"God save me from being angry.... "

[NMDemDist2]

"Though we may not like their symptoms and how they disturb us......We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. "


ok, thanks, had to get that off my chest.

It's not a fun day when a chronic slipper tells you to "Fuck off Bitch" in a loud voice so all in the hall can hear.

ahhhh newbies, what ya gonna do?

[Critters2]

1. This happened in a meeting?

Wow. Just wow.

Hope you're doing okay now.

[NMDemDist2]

2. I'm fine! i used the energy to clean house and cook a delicious meal

some are sicker then others yanno?

[Critters2]

3. Good for you!! Way to make it into a positive!

And yes, I've had reason to realize that some are sicker than others lately myself. "There but for the grace of God", as they say!!

[NMDemDist2]

4. anger is the dubious luxury of normal men, for the alcoholic it is poison

I vented here, read page 83 (just in case she called to apologize I could recommend that page) and then went on to other things.

I can choose to be 'right' or I can choose to be happy.

I choose happy :bounce:

[Kajsa]

5. Good for you, AZDem!

That's easier said than done, but it sure
makes for a lot more serenity and clarity of thought.

You did what you could- the newbie rejects it.
I hope he/she gets it- but many don't.

You ARE a great example of sobriety in action, AZ!

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

6. it had nothing to do with recovery, it had to do with the rules against

bringing dogs into the Alano club. as a Board member, it's my responsibility to remind people of the rules.

:shrug:

If I didn't :rofl: I'd be :banghead:

[Kajsa]

7. Oh, no!

I missed it by a mile.

:rofl: ( "assume nothing"- I hear my sponsor's voice now)

Hey- we got the rules for a reason.

No pooches and kitties in the meetings.

As much as we love those little critters, they gotta stay home!

Could you imagine if all the addicts/alkies brought their animal buddies
to meetings?

:rofl:

:D :pals:

[NMDemDist2]

8. 'xactly!! my big Bubba would LOVE going to meetings

but alas, I have to follow the rules :evilgrin:

[Justpat]

9. Talk about an opportunity for growth....

Yikes.

You did a good job modeling sober behavior to her. Some day she'll get
sober and when someone treats her that way - she'll know what to do.


:thumbsup:

[NMDemDist2]

10. she's a chronic retread

got a few years once, last time she drank she had a stroke (no doubt from withdrawals) now it's "poor me" all the time in spite of her excellent recovery from the stroke.

wouldn't want to have to live her head, HP bless her......

she picks one person to have a resentment at and this month it's my turn :shrug:

I fear the next time she drinks (and unless she starts doing something different a 'next time' is inevitable) she'll be dead.

it's horribly sad and a great lesson in how NOT to be......

There but by the Grace of God......

:hi:

[varkam]

11. I was once very emotionally involved with a woman who had Borderline Personality Disorder...

It was a heart-wrenching experience, and very hard on me personally. I found that I would give and give until I had nothing left for myself, my friends, family, school, or work. It was exhausting.

I came to understand the hard way that the most you can be is a lighthouse. You can try to steer the ships into the harbor safely, but you can't drag them in. In the end, it's their choice whether or not they want to run aground or not. You have to try to find the serenity to accept the things that you can't change.

Someone like that might not be ready for recovery. That's not to say that you give up on them. You try to be there for them and do what you can for them but, again, in the end the choice is theirs and theirs alone.

:pals:

[NMDemDist2]

12. you're preaching to the choir darling

I remember being about 2 years sober and asking a beloved old timer (who had spent hours on me in the early days) "How do you stand the heartbreak to watch people go in and out and sometimes die?"

he just shrugged and said "You just keep on trying, what else is there to do?"

I loved that man, he saved my life.

to this day I have written in my first BB on page 166 "Keep it Simple" and on page 168 "Easy Does It"
because one day at noon he 'suggested' I read those pages and tell him what I thought that evening.

I was quite confused as both pages are blank.

that evening he explained "You gotta take a break sometimes kid, first things first and always have some fun everyday"

did I mention I loved that old guy??

:hi:

[wildeyed]

13. lol, AZ, what did you say back?

I remember that very early in my sobriety, I was leading a meeting at the AA club where I first got sober. It was my first lead, and I felt like a deer in the headlights, you know, where you are trying to be really cool and appear more sober and saner than you really are? I remember this young guy I vaguely knew walked in with a guy from the shelter who was trying to get sober and started ranting at me that I was judging the guy from the shelter and I was a stuck-up, rich, stinkin' Republican! I remember thinking; stuck-up, ok. Rich, probably not by most standards. But don't *ever* call me a Republican!

[NMDemDist2]

14. i walked out after commenting loudly

"This program taught me the rules are for *everyone* including me."

I went back into town a couple days later and dropped in for the Step Study and had 5 or 6 people come up and tell me how bad they felt about how she treated me.

I'll see her again I'm sure (at least I hope... the Treasurer and I met up to go over the Club's taxes and he said he saw her that day a few minutes later storming out of the club) but I thought it was a safe bet she wouldn't be a ......


STEP STUDY!!!

:rofl:

heaven forbid you actually learn about the program :evilgrin:

[raccoon]

20. Good for you.

"This program taught me the rules are for *everyone* including me."

That's a keeper.

And the others should have backed you up.

I walked out of a meeting once, when someone was dissing protesters, and the chairman sat there like the cat got his tongue.

Nobody backed me up on that occasion, either.

[FloridaJudy]

15. "Consider the source"

Probably the best piece of advice my mother ever gave me. She'd say it whenever another kid - or adult - razzed me. Some people are always going to take their inner battles out on others: you just happened to be the most convenient target. The longer I stay sober, the more patience I seem to have for random acts of verbal hostility. I just give thanks I don't have that person's karma: what a miserable world it must be for them. This falls into the category of "things I cannot change". There are always going to be Jerks in the world, and some of them find their way into meetings. With luck, if they stick around, they'll learn to change their behavior.

Systematic brutality is something else again. I don't know if this is one of the things I can change, but I'm going to do my best. My sponsor has a message on her answering machine "Hi! I'm out changing the things I can. Leave a message". Her thing is fighting cruelty to animals. Mine is trying the change the political climate to be kinder to humans. I pray we both succeed.

[NMDemDist2]

16. indeed and I love that phone message

i try to do something every day to make the world better, be it pick up some trash, smile at another human or be kind to an animal

:hi:

[Critters2]

17. Hey! I had a similar experience Sunday night!

After a meeting, a guy comes up to me and starts SCREAMING that one's HP MUST BE GOD!! What had I done that called for such a reaction? I had affirmed the EA concept that "one's Higher Power can be God, the group, the program, nature, the Universe or any power greater that oneself". I had said in my share that I liked that EA welcomes believers and non-believers, because I know agnostics who struggle with these issues, and need a supportive place to find help. I appreciate the tolerance and kindness written into the EA literature. This guy was furious, and said he wasn't in the program to help "some hypothetical agnostic". I slowly backed away, and repeated several slogans in my head.

Nice to know I'm not the only one who's powerless over emotions!

[NMDemDist2]

18. hugs

poor thing (you and him LOL)

my 'problem child' was in the meeting today. she apologized at group level then left early so she wouldn't have to speak to me after

poor thing (her too)

:hug:

[Critters2]

19. Well, she's still got some amends to make, imo.

You're a good soul to be so patient with her.

I had a long talk with my sponsor about my Sunday night experience . It wasn't my usual meeting, but I was free on Sunday night, which I'm not usually, so I went. I told my sponsor I'd probably stick to my regular meeting in future, where I really feel at home. I asked if he thought I need to make amends, if I'm at fault, and he didn't think so. Reminded me that "People are in Emotions Anonymous because they have emotional problems. With people like us, these things are just going to happen from time to time." I had been telling myself that EA was just one more place where I don't fit in, but my sponsor assured me otherwise. Thank God for sponsors!!