My sponsor thinks I should start doing 4th step work. I'm dreading it.

[Critters2]

Sometimes I fear I won't be honest enough. Sometimes I fear I'll be too hard on myself. Anyone have words of wisdom as I start this important work? Thanks!

Critters
powerless over my emotions

[NMDemDist2]

1. take the back of an envelope

write down 5 or 8 names of people places and things that bug you RIGHT NOW

go do a 5th step

rinse repeat

edit to add, my 4th step was about finding my patterns and what made me drink so I could use the 6&7 to start changing how I reacted to things

it's something I've learned to do in 15 minutes on anything in my life today.

the 4th isn't a chore, it's a tool you practice until it comes automatically when something bugs you.

but just remember there is no healing in the 4th step, it's the crazy time. the healing comes from 5,6 & 7

don't get stuck, it makes you nutz

:hug:

[Critters2]

3. What good advice! Thanks, AZDem! Doing the 5th step right away seems especially wise.

It's also important to remember that the healing comes with steps 5-7. Thanks very much!

Critters
powerless over my emotions

[NMDemDist2]

6. reading the rest of thread

that's why I suggest just a few things that are eating at you RIGHT NOW then dumping them in a 5th right away too.

if I had tried to do my whole life in my first year, I'da been drunk. What doing it the way I did was give me the TOOLS to handle the old painful stuff as it came up. I didn't dig, I didn't search it out, I let it come to me when it did, as I had more sobriety and tools to handle it.

There were some tough months as the first few years progressed, but I didn't try to do it all at once.

Just get SOMETHING on paper and go talk about it.

[conscious evolution]

9. It is VERY good advice.

Start with the right here right now stuff.Learning your triggers,whether emotional or physical,will make a big difference.
Starting with the present makes it easier to go through the past.

[varkam]

2. No right or wrong way to do a 4th. Well, there is a wrong way to do it...

and that is to not.

The 4th has always been tough for me because I am a prolific procrastinator - especially when it comes to things that are potentially difficult and/or painful. The only way that I have ever been able to do it is to force myself to sit down and just start writing. Your mileage, however, may vary.

[Critters2]

4. I've been rather procrastinating about it, too.

EA has a booklet called _Step by Step_, kind of a workbook for working the steps. The chapter on 4 says, "This may be the most courageous act of your life." Thinking about that makes it seem overwhelming to me...so, you're advice to just do it seems just what I need. Thank you!!

[varkam]

5. It can be overwhelming if you plan to sit down and do it all at once.

For me, the best way to do it was to sit down and write it out bit by bit. Even if all I spent on it in a sitting was 15 minutes, that was enough. The important point is that you do it - it doesn't matter how.

Let me know how it goes or if I can help in any way.

[Kajsa]

7. Hi Critters,

The good peoples here ( I know-wrong grammar-;-) )
have given you great advice.

I want to add,

take good care of yourself,

get lots of rest,healthy food, you know the drill.

A fourth is emotionally draining/uplifting-
yeah- it's a dichotomy and then some.

Don't be surprised if you find that pen moving by itself
over the paper- this is the step that will begin a lifelong
journey of discovery about yourself.

Good luck, good friend.

PM me if you need anything, OK?

:pals:

[Fire Walk With Me]

8. Just do it, any amount of it. Now. No thought, no hesitation,

get out a piece of paper and write someone or something that you're resentful at. Keep going. Most importantly, take your sponsor's advice, and hopefully they're showing you how to do it, even sitting with you as you write down a bunch of targets of resentment.

Any amount will help; the best that you can do will free you. The grace of God will carry you through this, which is why the preceding steps are very important. We all rebel against responsibility, and your higher power is required in order to bypass rebellion (which as the book says, may be fatal).

There's a quarterly 4th step workshop in my area; I've gone to two in a row and aim to make it four times a year. I see people there with years and years of sobriety, and thus know it to be how -they- work to stay sober.

Let us know, and God bless...

[Fire Walk With Me]

10. Here's a link to a nice talk on the subject.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=336x4898#4901