please tell me you didn't get it perfect the first time

[w8liftinglady]

i am not sober,but so desperately want to be

[KitchenWitch]

1. I did not get sober the first time I tried.

Hell, I did not get sober even the tenth time I tried. I did keep trying and finally I stayed sober.

:hug:

[varkam]

2. The point isn't that you never fall down...

the point is that you get back up, at least that's my take on it. I've been an addict for much longer than I have been in recovery, and I have made many mistakes. Persistence, though, is the key. Keep at it. :pals:

[conscious evolution]

3. It took me a couple of tries

But i finally managed to get through.
Always remember that the first few months are the hardest.You are in a war between your mind and your body.Your mind may have said enough but your body knows something is missing and it will do whatever it takes to get it back.
It affects the same part of the brain that controls our drive for food and sex and it creates a physical desire that is just as powerful as the drive for food and sex.Fortunately,unlike the desire for food and sex,once we have detoxed alll the alcohol from our system,those physical cravings for alcohol goes away.
The detox process takes about 30-90 days.And then after that you have the mental part of the disease to deal with.That is where programs like AA come into play.They give you a means of getting rid of the mental aspect of the disease.

Its not easy by a long shot but it can be done.There are a lot of people here who have done it and are willing to help others get through it.
My advice is to listen to what they say.

[Kajsa]

4. Heck no!

I spent the greater part of a year getting sober.

It took me several tries to get it!

:pals:

[geiger]

5. it's very hard.

i am in a new treatment program and still go to meetings and see a counselor. today i have a lot of anxiety. hang in there.

[Stuart G]

6. Lots of reasons..But giving up control is...

probably the main one. You gotta let go, and most of us addicts don't want to. And this is often true of all of the 12 step programs..
We think that we alone, can control the outcome. We need all the help we can get, yet we don't want to give up and at least share the outcome with a power greater than ourselves...And being totally honest with ourselves is probably the only way that we can get there.

[Fire Walk With Me]

7. Heya. Perfectionism means that we want to be perfect

so that nothing bad can ever happen to us, that we can control our entire lives and everything in it.

Surrender, admitting to our innermost selves that we are defeated, means that we accept that we are not capable of controlling everything, but that in surrender to God, we are guided through the things which used to cause us to run away (usually into a bottle etc.). This is about learning to go through what used to cause us to have to run away.

Yesterday at a meeting, I heard several people share their experience, and it summed up into program in a nutshell:

"I didn't know how to show up so I drank."
"I don't know how to show up but I'm doing it one day at a time."
"I don't know how to show up but I'm doing it and am finding a family in AA."
"I'm showing up to help others."

Clancy I. in California is a circuit speaker with a very strong message. I have a CD of one of his talks in my changer, and listen through every time it comes up. I'm still hearing new things, and I'm always getting helped by it. If you're interested, you can find his talks at aaspeakers.org.

Surrender is the acceptance that we don't have to be perfect, that we don't have to try so hard, and that there is total help if we'll allow it. It takes time to get into this groove for most of us, and as we go through life, it requires adjustment. But it works. You can see the evidence in the rooms.

There is a solution. Welcome to your new life, and God bless. Don't be afraid of being weak. We are all powerless. It becomes our strenght.