Why are sexual acts associated mostly with women denigrated?

[redqueen]

Cocksucker as an insult... getting 'fucked' as a bad thing.

This has been bugging me since reading a Rude Pundit piece on Obama 'fucking' Republicans. Cause you know, getting fucked is such a humiliating, horrible thing.

I know many people will say it's no big deal, it doesn't matter, it's all just jokes... but I don't think I can agree. This kind of language insidiously works its way into our subconscious. I can't help thinking that this kind of crap is likely to be at least part of the reason why so many women have so many issues with their own sexuality.

[bliss_eternal]

1. Not sure exactly why....

...but wanted to let you know that I agree--language matters. Words have power.

Interesting comments regarding "fucked." Especialy considering how many progressive dudes are into talking about "banging." They seem to especially love that word. :eyes: I'm also wondering when dude nation started referring to male genitalia as "junk." A rather odd choice for a revered body part, isn't it?

:shrug:

[ismnotwasm]

2. How far the mighty have fallen

From "The Family Jewels" to "Junk". No doubt certain Men's groups have some deep psychological insight on this,how it's all because men are so abused and taken advantage of, and it's all the fault of their collective mothers.

Ever see the movie "Chasing Amy"? It's a fairly clever film about a man who falls in love with a lesbian. (Which works out about how you'd expect) Anyway, there's this scene where she tells a girlfriend that 'I wants to save my energy so she can fuck you later" This leads to an argument between this woman and and the two men she's hanging out with, with the men holding that "fucking" should be about penetration, and the woman telling them it's about sex. Kind of interesting.

[bliss_eternal]

3. Ha...!

I'd forgotten about "Family Jewels." :spray:

The whole "junk" thing is so weird to me. All of a sudden, seemingly overnight--every frat boy comedy and animated show featured this new term. Yet, no dudes (that I've asked) have been able to explain when or why they started using this term.

Better question... Why would I (or any woman) want something synonymous with garbage anywhere near them? :shrug:

I did see Chasing Amy. Kevin Smith (not unlike Tarantino) creates interesting dialogue....not as frequently as Quentin, but now and again he surprises me and there's a moment or scene like the one you mentioned that makes me go, "hmmmmm. interesting." We need to compare film notes, as we've seen some of the same stuff. ;) :hi:

[comtec]

4. I've only known those to be male-directed insults, by other males

Generally attacking their sexuality.
For me, as a bi man, I only shrug and say "yes.. and?"

The insult is based around someone being submissive to another, and thus male-centric in general.

what this says about my gender :shrug: I don't really care, but there you are.

[seabeyond]

5. good point. submissive. i had always look at it from perspective of weaker

but you are right. the correct word is submissive and to be so engrained in the speech for male is again telling.... all conditioned, it is what it is

wavin to you

[bliss_eternal]

10. given that you've used that language...

...previously, on du--why would you understand?

:eyes:

[redqueen]

11. Ridiculous.

These insults are not solely male-directed. "Get fucked" is hardly gender-specific. And "cocksucker" is hurled at both men and women alike.

Nice to know you don't care, though.

[whathehell]

6. You are correct....Men seem to associate "fucking" with conquest

or degradation...and who wants that?

It's ugly and, in my view, DOES give women issues with sexuality...After all, who wants to be "conquered" and/or degraded?..."fucked"?..Who wants to be "a pussy"..or even HAVE a pussy if it's such a negative thing.

It's all about "active" and "passive"...Some gay men even take pride in being "pitchers" not "catchers"....I've read that Gore Vidal (and others) deny being gay on the basis of being the "active" partner.

[ismnotwasm]

7. That reminds me of a Neil Gaiman short story

It's called "Keepsakes and Treasures" This is the bit I mean;

"Outside of business, Mr. Alice's main interest is sex, which is why I was standing outside Earl's Court station with forty million U.S. dollars' worth of blue-white diamonds in the inside pockets of my macintosh. Specifically, and to be exact, Mr. Alice's interest in sex is confined to relations with attractive young men. Now don't get wrong here: I don't want you thinking Mr. Alice is some kind of woofter. He's not a nancy or anything. He's a proper man, Mr. Alice. He's just a proper man, who likes to fuck other men, that's all. Takes all sorts to make a world I say, and leaves a lot more of what I like for me. Like at restaurants, where everyone gets to order something different from the menu"

I really like Neil Gaiman, anybody who is good friends with Tori Amos can't be all bad. His writing has interesting little insights.

And that touches on my personal philosophy about sexuality and pornography. Our society is so twisted by patriarchy it's the 'dirty sex' it gets it's greatest thrills from. When idiots talk about sexual repression and feminism it makes me laugh, because what evolved here with the dominance and conquest aspect of our sexuality is not some outgrowth of Darwinism, it's true sexual repression. Men end up needing to degrade to feel fully sexual, if not in actuality with their partners, then in fantasy, fueled by the master/slave or madonna/whore or whatever dialectic you want to use.
Those who compare fundamentalist and feminists, with that asinine 'feminists don't like sex' meme, are the ones who are in a type of sexual bondage, left with no real imagination, true sexual repression and they then they go and project that shit all over those who want a free world for all. Assholes.

[whathehell]

8. You are quite right.

In fact, a lot of the modern male oriented porn I've seen (by mistake, I assure you!)degrades overtly...It's standard to see not only sex but the girls and women depicted being called "sluts" "dirty whores"..etc.

It's hideous mysogyny.

[seabeyond]

9. ah... but the guy study says porn GOOD for us, depicting us as cum buckets

and every other degrading, dehumanizing comment that can be made about a woman.

that it is so healthy, sexually freeing and empowering