Question For DU Female Members Re. Ms. Gloria Cain

[DemocratSinceBirth]

Let me preface my remarks by saying we all react differently to different situations. That being said, would you react as calmly as Ms. Gloria Cain if your husband, father, significant other was accused of putting his hand up a woman's dress and pressing her her head into his crotch against her will?

IMHO, her reaction that she believed his account did not have the "ring of truth".

[Autumn]

1. If my Husbands company had settled 2, count them 2

sexual harassment suits, my head would have been pulled out of the sand.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

3. Her Denial Insulted My Intelligence

She dismissed the charges as if her husband was accused of being a poor driver.

[JoePhilly]

12. So I have not been following her statements ... did SHE know about the settlements back when

they actually happened??

At first, "Herb" said he "didn't know about them, oh wait, yes I do remember something about that, so on".

I wonder when she first knew. Did she know about the 2 settlements back then, or did she just learn about them.

If she did know "back then" .... then surely "Herb" should have had a better memory. If she did not know back then, meaning he did not tell her as it was happening ... I call BS.

If a woman had falsely claimed that I had ever done anything inappropriate, and that woman was filing charges with my company ... my wife would be one of the first to know, because I would be telling her about EVERY encounter I had with that woman, in the hopes that if I did so something inappropriate, and not realize it, my wife would be able to spot it.

But if the allegations were true, you'd want it settled quick and quietly, which is the purpose of the non-disclose pay-off.

[hlthe2b]

2. Didn't see it... but for me, her reaction was probably "pre-ordained"

I suspect she prepared for it continuously and may even have popped a beta-blocker to keep her so calm and nonchalent.

[Tikki]

4. Stepford wife...

...they wear dresses with big full skirts...so their
husbands have something to hide behind.


Tikki

[tabatha]

5. Kochs paid her an amount of money, too big to refuse.

[Raven]

6. I think I probably would react the same in public. After all, he

has denied these accusations and he has probably assured her they are not true. He's probably told her that this is politics. Unless she has seen this behavior, she is going to believe her husband. On the other hand, if she's wise to him, she probably warned him not to get into the race in the first place. If she believes the accusations, she's probably mopped the floor with him...in private. Notice she isn't appearing "at his side."

[emilyg]

7. In public - sure I would

react the same way.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

8. If Someone I Loved Was Falsely Accused I Would Be Much, Much, Much More Emphatic

.

[emilyg]

10. She impresses me as

a quiete mouse.

[DURHAM D]

9. Was she reading from 3x5 cards?

[madmom]

11. I would not say anything PUBLIC ALLY until all evidence has been presented. THEN

if it was a case of more likely than not (which IMO, it will be) I would let go like a freaking tornado both in private and in public.

[JNelson6563]

13. Her performance might not represent her reaction.

She's no doubt doing her public thing and a different sort of thing in private. Who knows? Maybe she fancies herself the next FLOTUS. lol

Julie

[Raine1967]

14. Personally, I think it is too soon for me to judge. Let me explain why:

and I truly appreciate your responses thus far in this thread. I have not seen the entire interview, I will disclose that.

I am moving back between many different questions.

Did she know about her husband? If so, when.

Is she being oput out there because her husband wanted her to speak? (thus far she is the only one that has come to his defense. the ONLY one)

What if she is correct that this is NOT the man she knows? I am tending to lean towards that conclusion. There is a very good chance that she was never told of the 2 sexual harassment settlements that happens while he was working for the NRA -- at this point she may very well be in total shock and denial.

I guess I am not going to dismiss her. She might be speaking truth. She has been married to him for a very long time -- and she may very well be speaking of the man she knows in private. MANY -- most if not all women who are in relationships, especially long term ones would never believe the man they love could be capable of such things.

I am willing to believe these women who came forward, right now I have no reason to disbelieve a woman who may be another one done wrong by Mr. Cain. I can't imagine what she may be going through.

[Marnie]

15. Who was actually speaking?

Her personally, her as a professional wife of a public figure, her as a member the Cain for Pres.staff who was handed a script to memorize and regurgitate?

Bottom line is virtually nobody is going to change their opinion based on what she said, becasue she is now the wife of a wanna be politician. Political spouses have a very well defined roll, and she played that roll.

[lynne]

16. Sadly, that could be her coping mechanism -

- Some women will ignore, explain away, dismiss the most obvious of situations because that's what they must do to emotionally survive. They can't believe what they're hearing and seeing and the pain is just too great to confront the situation in the light of day so they "rationalize" it away. Possibly she feels she has no other options - feels she's too tired or too old or too comfortable in her life to want to accept this. So, she copes by rationalizing it away and looking in the other direction.

I've seen far too many women do the same thing. I'm not sure they can help it.

[Whisp]

17. I have no idea what she knows or doesn't know, but

what I do know is when the accused drag in their wives to vouch for them - they are dust.

guilty as charged.

[trayfoot]

18. Sadly for her, I did NOT believe her.

[Blasphemer]

19. Really hard to say

I'd like to think that when confronted with overwhelming evidence, I would call my husband on his behavior and encourage him to be truthful and pay whatever restitution (financial, moral) necessary to his victims. I cannot imagine staying married to a person who engaged in such behavior without any remorse. That said, I also think it highly likely that, given the type of person I would be inclined to marry, I would find it hard to see the evidence in front of me objectively. I might first assume there was a "vast right wing conspiracy" at play rather than believing my husband capable of the type of behavior of which he would be accused. So, I imagine I would come across, at least initially, as an enabler or someone in denial. I would probably eventually accept the reality and make sure that he, and the world, knew that I found this type of behavior unforgivable. What I would not do is leap to his defense publicly until I had enough time to sort out the facts and process everything both intellectually and emotionally. I also would not accept any type of incentive (financial or otherwise) to "stand by my man" if I believed that he was guilty. I would, however, consider writing a book about my decision to kick him to the curb! :)

[Tx4obama]

20. The Cain scandal broke 2+ weeks ago. No one knows how furious she may have been during week one n/t

[southernyankeebelle]

21. This woman is in total denial. She knows the true but is afraid to admit it.

[marlakay]

22. If I was married for 45 yrs

she is probably thinking since she looks like housewife of many years, I could go through divorce and he would make things messy for me and I would be shamed at church or I can pretend to stand by his side and tell him I will say so but not out in public!!

He is such a control freak asshole I bet he has her scared of him. He has probably threatened her over the years, I wouldn't be surprised. She is older and doesn't want the hassle of divorce. I totally understand that, things when young we would fight and say no way
as a older person we put up with it and just ignore what is happening.

She probably doesn't watch a lot of news and stays to herself. Surrounded by close friends and family that know and agree with her what a fucked up guy he is and that allows her to play her part……...

[vaberella]

23. As a female I've come to notice women have an uncanny ability to lie to themselves.

And with enough work and practice as she's had she's mastered it. It's as bad as HRC dealing with Clinton's fiascos. I think Clinton is a total sexist and personally for me...I would have left both men. In Cain's case..it would take longer. Maybe after the second accusation I'd have walked out...not the first.

But this need to convince yourself your man is alright...is something all women face especially when you've been for a long time, he's the breadwinner and you're not, and definitely when children are involved.

Do I feel sorry for her. No. Do I pity her? No. She knows what she got involved in.

[hue]

24. DeNial---it ain't just a river in Egypt!! n/t