I am an alcoholic.where do I start?

[w8liftinglady]

I want to quit.I'm tired of being drunk in front of my kids.I'm just tired.Can you point me in the right direction?

[KitchenWitch]

1. Hi, welcome to our quiet little corner of DU!

My first suggestion is to go to your phonebook (or you can find it online) and look up the local AA office phone number. They will be able to tell you where there are meetings in your local area, and steer you in the direction of the beginner's meetings etc. Next I would attend 3 or 4 different meetings and see if there is at least one you feel comfortable attending. When you go to the meeting, remember that we were all new once and that there is at least one person there that you share things in common with (pardon the awkward phrasing). If one meeting is not a good fit, try another. Get a phone list from the meeting and use it when you feel an urge to drink. And do not forget, you are not alone.

:hug:

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[w8liftinglady]

2. thank you

I don't feel quite so alone now :)

[Kajsa]

3. Welcome back, w8liftinglady!

it's great to see you here.

Get to as many different meetings as you can.

Get phone numbers, too!

:hi:

[vademocrat]

4. Welcome - you've already started - and you are not alone!

Saying "I am an alcoholic" is where it all begins. I agree with Kitchenwitch about meetings - contact your local intergroup.

You can choose to not drink just for today - no long term commitment, just today.

You are not alone!

:hug:

[Justpat]

5. Hello, w8liftinglady

Welcome to our A/R group. There is lots of good sobriety here.

I'd like to just echo the thoughts above about finding a meeting that you
feel comfortable in and start going.

Keep in touch here too and let us know how you are doing. We can do it a day at a time.

You have taken a good step in the right direction being willing to quit.
Being sick and tired of being sick and tired is a starting place for most of us.

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

6. you start by not drinking, a minute at a time then an hour, then an evening

you go through the shakes and the crazies but the day is over.

One day of not drinking

Then you do it again the next day. Just that day.

soon, you begin to feel better, look better, sleep better.

It doesn't happen right away, and some moments are agony that seem to last years, but you just don't drink. No matter what.

You go to AA, you pray to a God you may not believe in, you call people and beg for help, but you just don't drink. One day at a time.

And then the fog starts to clear, you begin to do the work to be healed. One day at a time.

And one day you wake up and realize it's been a week, a month, six months with out a drink. And life gets better.

Then better still.

but we all began the same way. Being sick and tired and terrified but willing to try, just for today, not to drink.

Pray, even though you don't believe and the prayers never worked before, and go sit in stuffy little rooms in churches and halls that stink of cigarette smoke and burnt coffee and listen. and let them love you and show you how they healed and just keep going back.

We did it, you can do it too.

One day at a time.

:hug:

I'm so glad you're here, hope you keep coming back and telling us how your day is going. Just today.

:grouphug:

[TrogL]

9. you pray to a God you may not believe in

Errr...that's not quite right.

You pray to a God as you understand Him...and that understanding can be as ordinary or whacked out as you need it to be.

And if prayer isn't working out, try meditation for awhile.

[NMDemDist2]

10. I can only share my experience

and that's how I did it.

"as we understood Him" came later

:shrug:

:hi:

[FloridaJudy]

18. Hell, I spent my first year praying to Mount Everest

I couldn't wrap my brain around the "God" thing (and still can't some days) but I could believe in a honking big mountain on the other side of the world that the locals called "Mother of the Sky". Whenever things got overwhelming, I'd hand them over to Everest/Sagarmatha/Chomolungma: She's a big mountain and She can take it, and I'm just a little human being.

Anything that awesome has got to have more than a little magic.

YMMV

[KitchenWitch]

19. I spent about the first year and a half bouncing from one HP to a different HP

Not only was I sobering up, but I was coming off some heavy duty fundy Christian stuff. I could not conceptualize a loving higher power, because the one I had been raised with in the Catholic church and the Fundy one was very punitive.

[FloridaJudy]

20. Yeah. That Old White Dude

On the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel scared the fertilizer out of me - still does as a matter of fact. Too much damage has been done in His (supposed) name, though I must admit a lot of good stuff has been done in it as well. Somewhere along the line I adopted Quan Yin - the Asian Goddess of Mercy - as my HP. I really liked the idea of an HP that was all forgiving, encouraging humans to live up to their highest ideals: I'd done quite enough beating up on myself and needed a little nurturing.

Do I really think God is a Little Old Chinese Lady? No, but if I've got to anthropomorphize the Spirit of love, hope and compassion, She's a good role model.

[NMDemDist2]

7. UPDATE:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3318251

[Kajsa]

8. Thanks, AZDem!

Wow- she has a lot on her plate right now.

Sending out positive vibes for her today
and for a speedy recovery.

:pals:

[1620rock]

11. Godspeed on both of your journeys Lady.

:hug:

[Stuart G]

12. Hello, you are in the right place..

Just keep coming back here, then try a meeting near you..that's it.

[Stuart G]

13. Oh, and another thing..do not give up on yourself..

You have just started on a great journey..

[w8liftinglady]

14. thank you all...6 days sober...my nerves are shot.

let me not drink today.I am staying busy making prayer beads for my patients.

[NMDemDist2]

15. the next couple days may be tough

don't expect to get much sleep, your skin might feel like it's trying to crawl off

just push it back a minute at a time, ask your Higher Power (whatever that is) for help

get to an AA meeting and sit there although it may feel impossible to sit still.

and sugar-- if you aren't diabetic eat sugar. Candy, ice cream, cakes

believe me it will help with the cravings and juice is good too, natural sugar and the vitamins will help too.

hang in there hon, you can do it.

call me if I can help.......

[w8liftinglady]

16. hehe...thanks-twizzlers and marshmallow fluff in hand as I type :)

and thank you.

[NMDemDist2]

17. thata girl!!

:hug:

it gets better usually around day 10-14 physically

mentally it'll take a bit more time but just today is all you need to worry about

:pals:

[Tab]

21. I don't post here much because it's my own hell that I go through

All I can say is try to reach out. I personally withdraw. If I bother to make phone calls, even if it's to talk about the weather, I'm making a connection and feel better.

The others here are right. And they're also right about AA groups. Not all are the same. Most of us have "favorites".

Personally I don't like tiny groups (under 15 people) or huge groups (over 50 or so). I like them "just so". Get in a group of 300 people and you'll never get a chance to speak if you need to.

Secondly, just some technical information about calling the AA 800 number:

- I don't know about large cities, but in smaller places usually an answering service will pick up.
- The answering service has a meeting list - what meetings where, and you can ask for your town or nearby towns.
- I think they will also connect you to someone else if you really need to talk to someone that moment, although I've not used that resource myself.
- When you go to a meeting, usually somewhere there is a little rack of pamphlets including a meeting schedule that says what meetings where and at what times.
- During a meeting they will pass a basket ("AA is self-supporting"). If you have a dollar, toss it in. If you can't, no one will pass judgment.

More key things:
There are a few different kinds of meetings. Some people go to any meeting, others gravitate to the ones they like the best. All meetings are "coded" (in the meeting listing) so you can see what kinds there are.

- Speaker/Discussion - my personal favorite, someone speaks for about 20 or so minutes, tells their story, and then opens up the meeting for comments.
- Big Book meetings - reading from a particular section in the "big book" and then discussing it.
- Step meetings - reading a step and then discussing it.

People who crave structure might gravitate to the step meetings. Personally I like the speaker meetings.

Some other variations you might find:
- Beginner's meetings
- Open meetings (open to anyone)
- Closed meetings (open only to alcoholics, not their partners or others)
- Men's meetings
- Woman's meetings

and so forth.

Most people pick a "home group", which is a meeting they find they tend to really like (like the 7 p.m. meeting at the whatever place). It's the right size of people, right amount of attitude, right amount of friendliness. You are always welcome to attend nearly ANY meeting (unless gender restricted) but people tend to have their home group and favorites.

If you attend a meeting and think it sucks, don't give up. First, see if it was a speaker or big book or step meeting. If so, maybe you don't care for that TYPE of meetings and try another one. If it was one you like (maybe speaker/discussion), give it another try. Maybe you just got a bad night. Not all meetings are perfect.

Finally, just consider finding another group. Not every group is for everyone. You can always learn things, but you do better in ones you are comfortable with. There's plenty to go around. One experience does not represent the other. Try differents, but go. See if you can find a budddy to go with too.

Good luck!

- Tab

[w8liftinglady]

23. Thank you-i fell off the wagon.

[KitchenWitch]

24. You can get back on

It is never too late!

[Critters2]

22. Welcome!! All of us in recovery can relate!

Hie thee to a meeting!!