Okay, the reaction to Edwards' affair on this site is starting to bug me.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

Not because I'm all that interested in the particulars of John Edwards and his midlife crisis with a slightly younger woman.

Okay bear with me because I'm on my third glass of cabernet. Anyway, the running theme in a lot of the posts in GD-P (yes jesus god I need to get a life) is that we're all supposed to be stalwartly behind John Edwards, and ignoring the fact that he cheated on his cancer-stricken wife. Okay, I agree that journalists should have better things to do than panty-sniff, but the fact that he had an affair while running for President is out there. Because Edwards admitted it on national TV. So the idea is that we're supposed to politely ignore it and focus on More Important Things (yes, there are many, many more important things in the world).

But the thing that gnaws at me is when I imagine a situation where Elizabeth Edwards was the candidate, while John was her husband struggling with a fatal disease. Forgive me if I cannot conceive of a scenario where anyone would be blase about her taking up with a young stud, to relieve her campaign stress and invigorate her ego. Excuse me? So why the HELL am I being told by DUers that I must adopt a more "sophisticated" attitude toward John Edwards and his flagrant and callous behavior toward his wife, not to mention the millions of people who supported and voted for him. While he was lying through his teeth about his affair.

Excuse me? Again, this should be a private matter but I still can't forget that the whole idea that infidelity is "no big deal" only seems to be so when it is MALE infidelity that is being discussed. As recently as 1994, a judge was lenient on a man who murdered his unfaithful wife, stating "I seriously wonder how many men married five, four years would have the strength to walk away without inflicting some corporal punishment," http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CE4D9163FF931A15753C1A962958260

Indeed. After all, when a woman commits adultery, that is a major blow to a man. When a man does it, we are supposed to understand and move on.

[noamnety]

1. That's not even HALF the problem with the threads.

Other observations from DU:

1) We shouldn't blame Edwards as much as the woman he was with - really it's HER fault. (women being temptresses and all)

1a) Her entire past is up for trial as if she were a rape victim, so we can PROVE she was a temptress and it wasn't his fault.

2) It wouldn't have been so bad if he'd at least taken up with someone who looked more like a porn star (because a woman's worth in a relationship apparently comes from her ability to look like "a babe.")

3) It's not so bad because at least he's still A Man - not like he was having a gay relationship.

Not to take away from your point, that's valid too - everyone of us knows the language that would be used for a woman who had similar behavior. And it wouldn't be "stupid" or "reckless."

[bliss_eternal]

3. Numbers one and two really burn me....

:grr::mad:

(Forgive the example that follows--I didn't care one way or the other. I just recal this scenario rather vividly, as I was struck by all the strong words tossed in one direction.) It seems to exemplify one and two as I've seen them played out in the media and on this board.

The Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt thingy. To this day, there are people (on DU and in other alleged progressive mindsets) that believe Jolie is evil--a whore that seduced Pitt away from Aniston. Angelina Jolie is she who should be reviled. (Because clearly it was all her fault that Billy Bob Thorton left Laura Dern, too). :eyes: Um, excuse me--but I thought Pitt was the one married to Aniston. Why no comments or hatred tossed toward him? Or Billy Bob for that matter?

****
I found it particularly disturbing that the bulk of the comments came from women.
(sigh)

[BlueIris]

7. "...not like he was having a gay relationship..." UNLESS IT WAS WITH JOHN KERRY!!!

I saw some posts up about that stupid (and OLD) RW smear.

[ismnotwasm]

2. No one is calling him a "skanky slut" is there?

Can you imagine the choice names if it had been a woman? I have no great respect for politicians, I'm one of those who feel that it's not my business, it's the business of Elizabeth Edwards. Mostly because I'm a cynic, and I don't expect better behavior. I'm not surprised, and I'm not particularly interested in the broadest political sense.

From a feminist standpoint well, I agree with you. Our political system is a disgusting mess. There is no greater reflection outside of the sex industry of the damage patriarchy continues to inflict on society. Sometimes I'm surprised we've lasted this long, with the disease of male entitlement and unbalanced power everywhere you look.

Most disturbing to me, is those threads that try some twisted version of evolutionary psychology. "Men are hard wired to cheat" or Everyone cheats" Not realizing, perhaps, that "rape is a adaptive behavior" and other nonsense follows closely behind such sloppy, self serving thinking.

The attempt to justify mean, cruel and selfish behavior by saying we are sexually less that animals,(animals are better behaved, as they are not emotionally driven when it comes to procreation) that men need to shove their sperm in different orifices as often as possible from a biological drive, is as sick as it gets. What is sicker, is those who appear completely clueless to this while trying to sound sexually sophisticated, or bluntly logical. It's horrifying.

[bliss_eternal]

4. Case in point...

Quote:
Excuse me? Again, this should be a private matter but I still can't forget that the whole idea that infidelity is "no big deal" only seems to be so when it is MALE infidelity that is being discussed.....Indeed. After all, when a woman commits adultery, that is a major blow to a man. When a man does it, we are supposed to understand and move on.

Anyone recall Meg Ryan plastered all over every tabloid and labeled with a scarlet "A" for adulterer?

Literally overnight Meg Ryan's public persona changed from America's sweetheart to the heartless whore. She suffered such shame and indignity for thoughtlessly canoodling and (seeming) to have an affair with Russell Crowe within eye shot of all those paparazzi cameras. (note--it was never said just how many of the shots were scenes from the film they were making, and how many were off-set, but I digress).

When it was revealed (many years later) that she and Quaid were legally separated at the time, but attempted to keep the information private for the sake of their son--no one said a word. No one took back the harsh things they implied, or said about Ryan. If anything I saw a few say she should have made the info. public so no one would think those things about her. How dare she think she's entitled to a private life?

No one had much to say about all the years Ryan endured and supported Quaid through his addictions, recovery attempts (and possibly a few infidelities). That was just seen as par for the course of Ryan being Quaid's wife. Nope. That was different, apparently. :eyes:

[mrreowwr_kittty]

5. Men are lionized for meeting bare minimum standards of human decency.

While anything less than sainted selfless martyrdom on the part of a woman gets her instant pariah status. A comedian (Chris Rock I think) has a line where he talks about men wanting praise for not abandoning their children. "Fool, you're supposed to take care of your kids! You think you deserve a medal for that?!"

[BlueIris]

8. Excellent post (you may consider it stolen). nt

[Ellen Forradalom]

9. Beautifully put.

Exactly.

[Captain Hilts]

17. Correct.

[bliss_eternal]

18. I don't understand your point....

...(sorry). Do you care to make it clear or clarify? No disrespect intended, of course. :)

[Ellen Forradalom]

6. Anglachel is spot-on about this

http://anglachelg.blogspot.com/2008/08/yes-it-is-about-fucking.html

My take on this is that compassion and maturity is what sets us apart as liberals. To me, this applies equally to both sexes. That it doesn't for many other people shows how very very far we have to go.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

10. Here's a lovely example of the enlightenment to be found on this site

But NOT JUST ONE... Edwards and this Young dude. She was working what she had to work with and she was and still is utterly deceitful and manipulative putting the near final dagger into Edwards w/ the Hotel meeting which Edwards was most assuredly tricked into attending... and was SET UP!

Edwards as a man who married EARLY in life was not well acquainted it seems w/ sneaky ass females who dangle their pussy in front of powerful men like Edwards who maybe were unfamiliar w/ such tricks. If she had ANY credibility at ALL... The piece of crap would allow Edwards to take the paternity test but nooooo that would end her leverage over the media, those who are paying her whatever amounts for whatever reasons... and it would be over with.

There is MUCH MORE TO COME out about Rielle the psycho ManHunter... Let's just hope that the Truth gets as much attention as the lies do!!!!!!!!

How much do you want to bet he'd go easy on a guy who shot his unfaithful wife if he were on a jury? After all, in his worldview, men are NEVER responsible for anything they do.

[noamnety]

11. Please tell me you alerted on that.

I've made lots of new friends this weekend by alerting on sexist slurs. :D

[mrreowwr_kittty]

12. Yes I did and it's gone.

But the really shitty thing is that my response to the asswad, which wasn't half as offensive as what he posted got deleted first! :grr:

[noamnety]

13. Well, that's ass-backwards.

Glad it's gone now, though.

I'm a little tired of "feminists" defending the use of sexist slurs. Not just in that thread, but in general. "I'm a feminist, but let me tell you what we call that sort of woman."

[Chovexani]

14. I hate, hate hate that mentality

In fact I just called it out on another site.

No, if you're using slurs and buy into the "that sort of woman" bullshit, you are not a feminist. You are an asshole.

[ismnotwasm]

16. Exactly

Another one is "*I'M* a woman and I don't think blah blah blah," (insert defense of the indefensible here) like being a female tool for the patriarchy given them special insight. I think something along the lines of Yes you're a woman, and yes, you're either a blind, complacent tool or emotionally damaged in way that causes you to jump when the patriachy tells you to, as well as asking how high, OR, quite possibly, an asshole

[Scout]

15. "females who dangle their pussy in front of powerful men "

yup, those poor men, they can run the world but that 6" penis is just too hard to control!

:eyes: