Dilemma. Whether to go with special needs camp or camp with high counselor/child ratio?

[Pithlet]

Our 6 year old son has been in a special ed preschool program for a year and a half. He will be starting mainstream kindergarten this fall. Last summer we sent him to the special ed summer program through the public school, but we've decided to forgo that this year as the material is well below his ability. We're talking shapes and colors, and he is learning to read and write. The main purpose is more keeping him in a routine so he doesn't lose his social skills and ability to concentrate than academic, but we're afraid he'd be bored with the material. We'd like to go with a day camp program instead, and there are some that are geared towards special needs and disabled kids. However, in talking with some of them, it seems Alex would be much higher functioning than most of the other kids, so we're afraid that is the same as the summer program. We talked to a regular day camp that has a high counselor to kid ratio, and they said they'd be willing to give it a try if we work really hard with them, which of course we would do. But, these camps are a lot of money, and I'm afraid after a few days they may drop him because he does still require a bit more attention than most kids his age. ETA he also has AD/HD. It's one of the conundrums of having a high functioning child with disabilities. Does anyone have any suggestions, or stories to relate of their own experiences? We very much appreciate it.

[hunter]

1. My parents were sink-or-swim sorts.

I don't know if that was a good thing, but probably not.

The only reason I completed some camp programs was that my mom was MUCH more difficult to deal with than I was.

It did't matter if I was wandering off or hitting people who intruded on my own little world -- it was a whole lot easier to give the weird little kid some extra attention than it was to call his mom.

[hedgehog]

2. Can you talk to any of the counselors themselves, and maybe introduce your son?

My sister-in-law is a nurse with a master's in early childhood education. She had no trouble at all with students that other teachers labeled AD/HD. The point is, the other teachers tried to force all the kids into a structure that some kids couldn't handle. She structured her classes around the kids, and all of a sudden, the behavior problems went away.

[ikojo]

3. If he's Jewish...then when he is entering 9th grade

he can go to Camp Ramah's Tikvah program. One of my friends has been sending his son for the past three years and his son really looks forward to it.

Here is a link for Jewish aspies http://www.campramah.org/tikvah.html

[hedgehog]

4. How did things go this summer?

What did you decide on, and why and are you happy with your decision?

[Pithlet]

7. He did go, and it was wonderful.

He went to a camp sponsored by the United Cerebral Palsy Foundation. He's since started Kindergarten and is doing very well.

[SheilaT]

5. This is a tough judgement call.

I'd really need a lot more information -- which would probably be more than you would want to or should put on a public forum than this. However . . . .

My oldest son (probably) has Asperger's. We finally figured that out when he was 18 and half way through his senior year in high school. He'd always been somewhat different growing up, and I'm personally glad we didn't have the label until fairly late, even if it did mean there were a lot of frustrations because I simply could not understand why he was the way he was.

We enrolled him in LOTS of camp programs. He generally did well in them, and did better in those that had low counselor to camper ratios. His least productive experience was one aimed at kids with special needs, back when he was in sixth grade and I'd figured out he did have problems with social issues, although I didn't yet have the name "Asperger's" to associate with him.

One problem with conventional schools, by which I mean any school, whether private, public or parochial -- including Catholic or fundamentalist Christian or Jewish or Moslem, is that they expect children to proceed in a lockstep fashion through the curriculum. Even "normal" children don't always do well if they are not developing EXACTLY as the conventional school model thinks the child should be developing. This is where parents need to step in.

Ask yourself the following questions:
Will your child (as he is now) disrupt the camp activities?
If your kid were "normal", would your child as he is now significantly impact your "normal" kid's camp experience? How would you feel about that disruption?
Will your child be better off in this regular camp experience rather than the special needs one?

That last is the really crucial and tricky question, I think. When you say he needs "a bit more attention" are you downplaying his needs? Or is he honestly just slightly more needing of attention?

All I can say is that my son's "mainstreaming" was the best thing that could have happened for him. But he was not so obviously different (handicapped if you will) that he clearly needed to be in special ed or anything like that. He was simply different from other kids. He will always be different. He's now 24, has a limited social life, but is preparing to move into his own apartment this week. He's still going to college -- THAT'S been a real challenge, but he's finally in a program that we think he can succeed in. He works 20 hours a week doing math tutoring and he will eventually be fully self-supporting. Perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind is that in the normal course of events he will outlive you. At this point, since he's only six, his being an adult and being on his own is impossibly far into the future, but I think you must keep that future firmly in mind as you shepherd him through life.

[sam sarrha]

6. what saved me was the 'Boy Scouts'... they have a social code, and badges help goal orientation, i

got Eagle Scout and highest merit badges in the state..

the have their problems.... don't harm the child with your own grudges.. tell the troop leader about the problems, he wont pass it along if requested.. but will have a special effort made for tho other kids to help him..

consider it, he will learn soo much and make life ling friends

more if you want

[Kajsa]

9. Unfortunately, I had the opposite experience

with my son in Boy Scouts.

He and the other two scouts with ADHD/ HS autism were treated like
second class citizens in our local troop.

Personally, I think it was the doing of the overbearing Scout leader's wife,
who ran the show.

She was/is an insufferable, bigoted, narrow minded bitch who wouldn't give these
three a chance if her life depended on it.

Her son, also a scout, was downright mean to them.
Some Eagle Scout he was.;(

I'm glad you have a positive experience.
I wish they had.

:hi:

[Pithlet]

8. Sorry to respond so late. Thank you all for your responses.

Summer was a whirlwind, and then Alex started school. We ended up going with a camp sponsored by the United Cerebral Palsy Foundation, and they were wonderful. Our involvement with them didn't end when camp ended. They still have parties and other events that we go to, and it's like a big family. I'm so glad we did it. It's hard sometimes to get involved in a parental social network when you have a child with special needs. Alex is now in Kindergarten and his first report card is almost perfect. He's doing very well.