I also suggest you find a different therapist if only to see if this one's antipathy to anabuse is reasonable. Frankly, I can see why she might be afraid to give it to someone who has the problems you have been having. It could be a case of the cure being worse than the disease. I must say I am scared for you and hope you can find a meeting between now and then.

[Roon]

15. Thanks DSC

I'll look into it.

[Roon]

14. delete

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. thats what i was afraid of. not that you were drunk but that you were in hospital

:hugs:

[FloridaJudy]

19. Don't delay: go to an AA meeting ASAP

I'm not a "big book thumper". In fact I have some problems with the program, but they saved my life. It's almost impossible to make it through the first few months of sobriety without a lot of support, and AA will certainly give you that. If your therapist doesn't believe in Antabuse, ask her about naltrexone: it can ease the cravings and the physical symptoms of alcohol withdrawal.

One of my roommates in rehab had a serious hearing impairment, but she was able to tell people to slow down and speak more distinctly (not more loudly!), and she got a lot out of the meetings. On-line meetings are a good idea, but especially in the beginning face to face contact is more effective.

Good luck. :hug:

[wildeyed]

20. Please keep trying.

At first I could only do it for a day and sometimes for a few minutes at a time. The meetings worked for me. Something about seeing people face to face was good. Good luck Roon, we are pulling for you.

[Roon]

23. Thanks wild eye

I went to an AA meeting tonight and it really helps.

[wildeyed]

26. :-)

excellent!!!!

:woohoo:

[KitchenWitch]

21. Roon - wow!

I am so glad you survived all that. I can only echo the sentiments of the people here to get some books and get some support.

Alcohol is imho truly a beast with two backs.

:hug:

[Roon]

24. THanks KW

Out of all the things I could be addicted too, I am hooked on booze. I used to be addicted to working out and being in shape, but I lost all of that when my ex broke up with me. I just need to get back into the swing of things.

[Kajsa]

22. Roon, I'm so glad you made it.

Please get the books and support ASAP.

This disease is a bitch, a very smart and cunning bitch.

We need lots of help to get back on track with sobriety.

Please let us know how you are doing.

:hug:

[Roon]

25. Thanks kag

eom

[SPKrazy]

27. D00d!

there is a better way man...

hang in there

pm me if you need to

don't drink... that's very severe, i've known people that died from what you went through.

:hug: :hug: