Second opinions

[flamingyouth]

Now that the news has sunk in somewhat and I've done some research on my cancer, I feel like I want a second opinion.

Did you get second opinions or did you stick with your first doctor? My doctor is a surgeon and a urologist who treats cancer but isn't an oncologist. I felt he gave me good care and he did remove the tumor, but he also left me with this: "We'll wait and see if the tumor comes back and then we'll go from there" (in so many words) in three months. I have no check-ups with him before then.

Anyway, I'm just curious if others out there got other doctors' input. This is all very new to me.

Thanks again for everything and for all of your support and helpful advice. I really appreciate it. Hugs to you all. :grouphug:

[Irishonly]

1. You always

need to do what you think is right. I didn't have a second opinion but I also had a mammogram and a lump. Most people get a second and third opinion. It's very important to find a doctor you are comfortable with and if you want to talk to an oncologist I would ask to see one. You are making huge decisions and the more information you have, the more informed you are will make any treatment easier.

Some cancers that are caught early don't require chemo and that's wonderful. If you are questioning whether you should get a second opinion, you have answered your own question. You do what you are comfortable with. If you want a third opinion, go for it.

[flamingyouth]

5. Thank you

I have called a multidisciplinary center this morning to make an appointment. But to be honest, I like my current doctor, so if they tell me the same thing, it's likely I will stay with my current doctor. :)

[Irishonly]

7. Glad To Hear It

I liked my doctors also. My oncologist always looked like his face would crack if he smiled but I always knew he was honest and I had the best one there. I remember I was so thrilled the first time he smiled and laughed. My tumor was huge and I had aggressive chemo before I had surgery. The tumor has significantly shrunk and I thought he was going to break out in song and dance.

Remember that you play a very important part in your treatment. If it makes you feel better having the second opinion I am glad you are getting one. Having trust and liking your doctors is almost, if not as, important than the actual treatment.

How's mom and dad? Please let them know they are being thought of also. People that love you go through a type of treatment also. I was asked to write a letter to Congress expressing my sentiments and although I have no idea if it helped, I was glad to speak for families.

Please keep me posted.

[pecwae]

2. I'm so sorry to hear your news.

It takes a while to process it and wrap your mind around it.

I didn't get a second opinion with breast cancer and I should have done so the first time around. Maybe I would not have recurred had I gotten that second opinion and chose another route of treatment. This last time, with the thymoma, I did do a second that confirmed the first. The pathology turned out to be just a bit different than the first; to my favor. I'm now convinced of my diagnosis and have chosen how I will deal with it.

You said you feel you want a second and I say by all means do so! It's your body and your right to have all the information necessary to make decisions.

I'm in the 'watchful waiting' mode for the thymoma and doing the every three month testing, so I can empathize with that part of your siutation. I'm sorry:grouphug: Please, if you need to talk don't hesitate to PM me.

[flamingyouth]

6. Thank you, pecwae

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles here too. You have really been through a lot, my friend. And likewise, if you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me as well. :hug:

Thank you for your thoughts; even if this second opinion confirms the first (like yours), I think I'll feel a little better about my options. :)

[Tracer]

3. What are you looking for in a second opinion?

Is it that you don't trust the "wait-and-see" position?

That you don't trust your doctor because he's not an oncologist?

That you think that chemotherapy ought to be a choice for you?

What was the staging on your cancer?

It's true that in some cases, when the cancer is Stage 1 and hasn't spread, that some oncologists think that chemo is unnecessary.

[flamingyouth]

4. Honestly, I don't know

I guess I was a little uncomfortable with the "just come back in three months and we'll see if your cancer is back" approach more than anything. And that he's not an oncologist too. And I'm just freaked out that I have cancer. I guess the list could go on. :D

I have muscle-invasive stage 1 bladder cancer.

[Auntie Bush]

8. Personally I think you should get a second opinion by a

urologist/oncologist. My husband got three opinions and ended up going by the third opinion. I thank God we didn't go with the first...what a disaster that would have been! I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH...GET A SECOND OPINION and if you still have questions get a third. Your life or quality of life will depend on that decision. Also, do as much research on the internet as you can. It was the internet that cast doubts on his first opinion and his life would have been hell if he'd gone with that.

[flamingyouth]

9. Update: I got a second opinion

I met an awesome oncologist on Wednesday. I think the bottom line was that I just didn't like my urologist. I kept having horrible pain and other problems and he didn't care. I was also anemic and he didn't care. Basically... he didn't care (he should put that on his business card: "I Don't Care About You!"). He answered all of my questions, is referring me to a new urologist friend of his, and we really liked and trusted him.

I think my surgeon did a good job, and the oncologist ultimately backed up his opinion, but I just couldn't deal with the guy treating me like I didn't matter. So it was a real breath of fresh air to meet this new doctor on Wednesday and get along with him so well. I follow up with him next month. :)

[Imalittleteapot]

10. Good.

Glad you're rid of "I Don't Care About You". Sounds like things will be working better for you now. Hurray!

[Auntie Bush]

11. Half the battle is having faith in your Dr. and "feeling your pain" as Clinton would.

[pecwae]

12. Good!

In your situation you must have confidence that your physician cares about you. It makes so much difference.

Can you give us an idea of what your treatment, if any, will be? I just read your other thread about being Stage 1 and was sorry to hear that.

But, you know what, we are all here for one another and I take heart in that. I can really read relief in your above message and am glad you found someone you feel comfortable with. :hug: for you, sweets.

[flamingyouth]

13. Right now - just the surgery

I get checked again in January or so (exploratory surgery) to see if the tumor has returned, but for now, no chemo or radiation or even immunotherapy. There is a substantial chance of recurrence, but I'm keeping fingers crossed. Thanks so much. Hope you're doing okay too. :hug:

[Pharaoh]

14. Glad You are feeling positive

about all this flamingyouth, too many doctors out there that need intensive training in being human beings:hi:

[LiberalinNC]

15. I had 5 opinions - of them 4 agreed on the same treatment and the

5th guy had some "nut-job" treatment he wanted to use on me...which I believe would have killed me.

I always tell people, you are the chief of your medical team, if you can't deal w/ your doctor/nurse, change them. If you are comfortable w/ his treatment options, then stick w/ him/her. BTW you may want to call 1-800-4-cancer and ask them for the most up to date medical treatment for your type of cancer. Good luck!

[JohnnyLib2]

16. We found and have heard others say

that Drs. who care and understand encourage 2nd opinions. They realize it is part of the process of taking charge and probably the best of them exchange opinions behind the scenes anyway. I'd say go for it and trust yourself in the long run. Sounds like that's just what you are doing. All best wishes!

[Forkboy]

17. Didn't get one...my oncologist seemed extremely on the ball.

He was very upfront with me on what would happen,what to expect before and after the surgery,and even makes sure my appointments with him are at a hospital closer to me than where he normally works (I'm carless).

And the surgeon operated on my aunt a few years earlier and she said he was awesome,which turned out to be true.So I've been lucky.The only doctor I didn't like was the first surgeon who removed the lump in the first place for the biopsy,but that was all I had to see him for,thankfully.