FirstLight
(1000+ posts)
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Mon Feb-18-08 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
7. ...that is really scary... |
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I live on the edge of destitution every day, and I have actually gone there and said those things to my kids when in a freak out about how we are going to survive... It didn't come from "me" - I am educated, and was raised in a middle class home with love, respect etc...but when that fear comes in, I end up reverting to the caged animal mentality and things come out of my mouth that I hate myslf for saying.. yes, the feeling of wanting to bolt and run is part of that poverty angst... Like if I just didn't have kids it would make it better? which is stupid because they are my LIFE and I love them fiercely...
but when I am feeling alone and scared, I become a different person. unfortunately, I have been feeling like I've spent more time trapped in that corner than not lately.
(...And if the government can watch us and know what we are doing...why can't they get my ex husband to pay child suport? ya, that's another thread entirely)
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