Patriarchy: alive and well in Ohio....a rant

[femrap]

As some of you may have read on DU, Stephanie Studebaker, who is running for the 2nd District US Congressional seat (Dayton, Ohio), was arrested along with her husband for Domestic Violence a couple of days ago.

Since I currently live in Ohio, I check the Ohio Forum at DU to see what's up....this is where I just heard about Stephanie. I have met her...she's a veterinarian and started up a grassroots organization called Wake Up Ohio before she decided to throw her hat in the ring and run for Congress. She is intelligent and has a great sense of humor. I am so sad to hear about her current troubles. I guess there have been problems in the past within the marriage. Whose marriage hasn't had problems? Hell, the divorce rate is 50%.

Anyway, why are people here at DU writing Stephanie off so quickly? In fact, one poster was boo-hooing about how hard he/she had worked on her campaign along with his/her children and now doesn't know what to tell the children. (It's all about me....poor me....I have been suckered again...boo hoo for me.) I could puke.

As far as I am concerned, don't you think us 'supposed' Dems could wait out the week and hear what Stephanie has to say? She is being written off almost immediately.

Hell, her father-in-law is the one who called 911 after speaking to his son (her husband). For all we know, the father-in-law may not like Democrats that much and he may not like women running for political office. And for all we know, the husband isn't too happy with his wife being gone all the time and he has to look at dirty clothes and dirty dishes. Who knows?

Maybe hubby doesn't like the fact that wife is becoming more important than he is....and maybe husband is wondering WTF am I going to do if Stephanie is off in Washington, DC making laws that I have to follow?

Patriarchy is the strongest and strictest rule of society...and no matter what a woman does, it is wrong. So I hope Stephanie makes her decision about her campaign knowing that. She should do what she wants. As far as I am concerned, I think Stephanie could garner many, many women votes if she talks about DV in an honest and truthful way. IOW, this sad situation could have a silver lining if we Dems decide to work for that.

Why do some Dems give up so easily? Why are some of them so spineless and self-absorbed? This is politics....dirt happens...it can be overcome. I just hate seeing Dems tossing Stephanie to the curb....hell, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

Well...thanks for letting me rant. Who knows what is happening between Stephanie and her husband. It's a troubled marriage with DV in the past....but damn it, there are millions of troubled marriages. I just don't see it as a deal breaker....that's all. Some nice 'wash, rinse and spin' could help.

I want more women like Stephanie in Congress representing me. Please consider what the mayor of NYC, Guilliani, did to his wife and children when he was mayor.....treated them like dirt with NO respect whatsoever by showcasing his mistress. And he got away with this....no problem. Hell, some people want him to run for Prez.

Damn the Patriarchy and it's short, fat, bald, rich, ugly, white boys.

Done.

[Control-Z]

1. For Immediate Release: August 15, 2006

Welcome,
For Immediate Release:
August 15, 2006

At 4PM, Stephanie Studebaker released the following statement:

"After deciding to focus my efforts entirely on my family, I am withdrawing my name from the ballot as a candidate for Ohio's Third Congressional District, effective immediately. Ohio families are ready for a change, and this is a seat Democrats can and will win in November."



Looks like the Patriarchy won again -

[femrap]

2. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I was afraid of this....I'm beginning to think that I need to get the hell out of Ohio. Maybe there's something in the water.

I hope she doesn't let this sad episode discourage her...I'm sure she will find other ways to help our country.

[Control-Z]

3. This makes me sick.

What did they do to her? I don't know a single detail but I would guess whatever story does comes out it will be a twisted one. This just feels so familiar to me and it takes a lot to come back from something like this. Damn.

[Warpy]

4. I notice she was arrested ten hours later

than her husband was, which smells a bit right out of the gate, like the cops didn't have probable cause when they went to the house but that somebody made a few phone calls and some money changed hands and blam! she was hauled in on charges.

It just doesn't pass the sniff test, IMO.

[ismnotwasm]

5. I'll have to read up more on the situation

But I do know this;
When a woman becomes demonized in the press, it's a hundred times worse than if it was a man. Rep. Mckinney comes to mind. Where a man might get away with certain things or even the implication of certain behavior, a women never will. Ever. And you're damn right it's the patriarchy. Even that digusting Newt Ginrich gets press, like he actually has something worthwhile to contribute to society.

As to why Democrats give up, or give in, I don't know. It's not hard to do research, look at voting records. People don't have to agree, but it would be productive to examine what's actually going on before making our minds up.

[iverglas]

6. knowing nothing about the case ...

(oops, danged short threads -- I meant to reply to the opening post!)

Google News isn't telling me much, and it wouldn't be enough to comment on a particular case anyhow. And I'm generally cautious about calling any individual situation a manifestation of some large problem without knowing details. So I say nought about Ms. Studebaker.

But ... I do know that locally here there is a prosecutorial policy that women should not be allowed to "get away with" anything, i.e. that charges are to be laid against women in circumstances where they would be laid against men, I suppose.

The problem is that the circumstances really just aren't very often the same. Men really aren't very often having to deal with narcissistic / psychopathic / sociopathic manipulative controlling bullying spouses (or other women in their lives). Men's violence against women really isn't very often explained by them feeling the need to defend or protect themselves from the onslaught of abuse, whether it be physical or psychological (or, in some women's cases, financial).

This charge 'em all and let god sort 'em out approach is becoming increasingly common, and is really unacceptable. Another example is the mutual restraining order solution -- that a woman can't, in practice, get a restraining order against an abusive estranged partner unless she agrees to submit to one herself, even though there is no basis for it other than lies told by the partner, or the partner's resolve to drag her through courts to the point that the purpose of the order, to protect her from abuse, is basically obviated because of the insecurity his behaviour continues to cause her.

It's all part of the backlash ...

[femrap]

7. This backlash is so vile...

I never realized how much certain men hate women...I had no idea.

[ismnotwasm]

8. Try pointing that out to your average mysogynist...

It's my experience they can't separate a woman's sexuality from the person. No doubt the socio-economic competition stresses that have developed over the years--econonic gains made off the blood, sweat and tears of feminists-- make it worse in the work place, or in this case government office.

They'll say "I LOVE women" (with a leer)
But they don't love the aged women, the ones considered "unattractive" or powerful. I'm always darkly amused how any women of power immediately gets the label "lesbian" If that doesn't work, any other accusation of-- we'll call it "unwomanly"-- behavior will do. Evidently if a women if unavailable or undesirable sexually, somehow that explains the threat these men feel.. It makes me sick.

It's a long, hard road we're traveling, and a fight like no other.

[femrap]

9. The boys resort to calling women 'lesbians' when

they're stymied by our competence. I look 'em straight in the eye and say, 'Honey, (which pisses them off cuz that is what they patronizingly call women), don't think for one second that I haven't prayed to be a lesbian...after all, look in the mirror and see what my alternative is....It ain't pretty from where I sit.'

Lucky I haven't been shot at....but now that I'm older and invisible, I haven't had as many encounters.

Guess we just have to keep our sense of humor....and use it to ridicule when necessary.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

10. "But..but...women have all the ADVANTAGES!!"

:eyes: Always uttered by the aforementioned chauvinist who fails to consider that the vast majority of women fall outside of the young/thin/hot/Caucasian category. I suspect most guys like that don't know many women personally. Their knowledge of female experience comes from one-dimensional media representations, strip clubs, Hooters, and Rush Limbaugh tirades.