I am so very afraid my

[laylah]

daughter, Kaghime, will see this. On the other hand, I am sick......so very sick. I am also scared, don't know what to do. Calling facilities for help...they are not happy with 80%,,,they want it all! Again...I am so very scared. I just want to be well!

[elleng]

1. What 'facilities?'

What insurance?

[NMDemDist2]

2. and what "all" ??

there is no way to kinda stop drinking any more than you can be a little pregnant

Once you're a pickle, there's no going back to being a cucumber

[laylah]

4. What an analogy!

:rofl: Yes, very true. Just add a bit of dill for me:P

"All" refers to doctors, recovery facilities, services that aren't happy just receiving the 80-90% my insurance would cover, they want it "all" as in every penny they can squeeze from a patient/client. As of now, I am not going to concern myself with that any longer, though. I am going to take care of me and will address the other when the time comes.

[NMDemDist2]

5. yeah, it's a good one, it cracked me up the first time I heard it and I could relate

as for you, best luck.

I got sober in AA and while I 'should' have been hospitalized, I wasn't. What I was, was done.

Done being addicted, done being out of control. I asked for help and received it from caring people who had been where I was and who had found a way out.

Medical science hasn't figured out how to keep a drunk from drinking yet that I've heard. But it will help for the first few weeks while you detox.

But please keep trying, we had a woman in our little group that came in and out, in and out. Until she drank herself into a coma last month and died.

Please don't be a statistic

:hug:

[laylah]

6. Thank you for

your kind response :hug: Appointment next Wednesday at 2pm, for "assessment". Will go packed and ready. What DOES suck most of all though, is the facility doesn't allow smoking so breaking two bad habits at one time is going to be quite the challenge. As if getting sober isn't challenging enough even when one wants to.

I have fought this demon for the better part of my adult life; however, I always was able to prevail. Unfortunately, that is not the case this time. I always swore I would not become a drunk. OOOOOPSIE! I will prevail once again, though, oh yes I will.

[NMDemDist2]

7. recognizing you need to take action is the first step

taking action is the healing

keep us posted ok? :pals:

[laylah]

8. Absolutely!

I left Colorado after almost 29 years, to come "home" to Illinois. First mistake. I call it my "menopausal moment". I have not bonded with anyone here in the past 6 years, very unusual for me. I guess it is a "feeling safe" thing. I had SUCH a network there and I threw it all away. In the meantime, thanks for caring. I WILL prevail! :hug:

[laylah]

3. Yes, insurance and

copays. Sorry for being so vague. I am beside myself. I have battled alcohol most of my life, usually coming out "on top". I have realized that is no longer the case. I am going to stop saying I cannot afford what the insurance won't cover and instead say, I will do what I can with the balance. My life is worth much more than $.

[elleng]

13. Yes, your life is worth much more than the 20%

Same amount as required under my u.s. govt employee policy and others, and I've never said 'I can't afford it,' tho I might have.

VERY happy to hear you're gonna do it!

[TrogL]

18. One nice thing about AA - it's free

I've met many people coming out of treatment programs saying that they were nice and all but they found their real sobriety within AA.

We are self-supporting through our own contributions. Note "we" and "our".

There are literally NO fees or dues for AA membership. You don't even have to "pay" for the coffee if you don't want to.

I'd rather you come to the meeting and not pay a dime if it keeps you sober. I can afford to throw in an extra buck or two to pay for your coffee and share of the (fairly minor) expense of keeping the meeting place open. I need you there to tell your story and keep me sober. That's the "we".

[Kajsa]

9. Laylah, you are doing the right thing.

It is scary, and it is uncertain for you right now,
but it will get better and it sure beats the
alternatives that face us out there.

I think Kagemine understands a lot more about our disease
than you realize. She's a very understanding, compassionate lady.

You get better- go out to the patios for a smoke, if you need to.

Let us know how you are doing, OK?

We care and we've been there.

:hug:

[laylah]

10. Kajsa...

:hug: I know my daughter understands more A LOT...she lived with it but not like this. I am so very scared. Appointment next Wednesday, packing for the "long haul". I hate me right now, supposing that is part of the process.

My girl is a very bright, compassionate, and discernative person (she learned well from her dad and I). I don't think she will be surprised, when I alter her next week, but what Mom wants to slam their kiddo with this?

:hug: Thank you so much! So very much!

that would be "alert" her

[Stuart G]

11. Please do not give up....take it one day at a time..or,

one minute at a time. We are here..:hug:

[laylah]

15. Thank you, Stuart G

And we for you also. :hug:

[Justpat]

12. We've all been there.

:hug:

We all do it one day at a time and you can too. Let us know how you are doing.

[laylah]

16. My kiddo calls me

"Tough Old Broad". It's nice to know I am in good company. :hug: Thanks for your response.

[SPKrazy]

14. Well Yayyy!!!!!

glad you are gonna do what you gotta do layla

know that you got friends here to support ya, and that you'll meet people in recovery that you might never have crossed paths with otherwise who will impact you in ways you never imagined.

Sobriety is a trip, and one well worth the effort!

Oh, and I imagine Kagehime to not be unaware of things at all. In fact, without even asking her or telling her that I saw this, and I won't, I know that she would/will be tickled to know that you are doing something about this.

I'm proud of you laylah, it's a hard step to take, its a hard thing to do. Just know that life on life's terms isn't always what we want, but its inevitably what we need.

:hug: :hug: :hug: for your journey, of which you will find me and others along the way here and elsewhere.

:loveya:

:)

[laylah]

17. I know how close you

two (you and my kiddo) are and have no doubt she has voiced concerns over time. I have battled this disease most of my life. Unfortunately, my lovely girls suffered for it. I was a good mom, but could have been better. In the meantime, thanks for your response. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

22. It's not just a response laylah

it's an I been there done that too

not with kiddos around at the time, but none of us live in a vacuum, we affect all who live around us and all who love and care for us.

I'm very glad that you are in a position to see a problem, that is a miracle in itself. I send nothing but good vibes and love to you my friend. Just because we are alike in our dis-ease, I'm SPK, and I'm an alcoholic and an addict

[KitchenWitch]

19. I am certain that kaghime will be supportive in you finding the help you need.

:hug:

We are all here for you.

[laylah]

20. Kitchy...you are a

HOOT! You never fail to make me laugh. That said, I spoke with my precious "dotter" a few minutes ago. Of course she knows, and has been waiting for her MaMa to take this turn. I am so grateful to you, and all other "family" DUers for their support of both me and that wonderful child of mine.

I so very scared. As I told her, my biggest concern is not the detox but the "nazi" protocol of no smoking. HEY! I know, smoking is bad; however, most alcoholics are smokers! For them to expect us to stop TWO bad habits at the same time is wrong...wrong, I tell ya!

On the other hand, that will not stop me. What a dear you are. Thanks for the encouraging words :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

21. most 'rehabs' don't allow smoking in the facility, but most have a

'smoking area' outside.......

don't make this demon too big in your head until you get all the facts...

:hug:

[laylah]

23. I have already been told...

NO smoking. Won't stop me but I do resent it. "Killing" two demons at one time? Not fair! :hug: Have a problem with authoritative stuff. No problem with no smoking in normal circumstances *sigh*

[KitchenWitch]

24. An alky that has problems with authority? NEVAH!

:rofl:

I still have problems with authority and I have been sober awhile.

You can do this.

:hug:

[laylah]

26. Thanks Kitchy...

I had problems with authority LONG before I became an alky. Somehow, I don't think sobriety will change that a whole lot, maybe just readjust it to a healthier level.

Thanks for your support. It means a lot. :hug:

[laylah]

25. self delete