I had not searched for the Feminism board before

[ThomCat]

though I knew it was here. I usually haunt the LGBT, Vegetarian + animal rights, Disability, and Poverty boards. But all the rape discussions made me really want to get out of GD.

I'm getting disgusted with people who insist that people routinely lie about having been raped.

I'm getting disgusted with people who insist that rape is just aggressive sex.

I'm getting disgusted with people who keep defending the accused rapist, insulting and accusing the victim, and then insist that of course they are against rape.

So I'm going to lurk here for a while and read some sanity. Thank you in advance.
:hi:

[tnlefty]

1. I was wondering what in the hell had been going on. I started reading

through one of the threads and had to quit and get busy. From your list I think it's good that I didn't read a lot of the threads. Sickening.

[ThomCat]

4. It's very sickening. I'm so upset that I'm ranting to

coworkers. One guy got tombstones who seemed proud of behaviour that would make him a date-rapist.

[tnlefty]

10. That's the thread that I was reading through and it was disgusting, for

me anyway.

[Samurai_Writer]

2. Thank you ThomCat and welcome

I have decided to stay out of GD from now on for my own sanity as well. Glad to have you in the group!

[ThomCat]

5. Thank you for the welcome.

Even though I know guys are welcome here I figure feminist boards are women's spaces, so I stay away. (Guys have a habit of crowding too many places already.) So even though I'm here I'll probably be pretty quiet about it most of the time. :)

[lukasahero]

3. You are *most* welcome, ThomCat.

Thanks for trying to do battle out there. It has been a tough week. It's encouraging to see some men have had enough of it, too. :applause:

[ThomCat]

6. It's disheartening that there aren't more guys

speaking up. Feminism has been around longer than many people have been alive. It shouldn't be new or radical to anyone.

[Warpy]

7. I'm sick of people who feel a need to try the case when they don't

have any of the pertinent information and it isn't their job, anyway. I know people want to understand how such a hideous thing could have happened involving such "nice" boys (did your PUBLIC high school have a la crosse team? Mine sure didn't, but the prep schools did) and a piece of trash who was only one step above a streetwalker, blah blah blah. This is as much a class drama as it is a rape case, and that's what's being played out in GD.

And yes, it's ugly. Welcome to our hideaway.

[ThomCat]

8. You are right that it is a class drama.

I don't know anyone can view those threads without seeing so much race, class and gender bias.

But there is a contingent that is so buy arguing that the "boys" might be innocent that they're not seeing anything else.

[BlueIris]

17. I think the elitism disgusted me faster than the misogyny.

Not because elitism is more disgusting, but because I think I read more posts that were blatantly classist in nature than I did overtly misogynist ones--before I fled, that is. YUCK.

[Katherine Brengle]

9. I don't blame you --

I skipped out when the Duke "conversations" started going downhill (i.e., immediately after the story broke)...

Some people are unwilling to believe that rape even exists -- much less that it is as prevalent as it is.

[Solly Mack]

11. I've been absolutely blown away by some of the comments

My brain weebled. My eyes bulged. I sputtered many, many times.

The ignorance of the comments. The hostility of the comments. And you just know some of them have absolutely no clue what their words reveal about them.

I've read several comments where I immediately thought - rapists. Maybe that's not fair but their words were so incriminating - so telling of their mentality.

[ThomCat]

12. I know. I hate to say that I'm making a list

of people I hope never to meet, but I guess I am. I've been friends with guys who I then heard were rapists (from their own words, no less). In one case, I knew the woman he raped too.

I don't ever want to go there again. I've known too many evil people in my life. None of them thought they were evil, and they all had excuses and justifications.

That's not what I come to DU to find.

[bloom]

15. It does seem to me

that some of the more obvious rape apologists could be banned.

Everyone's welcome to alert on them btw. I don't know if that would help. I think that was part of the hope of FormerRepublican and her self-deleted poll.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=976247&mesg_id=976247


I've alerted on that sort of thing from time to time. It seems to go unnoticed.

We are able to keep people of the Feminist Group that just like to bait people. But that's about it for the most part.


Welcome.

[lukasahero]

16. FYI

FormerRepublican has been TSd. If anyone has the means to contact her, I hope you will do so. I am worried about her.

[bloom]

19. I'm sorry to hear that

It did seem that all that was getting to her. :(

[ThomCat]

21. That sucks.

I don't know what she said to get tombstoned, or what the final provocation was. I hope she's okay.

[MuseRider]

22. Sometimes I almost feel

embarrassed alerting so much. It is always over an anti woman word or these kinds of things. I don't think I have alerted more than a few times over anything else. Sometimes I feel almost like apologizing for continuing to alert. I hate that because I would rather not do that at all.

This will continue as long as some men feel entitled to someone elses body however, whenever they want it. To me that hurts worse than the actual disgust over the rape, the feeling that you meant so little as human being to someone that they would do something to you that would hurt you the rest of your life and they would feel perfectly entitled and justified doing it.

Hello to all the good men who support us. I love you all for being evolved enough to see us as equals and worthy of respect.

[geniph]

13. Welcome, ThomCat

Happy to see you here. I've been considering sending PMs to some of the folks speaking sense on "those" threads, asking if they ever come to the Feminists forum. It'd be nice to get some more of them here before they decide DU is overrun with misogynistic 12-year-old boys.

[ismnotwasm]

14. Welcome

Very glad to see you here. It's been a tough few days!

[bliss_eternal]

18. Welcome ThomCat--

I'm excited that you've joined us! I saw your posts on a few of those horrible threads. Dude, you kicked much ass--Bravo! ;)

Looking forward to seeing you around. :hi:

[ThomCat]

20. "Dude, you kicked ass"

LOL! I don't know that I went that far. But thank you very much. :7

[bliss_eternal]

23. Shut UP-- You totally did!

:hi:

[spooky3]

24. I'd like to add a welcome and play school marm for a minute

We need a feminist version of "Dude, you kicked ass!" since that phrase is very macho :-)!

How about "Dude, you were more graceful than Sasha Cohen in that thread!"
or "Dude, the Oxford Debate Team would be in awe of you!"

Or maybe I'm being a sexist--maybe there's no reason why a woman should shy away from figurative justified violence :-)!

Anyway, a very warm welcome to you and I look forward to reading your future posts.