Reply #51: A powerful, eloquent masterpiece! [View All]

[idadem]

An appreciation of poetry demands a drunken soul.

My first interpretation realizes that his penis is the intended
recipient of this poem:

Roses are red (Vaginas, Senor Winces)
Violets are blue (Blue balls)
Oh my, lump in the bed (Lil' Dick)
How I've missed you. (Can't even eat pretzels w/o splash headlines)
Roses are redder (Interns everywhere!)
Bluer am I (at the breaking point)
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy. (suck my dick, Chirac!)
The dogs and the cat, they missed you too (I won't go there)
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe (nor here)
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier (In time, I will see u again)
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier. (Ignore other women, ride tax-paid rollercoasters)

---

The second interpretation outlines a jealous warning from husband to wife:

Roses are red (I, the Rose Garden, am PISSED!)
Violets are blue (Violet=his term of endearment towards her, blue=the color of a corpse)
Oh my, lump in the bed (...could happen whilst you sleep?)
How I've missed you. (you must come back home sometime)
Roses are redder (I'm getting even more pissed thinking about this)
Bluer am I (ice runs through my veins, chilling thoughts)
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy. (la probleme)
The dogs and the cat, they missed you too (dogs=secret service, cat=personal escort)
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe (former love interest expired, remember???)
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier (had to stretch my thumb, but you're still under it)
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier. (lots of possibilities here other than the obvious 'Lewinsky' symbolism. I can/have destroy/attack anyone anywhere, you cannot outwit me, etc. etc)

N'est-ce pas?