Well... guess that's all folks.

[FlyingSquirrel]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=336x5243

Should've listened to that little voice that was tellin' me it was stupid to go back to drinking just because my wife (with whom I'm separated) wouldn't go out with me unless I was drinking too.

So now here I am with a DUI.

And I drive a bus for a living. But not for much longer, I'm sure. Hated the job anyway but still need the money.

Sucks to be me. That was exactly one week ago... haven't had a drink since then but lemme tell you, it sure is hard to go through what I'm going through without my usual ability to just drink and forget everything for awhile.

Well, there's always sleep.

[Kajsa]

1. Squirrel, I've got to say this--

there's no easy way around this one,

If your wife won't go out with you unless you are drinking too,
then it may be time to move on- from her!

She knows you are an alcoholic, yets demands you drink with her?
That's a slow death sentence for us.

I don't think so.

:(

[FlyingSquirrel]

3. Well, in her defense..

She doesn't think I'm an alcoholic. Her dad is an alcoholic so that constitutes her definition of what an alcoholic is. She thinks I am an occasional problem drinker. I personally would classify myself as borderline. If she were to say that I'm an alcoholic, then she would have to say that she is an alcoholic too since she drinks about the same as I do (possibly more, since she drinks wine at home almost every day whereas I rarely drink at home.) The main difference between us besides that, is that I have tried quitting a couple of times and she has not. She's 10 years younger. Also she hasn't had a DUI, but give it time - she does occasionally drive when she should not.

Anyway, your point is well taken but is just one of many factors that might decide whether we get divorced or not.

[NMDemDist2]

2. your employer may offer recovery services

check with your HR reps

while it looks horrible now, this may have been the wake up call you needed to get your life back

:hug:

[FlyingSquirrel]

4. Doubtful..

I've looked through the labor agreement and don't see anything. They might have something like what you're talking about, but probably not for transit. (It's a department within the city). I have to have a CDL to drive a bus. It's probably gonna get taken away for a year. Even if I get a lawyer and he works miracles, that would probably happen AFTER the 60-day period before the license gets automatically suspended. Once your CDL gets suspended, you have to go through some hoops to get it back. Even if I didn't tell my employer, and just hoped they wouldn't find out or I didn't have an accident on-the-job (like someone smacks my mirror driving by) which required me to show my license to the police -- this happens a lot in my line of work -- my license would be expiring in May anyway and they'd want a copy of the new one.

So basically I have until April 16 to legally continue driving for them, and till nearly the end of May to illegally continue as long as they don't find out. After that, barring some lawyerly miracle, I'm gone, and can't work anywhere else either doing the same type of work.

[NMDemDist2]

5. most government agencies have a number to call when you're having trouble

it's anonymous and probably on the bulletin board at work by the wage statements that you've looked at a million time but never 'seen'

they usually are listed as EAP (Employee Assistance Programs) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employee_assistance_programs

almost all unions and governments offer them

you may be washing buses for a while, but it's better than being unemployed. and you may get the help you need.

I know right now everything seems black, but truly, it doesn't have to be. My hubby has a CDL and they are different, but they can't fire you if you ask for assistance.

it's worth a shot, you'll be no worse off and maybe will be able to improve the situation

:hug:

[Brucie Kibbutz]

6. Sorry to hear you got in trouble.

Believe me, I know how it feels. I know what you mean about not being able to get fucked up and forget about it too.

I would suggest putting your sobriety first before anything else right now. Don't keep on going for years on end like I did. I hate to think of anybody going through life like that.

Take care of yourself, OK?

[FlyingSquirrel]

7. Thanks

I pretty much agree that the only choice I have is to stay away from alcohol. Haven't had a drink since the 16th.

[Kajsa]

8. Squirrel, that is really good news!

It IS one day at a time, sometimes,
one hour at a time.

Take care of yourself, and by all means,
when the urge to drink hits-
( besides calling people in the program)

THINK THE WHOLE THING THROUGH-
including where it will end.

that always helped me.

:hug:

[FlyingSquirrel]

10. Good advice, thanks.

3 weeks now. But I wonder if the only reason I'm not drinking is so I can truthfully say to them at the DUI assessment that I haven't had any alcohol since then and hopefully get a better deal. I mean, once they take the license away and I've lost the job, what's the point staying sober. Can't very well drink & drive without a license can I.

On the other hand, I recognize that driving while drunk is only one of the many things I did while under the influence that has messed up my life (and that of others). I just don't know how strong my resolve will be after the expected outcome of the DUI happens.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=8588478&mesg_id=8588478">This was helpful therapy though :-)

[Brucie Kibbutz]

9. That is a fantastic accomplishment.

It is the best gift you could give to yourself and your loved ones. congrats! :fistbump:

[FlyingSquirrel]

11. Thanks... 40 days now. Longest ever I'm pretty sure.

'course it helps when the law catches up with ya. But I still host Karaoke without drinking. I occasionally go sing but it's very seldom - people miss me but I know it's just not a good idea to do that much, 'cause the temptation is still there. Feeling better about my life though.

[Kajsa]

12. That's great, Squirrel!

You're doing it- one day at a time.

Don't over think this- sometimes our reasons
may be varied but it eventually comes down to,

We want to be sober/clean more than we want to drink/use.

That's what matters.
:-)

:hug: