"Shut your suckhole."

[Bunny]

Quick - tell me your very first response to that sentence.
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What is a "suckhole"? Do you see it as a mouth, and the "suck" part pertains to oral sex? If a man said that to his wife, would you think he was referring to her mouth, as the place where he puts his penis?

The reason I ask is because I was on vacation last week and watched an episode of Dr. Phil one day. Now I realize the limitations of that show, but bear with me. The guests were a couple where the woman complained that her husband was too controlling. He acknowledged this, and went so far as to say that he needed to teach her how to brush her teeth, because she didn't do it correctly. :eyes:

Anyway, as they get further into the story, Dr. Phil brings up that the man often tells his wife to "shut her suckhole". Dr. Phil asks the guy if it's true that he says that, and the guy confirms it. And that was about the end of that part of the discussion.

I'm left to wonder why Dr. Phil didn't pursue the "suckhole" comment. I've heard of piehole, cakehole, etc. and I think those sayings are humorous. But I have trouble getting anything other than a sexual connotation from the word "suckhole".

The whole thing struck me as an almost casual sexual degradation of the wife, and then the host moved on to other topics. It was strange - "shut your suckhole" sounds like something from a porn flick, and yet it was just casually glossed over. That particular thing had me more irritated than the asshole husband - Dr. Phil could have used this to highlight the sexual degradation of this woman, along with all the other shit her husband was putting her through, and yet he just moved on with the show. Why didn't he explore that further, and make the husband explain himself?

I don't know, maybe I'm just over-reacting to everything these days -the whole Roe v. Wade flareup today has me pretty pissed off. Or, maybe I need to stop watching Dr. Phil. :)

I hope it's understood that this is not a sex thread - I'd feel bad if it was locked for that reason.

I'm going offline pretty soon, if anyone responds I'll be back here in the morning.

[Misunderestimator]

1. I understand why you were upset by that...

there is nothing to assume it is other than the receptable for sucking, er... something... :eyes: That's what I've always assumed was meant when I've heard that expression.

[Bunny]

9. Glad I'm not the only one offended by it!

[Heddi]

2. Dr Phil is a suckhole :)

I sometimes watch his show, only because it preceeds Judge Judy, which is the ONLY thing on during the day that I can somewhat tolerate.

About 2 years ago, when the Dr Phil/Judge Judy Power Hours was started, I caught my first episode of Dr. Phil.

The situation was that a woman was married to a man who was a compulsive cheater, as in, infidelity.

In the at-home taping part (where they do the interviews that preceeds their appearance on the show), the wife is saying that she's got a fulltime job, 3 kids, and is always running around doing SOMETHING, and that the husband explains that he cheats because she's always too busy doing house, work, and kid stuff.

They show the woman welcoming her husband home, and she's wearing a robe and her hair is in a towel. Looks like she just got out the shower.

SO during the on-stage interview, Dr. Phil actually TOLD the woman that perhaps if she dressed nicer and acted like she was pleased to see her husband then he wouldn't cheat on her.

The woman responded that she WAS happy to see her husband, but he got home late at night, and all during the day she's either working her job, shuttling kids back and forth from school and games, or doing housework, cooking, cleaniing, etc.

That's no excuse as far as Dr Phil was concerned. He outright told her that unless she RESPECTED her husband's needs and took the time to dress up, put on makeup, and not be so surly about her role as wife and mother, she could only EXPECT that he would continue to cheat on her.

:wtf:

Nothing at all said about this guy who admittedly and openly stated that he had unprotected sex with a variety of one-night stands. No mention of the fact that he is subjecting his wife and children to a plethora of sexually transmitted diseases and bodily-fluid-transmitted diseases.

No mention about he constantly DISREPCTS HIS WIFE AND CHIDLREN by having wonton sex as a way to 'get back' at her and her audacity to be a parent to their children.

Nope.
None of that.

It was all her fault for not being a fucking Miss America contestant 24 hours a day.

That was the last time for a LONG time that I watched Dr. Phil.

It seems now that recently he's toned down his "blame the woman" aspect of cheating males and generally lays the blame squarely on the shoulders of the cheater, while still getting in a few digs at the cheated-on spouse for not meeting needs at home in one way or another.

---
As far as the episode you're talking about, I saw that, and I thought the same thing.

He's callling his wife nothing more than a walking dick-sucker, and that is her pure reason for living. He obviously does NOT see her as a human being otherwise he wouldn't have to tell her (instruct her) how to take a shower properly, how to brush her teeth properly, and how to feed the cat properly.

Thanks to him, she's more perfect than she was before she met him. If only ALL of us wayward suckholes had such upstanding men in our lives.

I got the feeling during that interview that he humiliated her more than what the camera showed. I have a feeling there were really big issues with their sexlife. She seemed pretty beat down, especially since she was AGREEING that yes, she DID shower wrong, and yes, she DID need his guidance about how to brush her chompers. I think he's had to 'teach' her alot in the bedroom too, probably about how she's not a good suckhole, and how her needs aren't nearly as important as his.

Dr Phil is an assface republican assface. I hate that man. In his world, everything is SO simplistic. Don't want your spouse to cheat--tell them not to. Have a whiny kid, just tell them not to whine.

Someone once made the mistake of taking Dr. Phil seriously. They should have never done that and left him at his old job of grilling potential jurors.

[omega minimo]

4. That's another show

"It was all her fault for not being a fucking Miss America contestant 24 hours a day."

The Swan. :puke:

"Someone once made the mistake of taking Dr. Phil seriously."

Watch MadTV for someone who takes Dr. Phil hilariously-- Michael McDonald skewers his pompously arrogant pomposity perfectly. Plus the dubious credentials and 3 minute analyses.

Another show to watch: OPRAH WOULD HAVE PICKED UP ON SUCKHOLE, GIRLFRIEND. NO DOUBT.

[Bunny]

11. Yep - Oprah would have kicked that guy's ass!

And Michael McDonald doing Dr. Phil is hilarious! When he says "it ain't about YEWWWWWWWW!!! I :rofl:

[Hello_Kitty]

6. Heddi, let me just say

You totally scored again with another excellent post.

Dr. Phil truly is a repuke assface. Back at the beginning of the war he excoriated 2 female guests who were protesting the war. He told them they were damaging the morale of the troops and emboldening the enemy. He redeemed himself a little bit when he did a very positive profile of the Kerrys during the election but I still think he's a fucking Shrub pandering jerk.

It was Oprah who took him seriously and brought him to national prominence. That's why, ironically enough, the misogynist Men's Righters think he's a huge male-basher. Please.

[Bunny]

14. I hope they continue to think he's a huge male-basher.

Shhhh! Nobody tell them! :)

[Heddi]

20. I saw that show too

Wasn't Michelle Shocked one of the gals on that show?

I remember that, and I remember some military mom sitting in the audience parroting the fucking line:

My son is risking his life so you can have the freedoms you do. Therefore, you should not use the freedoms you have, uh, because he's like, uh, fighting for them, or something. SUPPORT THE TROOOOOPS

[Kerrytravelers]

30. I was in the audience on the Kerry show.

I was one of three audience members who were selected to ask dr. phil and that little twit of a wife a question about Kerry and Teresa. The say of the taping, they rewrote my question.

It had been: Did Teresa comment on the personal attacks on her and how she's been villified for being a strong woman?

It was changed to: How does Teresa manage the household duties while on the campaign trail?


On the * show, the three audience members got to ask their questions. POn our show, none of us did. Now, I told NO ONE, but in my mind, I wasn't going to ask that stupid question they gave me, but my orginal one. I'd probably be edited out, but I wasn't goin to controbute to sterotyping a woman into "wifly duties."

Can you imagine?


Also, tht day, they gave us all dr. phil books and a magazine In the magazine, rebin had an article entitles "robin's day," where she we on and on and on about how she cooks for her family, serves her family and all the womderful things she does as a wife. Everything was for the men, but this woman does nothing for herself... except plastic surgery (believe me, take a good look in preson, she's all plastic.)

Now, there is nothng wrong with doing any of the things she does, but in our home, we both partake in serving one another and helping one another. Her column was just demeaning. Since it was a Dem/lib group that day, most people were cracking up and taking turns reading it in a "robin voice" in the audience waiting room. It was pretty funny. She was totally ridaculed.

[Bunny]

31. I cannot believe they rewrote your question, in such an opposite

way of the one you wanted to ask!!! That's absurd. Re: Robin - if you are a homemaker and all you want in life is to "do" for your family, I have no problem with that. If you're happy, I'm happy. But to hold this up as the ideal, especially when most women will never be as rich or pampered as Robin, is insulting.

[atommom]

8. I rarely watch Dr. Phil, and these stories remind me why!

He has a lot of undeserved clout these days, and it burns me to hear some of the tripe he's been peddling.

[Bunny]

13. He is indeed a dickhead.

[Heddi]

21. The man has never been faced with a problem that cannot be solved

in 15 minutes, including commercial breaks.

He's a hack.

I've got friends that are real-life, honest-to-goodness Psychologists and Psychiatrists and they just CRINGE when clients come in and talk about how they read Dr. Phil's books, and tried his methods, and their marriage/life/children are still falling apart.

His answers are so simple, so black and white, and completely ignore the social dynamics that occur in every family or life situation. But the ratings come in, and you've got millions of housewives and their husbands that are tied to the Altar of Dr. Phil.

There was one show where the husband was terminally unemployed. The family had to sell their house and 99% of their belongings and move in with one set of inlaws because hubby said he coudln't get a job.

Well, he WOULDN'T get a job--his idea of a job was sitting at a desk on a corner in town with a sign "Will be Admin Assistant for Work" or something like that.

Dr Phil NEVER asked this man why he wasn't working at McDonalds, or Dominos, or digging fucking ditches.

Instead, the wife was working 2 jobs and selling EVERYTHING they owned at flea markets, yard sales, and ebay just to make ends meet.

But he had the tenacity to sit on a city corner 8 hours a day, but couldn't find the time to do SOMETHING, even part-time, to help his wife out.

So Dr Phil got him a job through a head-hunter, which was great for this family, but what about the MILLIONS of other people out there without jobs? His advice--just keep applying. The jobs are out there. Be a more effective interviewer. Broaden your horizons. Yar yar yar.

At the same time, both my husband and I were looking for work. I was sending out an average of 30 resumes PER WEEK just from the paper, and another 40-50 on line. Hubby was the same.

And we're not unskilled workers. I'm a phlebotomist, admin assitant, sales assistant, sales rep--Hubby is a graphic designer, phlebotomist, CNA---

THE JOBS WERE NOT OUT THERE>

However, ahd we gotten to that point where we were forced to sell our shit and move in with mom, BOTH of us would have been working 20 hours a day at fucking WALMART if that's what it took to keep a roof over my head.

I think Dr. Phil gives people simplistic answers to life problems, and often lets people off the hook for the most EGGREGIOUS things. Cheating on your wife is okay because she's not wearing lipstick. Making your wife work 2.5 jobs and sell all her shit is okay, because you're just a poor old Sales Rep out of work and with $19,000 in debt. That's okay. Here's a job....


I don't know...I really don't like him. I wish they'd put Judge Judy on BEFORE Dr. Phil so I wouldn't have to look at his shiny shitty head.

[Bunny]

10. She seemed VERY beat-down.

I actually wondered if they weren't actors. Or, at the very least, they were instructed to really embellish their roles, to make it more juicy for TV.

Yes, Dr. Phil is a Republican asshat. Years ago, when he was on Oprah once/week, I enjoyed watching him. I really liked how he refused to let people play the victim, he made them own their shit, etc. It seemed like such practical advice, and it still does, truth be told. But he has gotten so dull and stupid, it's almost painful to watch.

[Heddi]

22. I've known 2 people that were on Talk Shows back in the 80's

my mom's friend and her husband were on Sally Jessie Raphael back in the mid 80's

The story was supposed to be about men and women who had different eating styles and coudln't come to a food consensus.

Well, once they got to the show, the producers informed them that that show concept was a little...dull...so they wanted to spice it up a bit. Instead of having conflicting food desires, they wanted the husband to be uber controlling about the wife's food, and asked that the wife act all beaten and submissive and that the husband act all dominant and assholish.

They supplied them with TONS of alcohol before the show---Mona (my mom's friend) said she was totally TRASHED by the time they got on stage.

They even had an actress play the husband's mother.

They get on stage, totally drunk, and just acted like fools, lied through their teeth about how he was controlling about her food and blah blah blah. In the end, the 'mother in law' came on stage with a chocolate cake and the husband threw the cake in her face, then threw cake on his wife.

At the end of the show, they got a Sally Jessy Raphael corkscrew, some plates, and a toiletry bag with shampoo samples.

They were SO embarssed, but were told if they didn't go along, they'd be sent home immediately and forced to pay for the airfare and hotel costs that SJR's show had offered to pay.

---

2 guys I went to high school with were on Jerry SPringer pretending to be lifelong enemies. IN reality, they were best friends and roommates. Got on stage, faked a fight, called each other names, and one professed hidden love for the other at the end of the show.

They said that at NO TIME was Jerry Springer's show under the impression that they were being truthful. They KNEW it was a lie, and like SJR, plied them with ample amounts of alcohol before the show. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, lets you not mind so much lying in front of millions of people.

They got a Jerry SPringer tote bag and some towels.

---

Back in 1998, Hubby and I went to NYC and while we were there, attended a taping of both Montel Williams and Maury Povich. Whenever you watch these shows, and people start clapping at the RIGHT minute, or getting rowdy--it's all starts with the stage producers who are standing on the sidelines. It wasn't so bad at Montel, but it was crazy at Maury--they were taping a show about out of control teens, and the producer would stand on the side of the stage and shout "WHAT A WHORE" or "YOU LITTLE BASTARD" then motion her hands for the audience to back her up, which we did with great glee.

It's all fake. I would NOT be surprised if these people fudged about shit to get on Dr. PHil.

Hubby and I have even joked about it, like, what ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING AWFUL thing could we pretend was happening to our marriage so we'd get a free trip to LA and some tasty treats from Dr. Phil

Maybe I can be like my mom's friend Mona and get a Dr. Phil bottle opener

:)

[Bunny]

23. A -ha! I knew they did that!

Everyday problems are too drab for these shows, so they have to juice them up. You and hub should go on SOME show - I'll work on a concept for your "problem". :)

[Heddi]

24. Remember Loveline on MTV

Once we called in with a fake problem so we could get on the show.

The problem was:

I came home early from work one day and saw my husband (then boyfriend) eating his own spunk. is this normal? Is this like when kids eat dirt because they're lacking nutrients? Is this safe for me? Can I get pregnant if he does that then gives me oral sex?

Well I talked to a producer who wanted me to call bck a few days later during the next taping. I was all over it, crying and acting all upset and afraid. So I call and she puts me on hold for like, EVER, and then comes back on the line and says they can't use my question because that night's guest was Shaquille O'Neal and it was too 'racy' for him and his image.

I think they heard me laughing it up with my husband as we were sitting there, on hold, smoking massive amounts of reefer and getting ready to go on live tv with this bullshit story.

Aaah...my 15 minutes of fame were never meant to be. Sigh.

Help me come up with a problem for Dr. PHil. He already had people who were dating that turned out to be bio bros & sis (didn't know about each other's parental link until after marriage).

If I gotta have a problem I want it to be SUPER HUGE PROBLEM. Like, blow people away. ha ha

[Bunny]

25. HAHAHAHAHA!

Eats his own spunk!!!! :rofl: I would have NEVER thought of that! I don't know if I can top that, but I'll start thinking. :)

[jmm]

26. I have a couple of exes that have been on talk shows

One was on Ricky Lake the other on Sally Jessy Raphael. Both were on for pretty much the same reason. One had a cousin and the other had a sister who were having relationship problems and they were asked to invite a male family member that would threaten basically threaten the boyfriend on stage. The ex that was on SJR was also given alcohol an he was underage at the time.

[Bunny]

27. Giving alcohol to minors, too?

What a crock of poo!

[all.of.me]

3. that is disgusting!

i'd divorce that creep in one second! how dare he!

[undergroundpanther]

5. Suckhole???

That dude if he tried to force me to stay with his sorry ass after I walked out when he opened his mouth the first time about suckholes.. He would have been found with an icepick stuck in his temple in a gutter 4 states away if he DARED to say that kind of shit to me again,if he did this crap on TV Dr Phil would become Jerry Springer real fast,..I have no tolerance for that kind of emotional abuse and bullshit game playing out of ANYONE I would make a relationship with.So there are no abusive people in my life.
I have a healthy,honest,mutually rewarding NON abusive NON controlling relationship that's been going strong 10 years now..I refuse to be talked to like I am a slave or object by ANYONE.

I really HATE control freaks. When they show up in situations,like a group or a "job" I tend to deliberately agitate them after I observe them awhile and I find out what kind of persona they are, and see they are playing control games and I will make them crack.I gaslight the pieces of shit until they just lose it and make a total ass of themselves. I mess up a control freak's pretenses of seeking control in any group or relationship they happen to intrude that I am part of.I find they willingly stay the hell away from me once they realize they cannot get away with playing their sick shit around me so easily.These kinds of control freak assholes tend to choose to LEAVE rather than stick around causing havoc and disrupting the milieu when I want to make domination and abusive bullshit look like a bad idea..for anyone who gets that idea.

Control freaks and bullies have predictable patterns in their behaviors. Once you know what to look for,just observe them awhile and the sick jerks and their pathetic games become obvious.

[Bunny]

15. It's hard to imagine getting to the place where a grown woman

could allow her husband to teach her how to brush her own teeth, because she doesn't do it "correctly". I do understand the cycle of abuse, but that really takes the cake.

[all.of.me]

28. i thought that, too.

i don't know how to brush my teeth?!?!!? excuse me?!?!?! you do not deserve to be in my life! period.

sheesh..... :eyes:

[Bunny]

12. I might kill him first, then divorce him!

j/k!

[atommom]

18. That was my first thought, too!

I'm also just kidding.... sort of.

[Bunny]

7. Thanks everyone for your responses.

I probably won't be able to get back to this until this evening - long day of inservice training ahead! I'll take another look then.

[cally]

16. First response...what kind of asshat would say that to his wife?

Second response...why does she allow that? I think it does mean either the mouth or the vagina. Either way, it's meant to be demeaning, crude, and insulting. I know piehole and cakehole are not as bad, but I always thought the inference was similar. :shrug:

[Bunny]

17. I always thought piehole and cakehole were just amusing ways

to refer to your mouth, as in, places where you stick pie and cake. I couldn't imagine suckhole as anything OTHER than sexual, though.

This husband was a total asshat, and I think Dr. Phil let him off way too easy.

[cally]

19. You're probably right

That makes more sense than I was thinking.

[BlueIris]

29. "Dr." Phil McGraw is one of the biggest misogynists I've ever met.

Yes, I have had the misfortune of meeting him. I can't believe that shit is still on the air, or that otherwise sensical feminists I know enjoy his pile of "band-aid on a gushing wound" style of "theraputic" advice, which is absolutely soaked with a with scary, anti-woman bent. He's an asshole. Watch that show for a few episodes and you'll see a ton of this not-so-thinly veiled woman-hating behavior. I despise Oprah Winfrey for giving this man his start. He's vile.

[Hello_Kitty]

32. I know!!!

Why don't his viewers see that? It's not like he hides his disdain for women very well at all. Plus, didn't he have some kind of sexual harrassment charge against him? Wonder what happened with that.

[BlueIris]

33. I didn't know about the harrassment charge.

But I'm not surprised. His penchant for telling sexist and homophobic jokes backstage at the tapings of his show, in front of staff, is a known issue. He doesn't have all that much restraint when it comes to that sort of behavior. I couldn't find anything about an actual lawsuit or other action when I Googled, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before something else happens; in my opinion, there's a pathology at work there.